There aren't too many things that conflict with me. I am mostly one or the other... There is one thing that often conflicts in my life.
Taking care of others vs Taking care of myself
As someone who did not always have their needs met, I understand struggle. So the pain that I have felt is not something i want others to feel. It feels awful to feel alone or needy. I never want anyone to feel that way.
Always wanting to make sure that everyone is taken care of is a beautiful love of the heart however, sometimes taking care of others means I don't take as good a care of myself as I should.
It is something that I am often conflicted with, do I take care of myself or others. I sometimes don't have anything left in the tank to take care of others and myself. I've had to learn to sometimes put myself first. I have a hard time to say no to others to say yes to me, there are a lot of reasons.
I am starting to learn there doesn't have to be a choice, I can live a life of balance so that I can do both. I can take care of myself and take care of others. Neither one is more important.
Take care of others is very rewarding and brings me joy, but I have to make sure I am doing it for the right reasons, I have to make sure it comes from a place of genuine-ness not a place of people pleasing. It's important for me to give straight from the heart not a place of hurt.
I'm learning and it's hard, and sometimes it really hurts, but I'm learning and loving. Both others, and myself.
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