rambling thoughts from my heart

Its 3:20 in the morning and I'm not even sure how I feel or why I'm awake for crying out loud I need to be up in two hours.
I posted my thoughts that I had written from the last few days and I posted them just as I typed them I didn't correct the grammar or the weird commas everywhere because this phone in working on is just different and not that easy to navigate.
Can I just tell you? Everytime I come here it seems harder and harder to,leave and this time is no different.  Its will probably come as no surprise to you that I'm absolutely a crying mess. My heart is split into two hundred pieces.
And I'm not sure what is next but I know this will be a time of preparation.
I know it means getting a lot of things in order. Its time to sow. Its time to listen, to be obedient, to be faithful. There will be a time of harvest but right but right now its a time of preparation, and that means keeping my heart turned toward Jesus. Listening and slowing down. I can't hear Jesus in the chaos.
What's next?
I'm not sure the calendar will tell me, and I might be telling the calendar to go bag it... God has a different plan for me...
I'm so scared and so excited about what's next. I'm pretty sure,God is going to knock my socks off and blow my mind... And break my heart.
Where You go I will follow, oh God send me!

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