Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Friday, October 03, 2014

Making decisions

Maybe you wondered what my big decision was.  (or maybe you didn't)

Well…  it probably isn’t as big of a decision as you might think.  I have purchased a ticket to go to Haiti in December.  A lot has changed in my life since I purchased that ticket.  And so I am trying to decide if that is where God wants me in December. I love Haiti and of course I would like to go, but Haiti is not a place I just vacation, so it takes much thought, much prayer, and much planning.  

People say “well you said you were going to go, shouldn’t you go?”

The answer is:  Maybe.

Well, really the answer is yes or no.

I’ve told a couple people and they only thing they have asked is “well what does God say?”

I can remember a time in my life when I would have asked EVERYONE’s opinion.  And then I’d weigh it.  it really sucked to be like that.  It’s much too much, thinking I might disappoint someone and quite frankly that is just too much for someone like me who is a people pleaser.  Much too much.  

Talk about a fruit stealer.  I stole my own fruit.  No one did that to me. I did it to myself.  

I hate that about me, or who I was. 

I am not sure what God has in store, I know that He seems to be shuffling the deck of my life, lately.   
And I can tell you as a self proclaimed busy person and change hater, I have found myself in the quietness of Him.  I have found myself embracing the change and feel like people think I am going to have a hard time, but I’m trusting in the One who loves me.  I find myself cleaning out, and letting go, finding the clutter, the things that matter most to me. I find as I discovering the things that God has created in me, and the things that it is time for me to let go of, things I have been holding on to for far too long.

I love the fact that God has refined me many times, and in the times of refining, I grow a little more each time. I find myself a little stronger, a little more joyful, and little more…  me.  Who God created me to be.

I love my new Fruit of the Spirit study, I am growing deeper in love with God, who He says He is, who He says I am.  I still don’t know if I am going to Haiti in December.  But I know that I will have confidence in whatever direction God has me going. 

He is with me.

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."  Isaiah 30:21

No comments: