Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Wednesday, June 05, 2013

Growing and moving

Just got this...  I can't
wait to read it!
So I’ve been working on the Fruit of the Spirit. Remember that time I said I had 1.5 of the nine. Which really meant I thought I had love and some joy… the patience, peace, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control were out the window. To be honest, looking back, I am not sure I without all those things, I just didn’t see them through the pain and the mud. A lot of seeds get planted that we never see because there is no water or sun to help them grow.

One thing I had to do was recognize the times when I needed them the most. So when I’d have a hard time and knew my fruit was rotting and about to be picked and thrown at someone… I’d say them outloud…

Love joy peace patience goodness kindness faithfulness gentleness SELF CONTROL! And sometimes I’d make a fist and clinch my teeth when I said SELF CONTROL! And I’d have to repeat to myself “serve unto the Lord” and I’d repeat my thankfuls for the day.

It was life changing because my heart was changing. Every day I really try to grow closer and closer to God so that they things He wants I want. I remember the day that I was like “I don’t want” and He said “don’t you think I can” and it was like most things that God does in my life. He opened my eyes, He removed the scales. Stop seeing the things the way you see them, see them the way I see them.

I’ve been reading a lot. I’ve been reading and listening to books that are stretching me and growing me. There were so many times I’d say “oh that’s great, but I could never do that” I think I might have even said a time or two or thousand “I’m no Mother Teresa” well, that’s true, I am no Mother Teresa. God didn’t make me that way. But as I grow in Him, I believe the impossible for my life. I believe I am going to open that community center. I don’t know where the money will come from, I don’t know if any one will buy my book (book sales will all go to the community center – the old co-dependent me thinks $2 will go towards it, but the part of me who loves and trusts God thinks it will be thousands and thousands! – not because of me but because of God) but I trust God that He will give me the words.

I am working on my book in my heart. It’s time to start putting words to the page. I am going to start writing. Though I can’t figure out when. HAHA! In the past I’ve asked God to block out our time together, and He has been faithful (as He always is) so I will ask for a weekend (and the money) to be alone and write like crazy. I’m going to be working on the outline this weekend. I will be faithful in my small things and let God take care of the rest. Just like I did what small things I could do to get fruit and I let God change my heart in big ways.

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