Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Tuesday, December 02, 2014

Finding Him as I am "Looking for Emmanuel"

My Scarf Sister's Blog Posting Prompt this month is "Looking for Emmanuel"

My daughter is now 21 and a friend of mine said "I can't believe you still put up a tree"

The truth is for the last two years it has been quite a fight to get it up.  Last year I pretended to be happy and put one up but the month of December has always been ridiculous for me.  There were two weekends that I had 3 events on two different Saturdays, which makes me crazy because I feel like I want to be at aaallllll of it, which then stresses me out and makes me want to go to nnnoooonnnnneeeee of it.

This year is much different, it seems like my schedule is slower, and it seems weird, like I should throw in my own chaos or something but instead I will enjoy it and look for opportunities to serve.

My sister Sara posted she might only put up one tree instead of two, and this year, I am putting up two.  Now, before you think I'm crazy (which I may be) both my trees are little.  Kind of Charlie Brownish but I like them and one is in my living room and one is in my dining room that I can see from the kitchen (and it seems I am ALWAYS in the kitchen). 

While my schedule is slowing down, my daughter's is speeding up.  We usually put up the tree together, but for the next week or so, her schedule is crazy!  I was going to just decorate our trees myself because I am used to the "just get it done" way of life.  But I heard "slow down and enjoy it".  I heard it deep in my heart.  Wait for her.

You know how many times in her life I probably rushed her through, and said "come on, we've got lots to do", but now I know better.  Wait for her.  She's worth waiting for. We really enjoy putting up the tree together. There isn't an ornament that doesn't have meaning on our tree.  There is the one from the year "she got sick" when she was diagnosed with JRA (Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis), there are Barbies, and Winnies (the Pooh), and piglets (Piglet is her favorite), Hoops and YoYos (lots of giggles with those)... And no, my tree will not win Better Homes and Gardens Contests.

I look at every ornament and see the Hand of God all over our lives.    That little snowman "doctor" and how God was always faithful and took care of us, and healed her.  The baking ornaments and how I have loved baking and His provision in the things to bake with and the love that was given when we gave all those cookies away.  His Hand has been all over our lives, even when I didn't know He was holding on to us, and in those moments I was so desperate for Him I could barely stand on my own two feet.

I did put out this really old tattered manger scene that was my Gram's and I have a "better one" that is Precious Moments, but for some reason, this is the one that will be under my tree for viewing.

This year in the quiet of my house, in the light of two trees with no ornaments, and as I wait for Phyllis to decorate the tree, I will search for Him, listen for Him, and adore Him.


Jada's Gigi said...

Oh this is beautiful! Brought tears to my eyes! I too have been guilty of rushing through life but I am learning that things can be savored more with the the slow and quiet. My ornaments and decorations mostly have stories attached as well...reminders that He truly is with us always! Fabulous post!!

Deb said...

God with us. In every way. At every moment. Your tree, a reminder of all those times. May you be blessed this Christmas season dear Margie, as you hold close the sacred stillness of Emmanuel... love you! Great post.

Trish said...

This is perfection! I love you, sweet girl.