Have you ever just had one of those moments when the Holy Spirit takes over your thoughts, your heart, and it’s almost impossible to hold back the tears?
Today I was in a meeting thinking about how lucky I am. I mean really, I am just a mess most of the time, and in the deepest darkest time in my life, God sent people to be my friends when I didn’t think I’d ever trust anyone to be my friend again. He sent friends who have loved me for a long time to come alongside me and love me, and pray for me. He reminded me how much He loves me by having a dear friend who really is more like family than a friend say to me “I loveyou every day, no matter what”.
I can pull up my bible on my phone and listen to it or read it any time I want, and man, my real bible, it’s worn out. I don’t have to hide my love for His word, and my bible is full of pictures from my journey of love and notes from people who love me.
I have bible studies, and podcasts, and music, all to help me grow more and more in love with Jesus.
Tomorrow, I meet with the second team that I am co-leading to the orphanage and I’m so excited to be a part of this team and actually so excited about serving with two other amazing leaders. And a chance to smooch on the muffins for the whole week? Wow! How did I get so blessed? Certainly not anything I’ve done, but God…
And I have like three things left to pack for the two trips! I’m sooooo excited!! I find myself so thankful for three mission trips this summer! WOW! I said I would never do three trips in one summer again, but I’ll tell you, it has been such a blessing to me, I have learned that the only way I am going to make it is to cling to God like a baby chimp holds onto it’s momma as she swings through the jungle. And, let me tell you, that’s tight. I’ve learned so much that I can have incredible joy, complete fruit really(love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control) in such a reliance in God, I have no control, and any thought of having control of anything really was just a false protection that I tried to create in my own mind. Sure, I am busy, and organized, but controlling, eh, I have no control, I can only control myself. Which has brought me such peace. I deal with what needs to be dealt with, in my power, and I act with good character and integrity, and I let God take care of the rest.
There is something about knowing, really believing that I am loved, I am worthy of love, and I am beautiful, that God really really does love me, in my mess, in all that I do, it is freeing, and it brings incredible fruit. WOW! And who doesn’t like fruit?!
There are things that I feel like I want in my life, but I am thankful for right where I am.
I find myself overcome with thankfulness, completely overwhelmed. I know that I am right where God wants me, and of course, I am praying about this time, and what is to come. I am excited about both, praying every day that God would do a work in my heart to move in me and through me.
Well, now, wasn’t that just a big bunch of rambling…
Phil 4:11-12 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.