I feel under utilized. And that is not ok with me.
I drove past an old building that my kids did a mission trip. We painted so many rooms. I remember researching what colors were best for healing and then getting the paint and the supplies so our mission trip could happen.
I was looking through some stuff and found two old cards the adults/kids wrote in and i started to cry. I know how imperfect i am but i know that God used me in such a way. I cooked, i cleaned, i laughed, i cried (and probably i yelled lol). That was hard work but it mattered. I utilized every minute of my life.
And to be honest i feel under utilized. I don’t need to be needed, i need to be used by God.
As i looked at that old building falling apart, i was so sad. I wondered if what we did was for nothing. But it wasn’t. We (the kids) lived out their faith in truth and action instead of just words.
I long for that.
The truth is they did all the projects, i just organized them, made sure they had the stuff they needed, and i made sure they ate, slept, and drank.
My kids were true heroes of the faith.
Something is next. I don’t know what it but it needs to be something that uses my talents and treasures.
I’ve never really been a really "cool" youth leader. I’m just a mom, who does funny mom things, makes sure projects are planned out and makes sure you have what you need, and makes sure you eat.
I just want God to use me, i want To
Look back on these days and know i used all that He has given me.
Dear God, here i am. Send me.
Whatever, wherever, whenever.
Comments