I leave in just 6 days. I’m a little nervous about the trip, standing at the front of the church this morning didn’t help LOL. I made Rachel hold my hand since I was so uncomfortable.
I was driving today, praying about my trip. I had just dropped off the food for the meal when I’m gone. Before you think I’m some saint (if you’re reading this you already know I’m not!) it was just hot dogs, buns, and baked beans.
I was praying that when I return that I’m empty. That all the love I have in my heart is poured out while I am gone. I was thanking God for so many people who filled my heart with a crazy love! People have donated to my trip, listened to my crazy, given me last minute donations when I needed capris for my trip, helped me pick up Little Dresses for Africa dresses, shorts, and sani-panties, people have prayed over me when I was nervous, they’ve prayed. So many different ways they have loved me! It has been really really amazing! I feel so… undeserving. But the truth is God loves me so much! I am His masterpiece. His workmanship and He never stops working in my heart or in my life, even when things are really hard. He’s stretching me, growing me. Molding me who He wants me to be.
I’m excited and nervous about the trip. There are some moments that I’m super excited about the trip. Today when our leader Victor said we are going to a refugee camp, I think I almost lept for joy! How exciting is that? I mean, I know most people would not be excited about that… but I am. I mostly can’t wait to just hug them and love them whatever that looks like. I don’t know. I don’t even know what to expect but I am excited for God to move.
I know that this is a trip of a lifetime. I know. I know that there will be great moments of hard, and great moments of beautiful. I know that it will be a beautiful collision. It is not easy for me to open my heart, because I know that there can be hurt in that but in that hurt, AND beauty, God does the most wonderful things.
And this is my prayer in the harvest, when favor and providence flow,
I know I’m filled to be emptied again, this seed I’ve received I will sow
~Desert Song by Hillsong United