25 years goes by in an instant


 What can I say when i have all the words and yet part of me wants to keep them, and the feelings associated with them, tucked deep inside.

I can remember the smell of the hospital room, being snuggled up with my baby girl, waiting for test results. 

I remember the face of the doctor, his thick brown mustache as he mouthed the words "juvenile rheumatoid arthritis"

I can remember the hot tears as i sat there wondering what the fuck can i do about this. I remember hearing "there is no cure"

I remember.


I remember countless days and endless prayers. 

I remember having to give my girl shots that i knew would make her sick. 

I remember arguments with the doctors 

And endless physical therapy bills

I remember prescriptions that were more than i made in a week

I remember the looks people would give her as she was a 9 year old still in a stroller

I remember her gait as she walked when her joints ached

I remember


I remember managers who were so loving and understanding when i had doctor appointments 

I remember people who came along side us and helped me carry the burden

I remember the strength of my girl as she walked in pain

I remember the day the medicine was covered by insurance 

I remember when she was in remission 

I remember how strong and brave we both had to be 

I remember 

Yea 

There aren't too many things i will ever forget about the trials of JRA. 

A lot can happen in 25 years. 

More than i could have ever imagined. 

The child she was then to the woman she is now. 


I don't know how we did it.


Grace and love, I guess. 


25 years.


Till the end of time. Plus one 

Comments

Alice said…
The worst thing in the world is watching your child in pain. God bless you and your daughter.