I keep talking about how hard this past weekend was, but honestly this path month wasn't the easiest. It was full of painful reminders and I fought depression off with a very large bible, I did the things I knew to do, I focused on the things that I am thankful for and there are many. And October was a month where I said goodbye and let go of a lot of painful reminders. There were days when anxiety was high and I wanted so badly to put on my old protections and fight.
I trusted God.
I did the things that I knew to do. I talked things out with friends when I needed to. I went away with great friends and laughed and spent time with God.
I read my bible and did what it said.
There were days that I could have just run a muck, but I didnt. I stayed close, I leaned in, I didn't run away because I knew if I did, I have a further run back (let's face it, I'm lazy, I don't mind hard work but I don't want to do extra!)
And once again, His love never fails!
Yesterday I got some cool news that I probably wouldn't have gotten if I wouldn't have done what I know to do.
It reminded me of these verses:
Because of the Lord ’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. (Lamentations 3:22-26 NIV)
Joy will come.
And it gives me hope. I heard this song, I don't know at what point I fell in love with this song, but it's the kind of song I want someone to sing about me.
The man I love and the man that loves me and wants to spend the rest of our lives together.
I know that I want someone wonderful in my life but I will not settle for less than God's best for me.
It's worth the wait and it's worth doing the hard work to make myself who God wants me to be for my husband.
There is hope and joy in doing the right things.
Joy really does come in the morning...
Sometimes the night seems long and dark, but that moment when the sun rises and there is a beautiful sunrise, we remember, it really was worth it.