Sometimes I will tell you, I struggle to be like Jesus. When people are jerks to me, I want retaliate and sometimes I do… And I hate that about myself. As dorky as it sounds, I want to be like Jesus. I want to punch people, but I know that in a million ways that is not the way people will see Jesus.
When people are jerks to me, I want to yell, I want to get angry, and I used to do all those things, but sometimes I just can’t. I look at them, and all I do feel bad for them. I pray for them, but sometimes I just don’t want to. But this world is full of people who aren’t nice. And as dorky as this sounds, how will anyone know what Jesus really looks like if those of us who love Him don’t show what it looks like to have our lives surrendered to Him and His teachings.
I am going to Haiti in 50 days, and I am scared. I am going with people I don’t know, doing something I’ve never done before and I’m not in charge so I have no control over anything. That’s all difficult, and I’ve had so many times when God has said to me “let Me handle this”. Oh boy!
I love Jesus but sometimes I have to do (or don’t) things I really don’t want to do. But I am in it for the long haul. It means, I love people when they are jerks, I love people in chapstick, I do things that are hard, and sometimes when I want to watch tv, I read my bible. I am working on my heart when it comes food, I have to figure out how to walk this journey without being obsessed about it, but in a way that is in surrender to the One who made me.
So here I go… next part of the journey…
I know I can’t do this alone.