And I love the studying and the listening to God. I love the time in prayer. I love that I'm not a giant stress ball all the time.
It's weird that my brain isn't always going 6000 mph (it still goes 1000 so don't be scared). It's weird to go to a store like target and get what's on my list.
After years and years of being like the energizer bunny it's kind of weird slowing down, I wonder if I'm doing enough but I know this is a time when I am to be still and trust that as God leads me, it is enough.
It's not always easy. But as I spend time with Him, I've spent most of my life being Martha, busy serving Jesus and sometimes I've served man instead Jesus. But now it's time, it's time to be Mary. Sometimes it seems uncomfortable because we sit and talk and pray about things that need to be changed, I'm healed from things I didn't even know hurt me. But it's been wonderful to spend quiet time and hear the whispers of God instead of the noise of the world.
I'm not sure how long I'll sit and I don't know what's next but I'll put my trust Him.
Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever. Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story— those he redeemed from the hand of the foe, those he gathered from the lands, from east and west, from north and south. Some wandered in desert wastelands, finding no way to a city where they could settle. They were hungry and thirsty, and their lives ebbed away. Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He led them by a straight way to a city where they could settle. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things. (Psalm 107:1-9 NIV)