Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Sunday, November 30, 2014

Thankful for time!

Good Morning!  I am encouraged that I got to go to church today!  I always want to remember that it is an honor to worship Jesus in church! Its so great that we can choose!  It was an amazing service today, I keep asking God about where He wants me to go to church, I certainly am not a Sunday Christian and so the church I go to needs to be a outward giving church.

I posted earlier that I am in this season of kind of like winter.  I go to a counselor and to be honest she’s been guiding me towards this season for some time now.  I thought (hoped) it would last one month.  Let’s face it, sitting still is not fun for me.

After about a month I was like “ok, I’m done” ready for what was next but she said no “this will be like 5 to 6 months” and I will be honest that almost seemed like a death sentence.  

I was driving today thanking God for this time.  Honestly one month of slowing down was kind of like a drive by shooting.  I was still moving, albeit slower, I was just slowing down to get ready to rev up at any moment to take off as fast as I could.  But I am thankful for this time.  Because it made me slow down and ease up.

I have been taking this time to seek God.  Where do you want me Lord?  I have made some changes and it’s been hard to step back and have people who have said they loved me and cared about me to not say a word to me.  And I am not sad, I’ve actually found such a joy in knowing people love me for me, not what I do for them. It’s been nice in the seeking to find truth.

I’ve said good-bye to a church that I have attended for a long time. And I have had so many feelings about that.  Thinking about memories has stirred up a lot of feelings, some good some bad.  And getting to a place of joy took time.  And I leave with a heart of gratitude, and that took time.
I’ve come to a place of quiet and peace because I am not running around at 100mph (most of it in circles. I have a chance to process things, to feel and not react.  I have time to ask myself the questions I need to: 
Why am I really upset?
What am I afraid of? (usually when I am freaking out, I am afraid of something)
If I react, what good will come of it?
What can I do to make this situation better?

I am thankful for this time of growth.  I am thankful for this time to clean out and help others with my abundance and this helps me to get rid of all the things I have held on to “just in case”.  For me, “just in case” is sin because I’m holding on to things as if to say that I am not trusting God, like He won’t provide if I need it.  It been completely freeing, letting go of stuff. And I am thankful because it takes time.

Taking the time to reflect makes me thankful for whatever time I have left in this season for God to grow me. 
Thankful as I remain in Him.

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