Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Lessons in the back

Today I was at the prayer meeting at my church in the back.  All the way in the back. Last row. 

We had an incredible worship night and me, I couldn't seem to find the words. I'm always so thankful for music that gives my heart the words when it just can't seem to find them.  Honestly I opened the book of psalms and read.

What's wrong? I wondered. Things are good. 

I'm leaving for Haiti in 15 days, planning a trip to Denver for a mission trip in June, excited for 4 days in July with my church... Imagine no mission trip in August. Lol but I'm sure I'll be busy with the garden, so that's exciting!!

I was thinking about how my friends are moving to Lansing. And I can feel myself trying not to feel. That's the truth. It's overwhelming. They are leaving, sometimes it still seems so raw that Adam and Katie and the boys left. 

You know what I do when I get overwhelmed? I go to the back. I serve in the back, I stand in the back. I try to keep from feeling because that hurts sometimes. 

While I admit God has called me to serve in the back (but not kids ministry lol) we were created to be in relationship with people and so I have to remember and work on staying engaged and not focus on tasks because tasks are easy.

As I was thinking about all this, I was overwhelmed by grace. How thankful I am to have loved and been loved by such incredible people. To have had the privilege to serve Jesus with all of them. 

And pulling back keeps me from loving the way God intended. Openhearted.

Thankful for this night when I could be calm, find peace, in a place peace always resides. In Him. 

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