Tree

I saw this tree. 

Do you remember back in the day when Barbara Walters asked Katherine Hepburn the very pressing question "if you were a tree what kind of tree would you be?"

Oh am I dating myself? Oh well, this side of the daisies is a good one. 

I feel like this tree.  
From one side it might look just fine, maybe it looks a little uneven but it looks fine. If you know me, and know me well, you'd take the time to walk around and see this really broken part. 

God is speaking to me, and I hear it.  And better than that I'm listening. 

This tree is beautiful.  You look at it and don't you just want to snuggle up under that tree? It's beautiful. It looks lush and looks as if it's fulfilling it's purpose. 



It is a dream of mine to sit under a tree and read a book.  Just relax.

The truth is I FEEL like this tree.  Like half of me can't get it together.  I can't remember a day that I haven't been in some kind of pain.  My knee almost always hurts, my hips pull and hurt EVERY day, and walking is hard, sitting is hard, it's all hard, but I never stop going, because I have convinced myself that I need to.  What will happen if I don't keep going?  So I do. The pain in my body has seeped into my heart.  It's painful some days.  Again, I have convinced myself that I must keep going, I must be there for everyone.  But I have drained myself.

In order to get a tree (and myself) the broken parts must be removed.  On a tree it's easy to see, in my heart, it's not that easy. But I will do the work to remove the broken pieces, God has equipped me with a tool belt so that I can do the work to get where I need to be.  And I will.

It means I will clear my calendar, and I will take the time to rest and do the work I need to do to be healthy. 

I can't wait to sit under that tree when we are both completely healthy.


Psalm 41:3 The Lord sustains them on their sickbed and restores them from their bed of illness.