|This pic brought me so much||joy this morning|
I have to admit something to you… I’m totally overwhelmed. It’s at a point that I avoid people who are jerks or I smile and give them one of those “bless your heart” smiles. I hate when people do that, but I promise you if I said what I’d like to say, I’d make someone cry (and I have driven a grown man to tears once, not in a good way… It’s not a trait I like about myself, it’s a total protection). And I am so thankful for people like the Buckets who I can just sit with and chat with and relax with.
I walked into my house yesterday and thought that I really had no business ever buying a house. My gutter is literally hanging off the back of my house, and I’ve had people tell me they’d help me… but one person lives far and one person keeps promising, the other day with the rain, the water was leaking into my basement. UGH. I don’t have time to take care of it, and I don’t have the money either, and it makes me feel terrible about myself and THE THOUSANDS of things I am not good at. I seriously am welling up with tears. I am thankful for my home and have tried to make it as nice as I can, but the roof is in need of replacement, and thousands of other things need fixed, I don’t have the time nor the money for big things like the roof, and who wants to invest in something that is $50K undervalued. NOT. ME.
You want to know something… you know what’s a good problem to have… you’re pants are too big and fall down, EXCEPT that I am not going to spend money on clothes when I plan on losing more weight, let’s face it, my curves are a little too curvy (I’m not allowed to call myself fat or my friend Amanda and Katie might give me a lecture LOL). I literally have to hike my pants up and readjust them when I walk anywhere, and I can’t even THINK about jumping during worship or my shorts WILL fall off. I need to go to a thrift store or something. I need clothes, I feel like those boys that have pants on the ground. Yes, it’s a great problem to have, but it’s a little annoying.
I know my heart is out of whack when I start counting down until something is over. Oh that’s not good. Life was not meant to endure, and there is no joy in serving that way. I am praying and seeking God, in my seeking this morning....
This song, oh this song, I don’t even know how it happened, but it lifted my spirits like I can’t even describe.
I was in the Word this morning, John 21. And I was almost reduced to tears, I know this passage has nothing to do with the 100s of things I have going on but God about knocked me off my chair like only He can.
John 21:1-14Afterward Jesus appeared again to his disciples, by the Sea of Galilee.[a] It happened this way: 2 Simon Peter, Thomas (also known as Didymus[b]), Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together. 3 “I’m going out to fish,” Simon Peter told them, and they said, “We’ll go with you.” So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing.4 Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.
5 He called out to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?”
“No,” they answered.
6 He said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.” When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.
7 Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water. 8 The other disciples followed in the boat, towing the net full of fish, for they were not far from shore, about a hundred yards.[c] 9 When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread.
10 Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish you have just caught.” 11 So Simon Peter climbed back into the boat and dragged the net ashore. It was full of large fish, 153, but even with so many the net was not torn. 12 Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” None of the disciples dared ask him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord. 13 Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish. 14 This was now the third time Jesus appeared to his disciples after he was raised from the dead.
So here I am working on all this stuff, doing what I know to do… And sometimes I do the things that have worked for me 100 times, but sometimes Jesus just says, I know you know how to do it, but just do it a little different, trust me, and your nets will be overflowing, your harvest will be HUGE! Just listen, be obedient, and SPEND TIME WITH ME! And even though I do spend time with me, sometimes there are times that I need to spend more time with him, not as my friend and sometime I love, but with someone with is LORD over my life.
Being obedient and doing what He asks, isn’t always easy, but I feel like the more I am obedient, the more I see the benefits of following Jesus and doing it His way. I still sometimes struggle with doing it my way… but being obedient is way better for me and those around me.
Can I also tell you? I am so glad I have memorized scripture because God speaks through me, all morning you know what keeps rolling around in my head?
Gal 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Lesson for today (and everyday): don’t give up, do what I ask you to do… and do it my way.
Thank You Jesus for speaking to me like only You can.