As someone who has been scared most of her life I will tell you that trust just does not come easy for me.
I guard my heart and act tough. Now if I had to, I'll tell you that I really could probably snap someone's neck if I had to, but I really really don't want to.
It's taken a lot of searching to really put my guard down and let people in, and even to let people take care of me. In the past I've always been the one who "took care of things" whatever that thing is. There were even times when I may have thought God wasn't moving fast enough and I'd defend myself or anyone else for that matter.
These days it's really different. I trust people in leadership, I really pray, and I've been known to just cry out to God and say "please take care of this, I just don't even know what to do".
It means that sometimes I ask for help with something or I might just call someone and say "can you please be here just in case?"
I used to think that was weakness. But I'm finding strength in my place. I don't feel like less of a leader because I ask for help or protection, really on the contrary, I feel like more of a leader, I'm finding my place with my gifts and letting others use theirs.
I find more peace and more comfort in knowing I'm cared for, I'm loved, and because of that, protected.
It is good.
And I am thankful.