I've been listening to this song for a few weeks now, but on serious repeat this week.
The truth is I'm struggling with a few things and the first thing I want to do is put up walls and keep people out, but the very thing that keeps people out, also keeps me in and separated from those I love. I've been working on this and as soon as I feel the heaviness of that wall, I put it down, and think about why I am putting up the wall and really dive into what I am afraid of.
Life behind walls is no way to live.
As a group I'm in they asked (thanks Mike O'Neill and Nicole Tromble for leading this group):
Do you have anything in your life you are hiding, something you are ashamed of?
Are you ready to invite God into that?
Are you ready to deal with it or do you honestly not want to do down that road (yet)?
I've been thinking about it all week. I've been looking at the things I need to change and making changes.
One thing I've got to work on is clutter. This week I tackled my room, my closets and I've got a bunch of stuff to donate (and I threw out some stuff too that wasn't worthy of donation). "Stuff" just gets in the way and it needs to go. It comes from times of not having much so I over compensate because I couldn't buy it before but now I can. I'm working on becoming a "reformed spender".
I'm also working on feeling and letting my feelings be known and not being afraid to share them. Though I think I will also hold back if I live afraid I am going to lose out on all God has to offer.
I am leaning on God to be my defender and protector. I will be wise, but instead of living in my own strength and my own barriers, I am going to ask God to be those things for me.
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