I was co-dependent and I didn’t even know it. That can really make a mess of your life if you let it. I didn’t know, but as soon as I did, I worked on changing it. I worked hard. Becoming more like Jesus is hard work! It’s work that sometimes in the middle of it, is like a room I’ve decided to clean out, it looks worse at some point in the middle and I think “what did I get myself into, this looks worse than it did before I started”. Well in the middle of hard work the pain is really tough, I often felt like I couldn’t breathe. But when I was through it, WOW! LOVE JOY PEACE PATIENCE GOODNESS KINDNESS GENTLENESS, and SELF CONTROL.
It doesn’t mean that I don’t ever hurt or get frustrated, it means that I’ve learned to really let it go. It does mean that I examine the things that people say to me or behave towards me and I do a self-check. Is there something I really need to apologize for , to them or to God? If the answer is yes, I immediately apologize, and that’s not something I did before. I would put it off, maybe hoping it would go away. I’ve learned that if I don’t apologize, it is like a wound that never heals, and sometimes that wound opens other wounds in me, and in others. I’ve really learned that dealing with things right away, even if it’s hard, is better. It’s way less painful in the long run. Hurt over time can cause gan-green. Ick.
I purchased an app on my phone “Fighter Verse”. Now, I will tell you the truth, I’ve only purchased 2 or 3 apps. Most of the time I think “why should I pay for that, I’ve lived my whole life without that, it’s not worth paying for, even if it’s only $.99” but I paid for this app. And this morning, as I opened to this week’s fighter verse, the amount of money I paid ($2.99) was worth every penny.
Phil 4:6-7 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
The funniest part of this verse today, is that all weekend I was filled with anxiety even if I know better. Thinking about things I cannot control (like the thoughts of others or the pain of others). I know better. I even woke up Sunday morning with a heavy heart. At 3 in the morning, I knew God had something to tell me. So I listened. I think people could tell yesterday that my heart was heavy (I posted the other day that I can’t be fake).
God has spoken to me so many times “you do what you know to do, I’ll take care of the rest”. Ok, I’m listening. Really. And I’m setting it before Your Throne.
One of my favorite worship bands is Elevation Worship, I just recently ordered one of their CDs from Amazon and really loved it, I actually found them on Rhapsody and downloaded all the albums that were available. Yesterday at Mack Avenue Community Church we sang “Nothing is wasted”
One of my favorite verse, one that was so big on heart Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
All that I’ve been through in my life, nothing is wasted. God uses it all. He uses His story in my life to help others. I may not be someone who is on the stage telling people about Jesus, but it’s different for me, people see my struggles and the way that God has changed my life, and that is just fine for me. As long as they see Him and not me
I’ve been wondering lately about my book and why I don’t have any words to write it lately, maybe it’s time to listen, and at another point it will be time to write. I don’t know, but I know that God has created me for such a time as this… and so I will praise Him, and I am thankful that nothing is wasted. I am thankful that I can bring all things before Him and He will give me peace.