Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Wednesday, July 02, 2014

My crazy heart

2 Cor 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

 Mission Trips are hard, there is no doubt about it. Coming home from a mission trip is harder (at least for me).  It’s “easy” to serve Jesus but getting back in the normal routine of things makes me a little crazy. While on the mission trip I am often busy which doesn’t really leave much room for feeling, and then when it’s over, I have all these feelings that come rushing through.

I am also really tired, mission trip hangover isn’t something to be fooled with and just like the normal kind of hangover, plenty of rest, water, and eating well is much needed.

This trip was the first of my summer series (HA!) and satan wasn’t just going to let me go without a fight.  I’ve had some really devastating things happen in my heart in the last couple days, and I’ve had some people who I didn’t really think even cared much about me really come to the plate, and then there are those who I have always known loved me – really just shine a light for my heart.
One thing that I’ve really learned is that when I am tired, it’s best to retreat.  It’s best to find people that I know, love, and trust, and settle in with them, I might seem a little nutty but I’ll just say it, I need you.  I hate to admit it but sometimes I just need to settle in for a minute, regroup in a safe place and those places are few and far between.  I don’t trust just anyone, and that list seems to be getting smaller by the day. In times like this, I learn more about accepting love than any other times in my life.  It’s a lot easier to give something (for me) than it is to accept it.  There are very few I trust to admit I am weak to but it’s all a growth process.

I’m also in the process of planning some fun things for the rest of my year.  The beginning of this year has been such a busy time of getting things done.  This weekend I will take some time to pack (I hope to get it all done so I can rest and prepare next week) but I am going to go walk by the water and just have some time to prepare my heart for the upcoming trip to Haiti.  

Please keep me in your prayers.  This girl has some choices to make and things to take care of.

~Life even with Jesus, is hard.  And life, especially with Jesus, is unfathomably beautiful. – Angela Nazworth

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