Somewhere along the way, I’d forgotten how to dream. I forgot the changing the world doesn’t
happen with success by the world’s definition, it happens with each good choice
we make. It’s one decision that affects
someone else positively and causes a ripple effect. ~Kristen Welch, We are that Family
I sat across from him, listening to his dreams, this dear
sweet friend of mine. It was so exciting to hear about how his dreams were coming true.
I have felt so lost. I had been praying
about what was next and what the future holds for me, what do I do next, where
God wants me, what He wants me to do… and it happened. Right there.
I started crying. I wished so
much that I could have the faith to step out, but I was so scared. Not because I think I can’t do it, believe it
or not, I believe that I can do almost anything. I mean except for putting on a roof, I don’t think
I could do that.
The truth is I get lost in the every day. I get lost in
cheering people on, praying for others, making sure that others are taken care
of, I sometimes forget about me. I
forget that I matter. I have fought for
a long time to not be forgotten.
The truth really is that people remember me (at least I
hope!) because of those things, that I am always there, that I do always pray,
I do make sure that people have what they need. That is who God created me to
be.
But I am scared of what people think. I shouldn’t be because I don’t live my life
for what others think of me, I work really hard at serving Jesus, and that
means serving His people.
I love the city of Detroit, I mean my soul is at such peace
there. I love it. I know it’s dangerous, but my house was
broken into where I live now, and I’m learning that “hard drugs” are in my hood
too (did you know that heroin is the new marijuana? It’s cheap, and easily accessible – thanks for
legalizing marijuana, it drove up the cost – go figure).
I’ve been praying about the Youth Center that God has laid
so heavy on my heart, and God has given me some clear direction as the next
step.
Sell your house, move to Detroit.
Well, there you go.
I looked at my first house last night. What a cute house. In a horrible neighborhood. And my TPMS light (tire pressure monitoring
system) came on and I almost had a heart attack (thankfully no flat tire but I was
NOT in a place where I would have felt safe).
It was in a neighborhood that even 25-27 years ago I was not allowed
in. It kind of was disheartening, but I believe
it’s as important to know what I don’t want as I know what I do want. So I will keep looking.
The truth is I long for kids in the neighborhood to run past my house and maybe I hand them a cookie, or take a meal to my new neighbors, or just stand outside and practice my awful Spanish. I dream of a lot of things. I dream of going to a school and finding out what they need and maybe helping. I don't know but I won't stop dreaming.
There is much work to be done in a lot of things, but God is
faithful and I need to be too. I will
keep plugging along, establishing boundaries so I don’t do too much and I can
stay on the path God has called me to.
It’s not always easy not to veer off, especially because some of the things
I do are really good. And I must keep
dreaming, because God gives me those desires of the things He wants me to do,
and to keep dreaming, to keep changing the world, for His glory.
Sometimes we need all pep talk.
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