Something hasn't been right with me for a few weeks. I have kept seeking over and over Jesus. Finding crazy refuge in Him.
I've started to feel better now that I've been taking my GTA and medistim. But still... Something.
I've been asking God, what is that is keeping me from You.
Today I was singing "I am redeemed" and it says " all my life I have been called unworthy" and for a long time I felt that way. But the truth is (and it was literally revealed to me today!!) that is NOT true.
I was not called unworthy! I wasn't.
But I believed I was... Unworthy, not good enough.
My dad loved me soooo very much. Really he put me first my whole life. My cousins on my mom's side always loved me and spent weekends with me and loved me so much. My gram loved me, my aunts and uncles loved me. Maybe they didn't know how I needed to be loved but they LOVED me.
Where did this lie come from?
From the pit of hell.
At some point I, when I was young, I believed that if my momma loved me, she would have fought harder to stay.
Now, in my head, in this moment, that is the dumbest thing I ever heard! Or at least one of them.
The enemy made me believe me I wasn't worth fighting for.
But the truth is...
My momma loved me!!!
Se chose not to have treatment so that I would live!
My dad chose not to give me up for adoption (and he could have!). He chose to work at a job that maybe he didn't always like or made choices that maybe he didn't want to, because....
He loved me.
Because I am chosen.
God chose me.
I get it.
Maybe really to my core today.
I am chosen.
I have been so scared lately about the community center. Am I worthy? No.
But God is.
I wondered about this name for the community center. I kept thinking "This just doesn't seem that snazzy"
But the truth is it is perfect!
There are no children, moms, dads, cousins, grandmas, without hope. Everyone is able to be redeemed by God's amazing love and grace.
Every child is worth fighting for, and worth dying for. And Jesus did.
Every child should know they are loved.
Lies should be replaced by Truth.
No one is unworthy!
Chosen by Love