Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Stepping out

For most of my life as a Christian I served in a capacity that was "easy". Spaghetti dinners, organization, administrative stuff, loving teenagers, feeding people. Truly I have been blessed with some great gifts and I've embraced them with all I have. I have lived a life that has been beautiful. It may have been beautiful but it was easy.

You know what's not easy? When God asks me (tells me ) what's next. And it's something that's just something that I can't control.  First He asks me to leave my church but doesn't tell me where to go. I have to pray, listen, follow. And it wasn't easy. I "landed" at a church THAT I ALREADY KNEW and had been to, really, God? You couldn't have just made it easy and given me the plan? COME ON!!!
Then He tells me to start a community garden but He doesn't tell me where and didn't send a check to pay for the supplies. And sometimes I have to stuff a sock in the mouth of fear!
What if I don't raise the money? (I'm selling these tshirts )
What if I can't find a place?
What if no one helps me? I don't think I can do it on my own!
Water source? What if it doesn't rain?
What if the plants don't grow?

But God...

I always say "here I am, send me"

And He said "go"

So I'm going, stepping out in faith, wondering how it's gonna work out. Clearly i have no idea.

I feel like it's the year of obedience. 

Do things that are out of my comfort zone. (Yuck)
Lack of control

I often pray "dear God work in and through me"

It's a different kind of prayer, I want to become stronger in Him and have faith that's the size of a watermelon instead of a mustard seed. I want to become dependent on Him and stop walking around in my strength (which isn't much).

It's been quite a ride... But pretty awesome! 

Here I am... Send me!!!

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