Trusting

Sometimes I have a hard time being alone. I know that really I’m never really alone. I get that. But if you know me, you know that I want to be married. Many times in my life, I would have settled just to be married. I would have settled for less than God’s best for me.


Sometimes I go to a wedding and it’s so perfect and I think “I wonder if I will ever really have that”. I wonder why God gave me this crazy desire to be married, and I’m 40 and still single. I am not often quiet about it to God, I’m not some sweet daughter of the King, I have those moments when I just yell and scream. And sometimes I sit sweetly and say “whatever You have for me Lord” and sometimes I am excited about what God has planned, even if it means that I never get married.

People think I’m so awesome, LOL. I don’t just say that to say that, people actually tell me. They can’t understand why I’m not married yet. Oh, I can give you soooo many reasons why. I can tell you that I actually think that God knew what He was doing when He hasn’t brought me a husband… yet.



You see, I had a lot of baggage I have been carrying around. I’ve slowly been unpacking that dirty laundry out of my suitcase. It’s almost like an old trunk, more than luggage. I would slowly take things out, look at it, and decide if it’s worth keeping (a gift) or if it should be discarded. As if I’ve been saving something that could bring me harm. Like something that would attract moths, and ruin the good that is in my trunk.

I was listening to the song “Forever Reign” by Hillsong United .



There was just this moment yesterday, in my sadness, that I remembered that God has a plan for me. He is… so much more than I could ever express. He reigns. And in my brokenness and my sadness, He is.

Sometimes people look at me with sadness and they have such pity in their eyes. Poor Margie… she’s not dating, she’s not married, she’s alone.

I’d like to just say, pray for my husband, pray for me, that God continues to work in my heart to be the wife, He created me to be. A serving and loving wife. But I want you to know, God has a great plan for me. He’s got something so much greater than just a mediocre life for me. I have an amazing life. I know it might not look like everyone else’s life. But… I’m not like everyone else.

I love teenagers
I love Haiti
I love Detroit
I really do believe I can change the world (even if it’s with root beer floats, clearance toys, hugs, checks, smiles, and a love bigger than I ever knew)
I love Jesus

One day, I do believe I will be married. And whoever is lucky enough to marry me, it’s gonna be great, and we will both say “I’m the lucky one”.

God has a great plan for me. It’s gonna be wild, it’s gonna be great, it’s gonna be full of Him. And whatever it is, I trust Him.



Eph 5:21-3321 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.



Comments

Deb said…
Oh....you are definitely going to be married one day...I feel it in my spirit every time I pray for you!! In His perfect timing... :)
Margie said…
Loveyou