I never would have known that my heart could be absolutely so broken and I could feel so loved at the same time. Things can feel so wrong and out of sync that I know I'm going home in two days but I want to stay. And all I can do is put my arms up to Him.
I don't feel like I have tue strength to go back to the way it was. Its hard to know what is next. Its hard to be in a place that seems perfect and go back to a place that seems crazy. To go from living love to planning ways for everyone else to live it out. I know that's where God has me but it,seems crazy.
I know that even though I never thought it,possible I know my life is one of a mizsionary wherever that leads me. To high school students, to coworkers to,family to soup kitchens, and the people of Haiti.
I am going to,miss the boys.
Do I start to,prepare to,leave, even if for a,few months or a half a year or year or a,lifetime.
WHAT IS IT YOU WANT ME TO DO GOD?!?!?!
I'm sure can read this and figure out im a crazy mess,and we haven't even left yet...