Maybe you wondered what my big decision was. (or maybe you didn't)
Well… it probably isn’t as big of a decision as you might think. I have purchased a ticket to go to Haiti in December. A lot has changed in my life since I purchased that ticket. And so I am trying to decide if that is where God wants me in December. I love Haiti and of course I would like to go, but Haiti is not a place I just vacation, so it takes much thought, much prayer, and much planning.
People say “well you said you were going to go, shouldn’t you go?”
The answer is: Maybe.
Well, really the answer is yes or no.
I’ve told a couple people and they only thing they have asked is “well what does God say?”
I can remember a time in my life when I would have asked EVERYONE’s opinion. And then I’d weigh it. it really sucked to be like that. It’s much too much, thinking I might disappoint someone and quite frankly that is just too much for someone like me who is a people pleaser. Much too much.
Talk about a fruit stealer. I stole my own fruit. No one did that to me. I did it to myself.
I hate that about me, or who I was.
I am not sure what God has in store, I know that He seems to be shuffling the deck of my life, lately.
And I can tell you as a self proclaimed busy person and change hater, I have found myself in the quietness of Him. I have found myself embracing the change and feel like people think I am going to have a hard time, but I’m trusting in the One who loves me. I find myself cleaning out, and letting go, finding the clutter, the things that matter most to me. I find as I discovering the things that God has created in me, and the things that it is time for me to let go of, things I have been holding on to for far too long.
I love the fact that God has refined me many times, and in the times of refining, I grow a little more each time. I find myself a little stronger, a little more joyful, and little more… me. Who God created me to be.
I love my new Fruit of the Spirit study, I am growing deeper in love with God, who He says He is, who He says I am. I still don’t know if I am going to Haiti in December. But I know that I will have confidence in whatever direction God has me going.
He is with me.
Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." Isaiah 30:21