In my life it is true, I know what it is to be in want, and to be in plenty. Just my bank account. I know what it is to want something so much and to have your dreams come true. And to be honest, I don’t know which is better or worse. There are good and bad of both. Having first world problems makes me take things for granted. When I complain that in my car I cannot reach the ATM buttons without opening my door, or that my iced tea isn’t strong enough. Really? That’s just stupid. I remember times when I didn’t have money to put in the ATM or that I didn’t even have the money to buy tea, that was a privilege, a treat.
But today I was thinking about how I know what it is like to be in bondage, and I know what it is to be like in freedom. I have been crying for a week in complete praise of Jesus. I think of the things that got me to this place. This place where I feel like my spirit soars. I mean a lot of times I have found comfort in the scripture Is 40:31 but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. But I found comfort in the fact that I needed to find hope, that when I felt hopeless and tired that eventually I would soar, that when I hoped in Jesus, I would run and not grow weary, but I found that comfort in the times when I was… tired. But now I think of that verse differently today.
Is 40:31 but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
For a long time, I served people because I thought that I was supposed to do, and it is, I am called to serve. But really I am called to serve jesus, and in that I serve others. I’ve been learning to do the things that God has called me to do and when to rest. And in that, I have found that my heart is filled with joy when I serve.
In having joy, I have found a new connection with Jesus. I’ve always been connected to Jesus, I’ve felt His direction and I’ve heard it. I’ve even have seen visions of what He has planned. But in finding this joy, in working on the pain in my life, I’ve found this freedom that I’ve never known. I actually feel like I’m soaring. And if, for even just a moment, I am outside His will or not resting when I should, it is painful for me. It’s like a tazer to my spirit. Ouch! It doesn’t take long to get reconnected because for the love of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, who wants to feel tasered, not me, that’s for sure.
Do you remember when you were a child and someone big and strong would lift you above their head and you’d feel the sun on your face and the wind rushed through your hair? Oh I do! That’s what I feel like now. That God has broken the chains that held me down for so long… and now, I’m free and I feel the sun on my face and the breeze through my hair that my arms are wide open waiting for whatever God has planned, or maybe just waiting for the next hug I’m not sure. (“My kids” know that when I stick my arm out as they walk by that means “I’m waiting for my hug it’s the universal sign for “give Margie a hug”)
John 8:36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed
I’M FREE!!!!! For the first time in my whole life, I’m free.
I can’t even put into words what that means. I’ve always been willing in my heart to follow Jesus but there has always been this part of me that says “what if” or that the people who would plant doubts because of their own fear would get into my head and paralyze me. Ugh. Now I see the reasons they said such things… fear. And since I don’t believe in fear, I pray and take a step.
I know that there are so many things that God has in store for me, great crazy plans, I’m so excited! I’m excited to take this feeling of freedom and put it into action (whatever that looks like!!) I’m excited to love more than I’ve ever loved before because I don’t fear getting hurt or that someone will leave me, I just am not. I’m ready to love. Love whoever comes into my path, whether it’s a husband or a grandma who is carrying for her family, or a child or a momma, I am prepared to love.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:13-14
If you haven’t watched this yet, you need to. And if you’ve already watched it, watch it again! OHMYWORD! This kid is a muffin!