Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Saturday, April 20, 2013

His love. I will speak it. Always.

All the poor and powerless
And all the lost and lonely
All the thieves will come confess
And know that You are holy
And know that You are holy

And all will sing out
And we will cry out
All the hearts who are content
And all who feel unworthy 
And all who hurt with nothing left
Will know that You are holy

These lyrics blow me away! I remember singing them as someone who loved Jesus and being so absolutely broken, at a time in my life when I wanted to end my life. At some point I thought that breathing in dirt would be less painful than the heart break that I felt. 
The only real reason why I didn't kill myself was that I didn't want to leave my daughter an orphan and I knew that if I killed myself she would get no insurance money (I'm very practical even in my pain).
Through all this pain, I knew one thing. I was loved. I was loved by others, but mostly I was loved by God. 
I believe this one crazy scripture.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28 NIV)
All summer God showed me so many times how thing in my life had worked for His good. Things I messed up. Things I hated. He worked it out. 

Do you hear me? 

He worked it out.

Not only for His good, because all things are worked out for His glory. But He loves me so much, He worked it out for my good!!

I came out of that pain that I didn't think I could survive stronger than I ever thought I'd be.

 I grabbed onto Jesus with both hands. I cried. I crawled. I didn't know if I'd ever come out of the darkness, but light shines brightest in the darkness.  There were days that I felt so close to Him because I felt so absolutely lonely. 

And all who hurt with nothing left
Will know that You are holy

I knew. I knew God's word. It was stitched onto my heart, thankfully I knew that He was Holy. He is set apart. His love is the biggest greatest thing I've ever encountered. It was/is a cloak wrapped around me.
It rescued me.

His love has rescued more times than I can count. 

I will say, that I will spend my life telling everyone about Jesus. Maybe I will tell them about Jesus by just loving them and sometimes I will tell them with words. 

I love you. Everyday. No matter what.

The greatest lesson I ever lived.


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