I can honestly tell you I don’t have that many regrets but
there is one thing… My trip to the
refugee camp in Uganda.
I will never forget that day. It was the one thing I looked the most
forward to when I was planning our trip to Uganda. Also the one thing I was most afraid of
because I knew how hard it would be to see and not “fix it”.
We went to a refugee camp that held 100,000 people laid out
by area that the beautiful people were seeking refuge. We were able to serve and love about 1000 of
them. The kids just kept coming and
coming. I sat and portioned out Maize
for them to eat and we provided dresses, shorts, and sani-panties you can read
about it here à https://christdrivenmom.blogspot.com/2017/06/his-provision.html
I can tell you that I saw God provide and provide.
And with each person, while everyone saw joy, I was so sad
and stressed that someone would be turned away.
I kept remembering a story by a former pastor that said he was giving
out candy in Peru (I think) and he said just don’t look down and keep throwing! And they never ran out. I set up the dresses/shorts/sanipanities and I
never looked back. I just kept saying “fishes
and loaves God, fishes and loaves”. At
some point though, I actually had to turn off my feelings and go into “task
mode” I thought my heart was going to
break wide open.
If I had the chance to do it all over again, I’d let my
heart break and see what God would do with that heartbreak.
It’s one of the few things I regret in my life.
I know that God is the redeemer of all things, so I hope and
pray that some day whether it’s in Uganda or somewhere else, that God gives me
the chance to feel all the feelings.
I know it seems weird that I would want to be exposed to
that kind of hurt but I’ll never know what God will do with it, if I don’t
allow it. I heard this song yesterday,
and I remembered that time. Clearly
something was not settled in my heart.
I wonder what God is going to do with all this…
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