This is a super ramble... I felt like i had so much to say... and none of it makes sense...
Well, it’s kind of weird eating normal food now after doing the 4 day fast. I actually thought I’d be so excited to eat regular food again, but honestly, I lack the desire to eat at all. I mean I eat, because clearly by looking at me, you know I eat. Food that’s good for me actually seems to be more attractive than junk. I ate a piece of pizza and was like “blah” and I went out to dinner with my friend, and didn’t eat the amount that I would normally eat, it was good, but honestly, I love drinking the smoothies I make. My favorite is a spinach/mango/strawberry/flaxseed/probiotic juice concoction. It’s delicious and good for me. My goal is to have a smoothie of some kind 4-5 days a week in replacement of meals. I feel so much better!
I loved fasting a lot more than I thought I would, I felt completely connected to God and that was amazing! Coming off of that was difficult I have to admit. I loved being so connected and actually had to make more of an effort. God really did some big things in my heart last week, and so I really had to stay focused when things got “back to normal” whatever the heck that means. I don’t have a normal!
I have to say that I am really missing my mom this weekend! I am so blessed because I have been blessed with the greatest “bonus mom” but that doesn’t make me miss my momma any less. This month is the month that she passed away, and I wonder at what point am I not going to miss her? It’s been 39 years.
My heart seems so overwhelmed by God today! I’m so very thankful for so much and so many people and my heart is praying. I find myself so thankful. I find myself more and more in love (with God) and it blows me away. Just when I think that my heart can’t hold any more love, God increases it. I know that it seems weird sometimes, I never thought I could be one of those “Jesus people” but completely surrendering my life over to Him has proven worth it. It is true, whoever loses His life for my sake will find it. And sometimes in that crazy love, God sends me real life hugs to remind me of His love. Saturday I went to a party and my nieces (and one nephew) met me before I could get down the stairs to the door with ginormous love. Yesterday I asked my nephew Judah for a hug, and he hugged me for I don’t even know how long (it was more like a snug than a hug), and I said to my friend Jen “for this day I prayed”. And towards the end of the night, one of my girls came late and she met me with a giant hug, the long holding kind.
I spent some time serving with some of the greatest people on the planet for the Creator of the Universe. Praying that hearts will come to know Jesus because of yesterday!
Matthew 10:39 Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.