Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Long Way

Do you remember that post Sara did about not fitting in? I feel like that all the time. It’s like she said, you can tell me… blah blah, it doesn’t change the way I feel, one bit.

As a child, I never felt good enough. I wasn’t like anyone I knew. NO ONE I knew didn’t have a mom. No one I knew cooked and cleaned. They all seemed to have way more clothes than me… no one had a boat either. I could go on and on…

I had to move to Lincoln Park. Trust me, by no means was this my choice. My poor dad. I was such a snot. Again, I didn’t fit in. Truth be told (I love that saying!) I didn’t want to fit in. I wanted to go back “home”. LP people were weird, because Dearborn was COMPLETELY diversified. Moving to Lincoln Park was reverse culture shock.

As I have grown, it seems to me that I don’t fit in. I didn’t get married, then have kids. I had a kid and am still not married. I work in a place where they need Jesus more than they know, and I think they know He’s there just waiting but they are too busy to see His face.

I went to a church that accepted me for all my yuckiness, but I never felt like I fit in there either. They love me, but it’s time to go somewhere else. I am not sure where I am going to fit in there, I know I am called to serve, and God has great plans for me, even when I don’t think I fit in. I know that my weird shaped puzzle piece will be placed in the right spot.

I wasn’t lucky enough to know of God’s grace growing up, I have experienced it, I just didn’t know what it was. I made a lot of mistakes before I came to Jesus.

I was watching “Storytellers” on VH1 with the Dixie Chicks. They opened with a song I had never heard before. “Taking the Long Way Around”. It reminded me kind of myself, I take the long way around, God keeps trying to teach me the same lesson, but He has to keep trying over and over until I take the long way around and get it.

I’m so very thankful He never gives up on me.

Hebrews 13:5 …God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you”

Deut 31:6 6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."


Mrs. Mac said...

In some ways it's OK not to fit in; ie not to fit into the world's schemes. The important thing is to fit into the palm of His hand. Somdays you may be hanging on to his little finger for a wild ride, but you still are exactly where you should be (in Christ). That's all that truly matters when all else is stripped away. At the end of the ages, you will one day see the complete puzzle; I bet your "odd" shaped piece fits perfectly in His palm ... or the center of His heart!

dawnaj1958 said...

Three marriages and still about not fitting in. But I, like you know without a doubt He never gives up on me, nor does He give me more than I can handle. Still sometimes I wish He would have just a little less confidence in my ability to handle adversity....We're all sisters tied together for special reasons..let's be odd together. (and Mrs. Mac I love your analogy to a puzzle. Perfect)

Birmingham Girl said...

I couldn't say it more beautifully than Mrs. Mac ~ except that you are one of the most beautiful of the puzzle pieces.