Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Saturday, September 27, 2014

It's all part of the territory

My heart is so heavy. It's sad.

They don't tell you when you start youth ministry that if you love the kids with all your heart that when you lose one it might feel like you're gonna die.

I've seen them walk away from God and my heart hurts, I've seen them come to Him for the first time and 16 times and each time my heart rejoices.

Last week one my kids passed away. He was one of my favorites.  Today was his memorial service. Ok I'll just come out and say it, while it was beautiful, and I know he's with Jesus, it sucked and it was hard, and at moments my heart felt like it was going to explode.  

I don't believe in fair. Fair is for sports leagues where everyone gets a trophy bull crap... And I don't know how but God will use this. "God is good, and He has a plan" -Isaac Perez 

I loved the kid, he reminded me of King David. He would wonder and make mistakes but he loved God. His life pointed people that way.  I want my life to point people to Jesus. 

You know Isaac, he taught me a lot. How to give grace and accept it. I love him. So much. My heart is sad because he isn't here to hug me or tell me what he did wrong to see if I'd still love him. He always knew I would. I'm so thankful for the few years I got to love him. And I'm sure my mom was in heaven waiting to hug him because I can't anymore. 

As much as my heart hurts so much right now, I wouldn't trade it for anything, because loving him, it was a joy, and an honor. 

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