Paul says I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have everything you needed. I have always felt that I really related to that scripture.
We started out going to serve I don't even know how many, in our minds 50 but 100 showed up. More than 100 and I'll admit, I was stressing out about not having enough. I'm a feeder. Someone who feeds others, its not what I do, its who I am.
I've had days in my life when I've gone to bed hungry because there just wasn't enough. To hand the kids a scope full of rice and beans that I wouldn't have served as a side scoop wasn't enough for me.
To know that there are children in the mountains that are sick because they drink dirty water and some of them don't even have water is just not ok with me.
Have you ever had a sick child and I'm not talking about sick like a cold, I mean sick like chronic illness sick and you,can't make them well? You can do all you can but its not enough. It will never be enough. Well, I have.
I, at any point in my daughter's jra would have given my right arm to make her well. I did all I could. I had and still do have resources.
Resources are not,my issue, but after being up in the mountains, resources are the issue there is no work there is no food there is no water.
And yet I,feel I must do something.
I must not,be arrogant and think I can change this by myself. But to humble myself before a mighty God and just say "here I am, send me".
Can I make a call to get a well dug? Can I assemble a team to dig the well? Can I serve Jesus by working with another organization to serve the people in the village of this mountain.
I don't know what I can do, but I know I must do something.
I am not in a time in my life when I lack in resources, praise be to God. Heck, I'm not even at a time in my life when my friends are lacking in resources (oh yes, I'll be calling you lol). You see this isn't something I do because God says it in the bible and maybe for me that's how it started, I went because He said go, I give water and food because he said to, but for me this is,something planted so deeply in my heart that it is who I,am, Haiti is not a place I come to so that I can check off the box in my walk with Jesus, the card that seems right to play next, Haiti is a place that feels like home, a place when the bible says in Galatians 6 make the most of,every opportunity that I take that to the deepest parts of,my heart and let it be planted and grow into something to feed others, to give them Jesus to others.