Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Tired but holding on

I’m just going to warn you, this will not be one of those I super love Jesus posts where everyone gets a toothache.

This is one of those “I super love Jesus but I’m super tired” posts.  The kind that you will read, I am clinging to Jesus with both hands, and when I lose my grip, I know, He’s got me.

My stomach hurts all the time.  I don’t always feel like I’m gonna puke but this morning, I sat on the edge of the bathtub and thought “I’m not sure if I can get up”.  I don’t know what I would do if I ate garbage because I’d never make it.  I find myself hating to eat though, I’m starving (and I think my blood sugar may have dropped earlier because I was super shakey) so I eat, but I don’t really feel like it.

Whether you do or don’t believe in spiritual warfare, it’s real.  And it started with the enemy and a pellet gun, I think that little booger may have moved on to an oozie.  I’ve had to do some really hard things in the last couple days.  I did them both, and once again, God proved Himself faithful (not that I had any doubt).  Yesterday I felt Iike I was too tired to make taco seasoning.  My block and others may have been annoyed by no power, but honestly, I felt like it was a gift from God because I had to go out to eat for dinner.  Maybe I’m stupid that I see the gifts of God in everything, but I refuse not to be thankful. 

I know that some of you who read this will say “what can I help you with?” the question is I don’t know.  I have to go grocery shopping next Saturday for The Mission Trip around 2pm, want to keep me company and pull a cart?? And help me haul it all into the building.  I usually take 3 people with me, that’s how much stuff I get!!!  Imagine doing that all by myself?  It’s overwhelming just thinking about it.  Imagine buying cookies/chips for 85 people and everything else for 5 days.  That’s a lot of cookies and chips!!  And hoping no one breaks into it before the trip (I am thankful for cameras at the church now). 

MY FOOT HURTS!  So much that I haven’t been running on it.  I don’t know how I will make it through the Detroit Mission Trip without miracleous healing,  I am not kidding.  With no feet problems, my feet feel like bloody stumps by Wednesday as it is… what on earth am I going to do?  And no, I am not going to the doctor. They will put me in a boot.  How is that for logic?

I am so excited for these trips, I’m just tired.   As crazy as everyone thought I was, I am thankful that all the Haiti supplies are packed!  How would I do all that??

Please pray for me.

God will lift me up.

Psalm 37[a]

Do not fret because of those who are evil
    or be envious of those who do wrong;
for like the grass they will soon wither,
    like green plants they will soon die away.

Trust in the Lord and do good;
    dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;
    trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
    your vindication like the noonday sun.

Be still before the Lord
    and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when people succeed in their ways,
    when they carry out their wicked schemes.

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
    do not fret—it leads only to evil.
For those who are evil will be destroyed,
    but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.

10 A little while, and the wicked will be no more;
    though you look for them, they will not be found.
11 But the meek will inherit the land
    and enjoy peace and prosperity.

12 The wicked plot against the righteous
    and gnash their teeth at them;
13 but the Lord laughs at the wicked,
    for he knows their day is coming.

14 The wicked draw the sword
    and bend the bow
to bring down the poor and needy,
    to slay those whose ways are upright.
15 But their swords will pierce their own hearts,
    and their bows will be broken.

16 Better the little that the righteous have
    than the wealth of many wicked;
17 for the power of the wicked will be broken,
    but the Lord upholds the righteous.

18 The blameless spend their days under the Lord’s care,
    and their inheritance will endure forever.
19 In times of disaster they will not wither;
    in days of famine they will enjoy plenty.

20 But the wicked will perish:
    Though the Lord’s enemies are like the flowers of the field,
    they will be consumed, they will go up in smoke.

21 The wicked borrow and do not repay,
    but the righteous give generously;
22 those the Lord blesses will inherit the land,
    but those he curses will be destroyed.

23 The Lord makes firm the steps
    of the one who delights in him;
24 though he may stumble, he will not fall,
    for the Lord upholds him with his hand.

25 I was young and now I am old,
    yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
    or their children begging bread.
26 They are always generous and lend freely;
    their children will be a blessing.[b]

27 Turn from evil and do good;
    then you will dwell in the land forever.
28 For the Lord loves the just
    and will not forsake his faithful ones.

Wrongdoers will be completely destroyed[c];
    the offspring of the wicked will perish.
29 The righteous will inherit the land
    and dwell in it forever.

30 The mouths of the righteous utter wisdom,
    and their tongues speak what is just.
31 The law of their God is in their hearts;
    their feet do not slip.

32 The wicked lie in wait for the righteous,
    intent on putting them to death;
33 but the Lord will not leave them in the power of the wicked
    or let them be condemned when brought to trial.

34 Hope in the Lord
    and keep his way.
He will exalt you to inherit the land;
    when the wicked are destroyed, you will see it.

35 I have seen a wicked and ruthless man
    flourishing like a luxuriant native tree,
36 but he soon passed away and was no more;
    though I looked for him, he could not be found.

37 Consider the blameless, observe the upright;
    a future awaits those who seek peace.[d]
38 </

1 comment:

Pat said...

I'll be praying for you...I love you.