Joy in NOT traveling


Ive had planned that I was going to Philly and Maryland and Delaware this weekend.  Ive wanted to go to Philly since I saw… Creed.  Don’t judge me.

I booked my ticket ($56) not even knowing if I was going to be able to go with all that is going on with my dad.  To be honest, I need to get away.  So…  I booked it.  I get a little crazy if I’m not trippy.

I started watching the weather and it looked like A.LOT.OF.RAIN.  I decided that I would forego my trip, forfeit my $56 but not spend $500 between hotel and car (that doesn’t include starbucks cups and food. 

I did my normal every other week gig and spent time with Jenny while she did my nails and we drank tea together. 

I had to run to Kroger to get chicken for serving at Roosevelt Park and I needed some kool aid (juice). 

It was kind of a stressful morning trying to get the food prepared and I wasn’t feeling much joy about serving (which is very unlike me) so I left to head to the train station and I was supposed to pick up Ernie but I was running out of time so I called Ernie and said “sorry man, can’t come get you” and I felt like a jerk.  Somehow (it only takes 20 minutes to get there) I made up 5 minutes so I was able to call him back.  Let me tell you, by “somehow” I mean I was driving like a bat out of hell.  I did pray on my way “God, you’ve had this day planned, please give me joy”.  That’s it. Turned on Stevie Wonder’s “as” and drove (crazy)

I picked up Ernie and we chatted (really I rambled on) we got there and I started to feel “at ease”. This is not a regular gig for me (only 4-5 times a year) so I always want to make sure I follow their ministry guidelines.  I rolled plasticware, chatted, met Claude and had a good day.  Mostly everyone else did the work (HA!) my back was hurting a little and I was trying not to push it.

So…  here’s where God really showed up for me. Ernie used to sleep in Roosevelt Park. Karen (it’s her ministry) fed him and loved him.  He looked over at me and asked if I thought she’d remember him.  I said “I don’t know” I had no idea. Outside of kids in my ministry, I only sometimes remember those I serve (what an A-hole I am – I KNOW – makes me want to barf thinking about it).  So he asked her.

I wish I had my phone and I could have recorded it.  It was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen in my life.  He smiled. She smiled.  She looked at him, really really looked at him, through the eyes of love, and I watched her face light up, she said yes.  Let me tell you. 

If I can be like anyone when I grow up.  I want to be like Karen.  She doesn’t just say that people matter to her, she means it. She LIVES it.   They talked for awhile and I was just watched them. It was the most beautiful thing. They talked about the old days and she beemed with how proud she was of him that he serves at MBK. And he did too. He’s come a long way from sleeping in the tent at Roosevelt Park. 

Ernie is my friend, and I am so thankful for him.  I’m so thankful for God for joining our hearts in serving the ones that the world forgets.   I’m so proud to be his friend. Ernie is also the only person I know brave enough to point out any mistakes I make when cooking (he's lucky I love him)

As hard as this season is, and as much as I wanted to get away, I am so thankful that God let me choose to stay here to find joy in the tough days.  He gave me the most beautiful view of what my heart could be, if I open it. 

I want to be Karen when I grow up.  I want to look at people, and know them, and love them.  Really know them and love them, not just feed them a couple times a month. 

I want to live heart wide open. 

That’s what I want to be when I grow up.

1 John 3:18-24 Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.
19 By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; 20 for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. 21 Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; 22 and whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. 23 And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. 24 Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God,[a] and God[b] in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us.

Comments

Jada's Gigi said…
What I see here is the value of embracing the day God had planned for you. This is where joy is found!