Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Crazy ramblings from a rested heart

It's been a quick trip up north. If you know me I'm not one who likes to drive a whole lot. Driven approximately 7 hours in about 30 hours is not necessarily my cup of tea.

But I will tell you. It was worth every minute of the drive every drop of gasoline.

When I come home from Haiti my heart, aches. This last trip was no different.  I love the country, the people, the craziness of degache (basically just go with it). 

I can be surrounded by people and feel completely lonely. I don't really get the time to unwind (which I'm trying to schedule in for my next trip). I come back from Haiti and hit the ground running, it's the way life is for me.  This weekend a friend from Haiti was supposed to come up to see buckley friends with me but unfortunately (for good reasons) he had to cancel and I almost cancelled too. I decided to come anyway. I was going to stay home but decided to come up anyway.

I was greeted when I got here by an overwhelming hug. One  my heart so desperately needed. And from then on it was time in the kitchen, lots of snacking, lots more hugs, relaxing (I was so relaxed I almost fell asleep talking), bonfires, talking about Haiti, talking about lots of things with people who are authentic and real. There isn't any trying to put on a show up here. They love me even though I'm not really a small town girl and I love them because they are. Life is simple up here, love God love people. (And I'm not saying that at home people don't love God and people I'm just describing here).

My heart needed to slow down more than I could have ever known. It needed to be surrounded by people who just love me for who God created me to be, loving, not thinking I'm great because I'm doing something for them.  

I had hoped that my quiet time driving would result in some answers in direction of where God wants me to serve. There has been some Crazy news that I found out about on my way here (I think my life may never be the same - I'm not sure how I didn't cry until after I got off the phone). Which resulted in some of my answers of where God wants me. I also feel like a lot of direction came  directly from God, yet still a lot of things that are unanswered.  Maybe I'll hear more direction on my way home. It's still going to be a month of quiet and seeking.  I feel like I'm in the dark about a lot of things but His light is my path and I will follow it with complete reliance on Him.

I'm thankful for the last 24 hours or so. More grateful than I ever thought I could be. In Haiti we often thanked God for simple things, today, I thank Him for this time and the privilege to love Him and His people. 

This passage blew me away yesterday. Open your heart and let it speak to you

As they were talking about these things, Jesus himself stood among them, and said to them, “Peace to you!” But they were startled and frightened and thought they saw a spirit. And he said to them, “Why are you troubled, and why do doubts arise in your hearts? See my hands and my feet, that it is I myself. Touch me, and see. For a spirit does not have flesh and bones as you see that I have.” And when he had said this, he showed them his hands and his feet. And while they still disbelieved for joy and were marveling, he said to them, “Have you anything here to eat?”

and he took it and ate before them. Then he said to them, “These are my words that I spoke to you while I was still with you, that everything written about me in the Law of Moses and the Prophets and the Psalms must be fulfilled.” Then he opened their minds to understand the Scriptures, and said to them, “Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer and on the third day rise from the dead, and that repentance and forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in his name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem.

And behold, I am sending the promise of my Father upon you. But stay in the city until you are clothed with power from on high.” (Luke 24:36-41, 43-47, 49 ESV)

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