Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Saturday, November 29, 2008


It's not anyone's fault that I often don't feel special. It seems like it's always been this way. Not pretty enough, not smart enough, not sweet enough, not good enough (and there's a long list of things I am "too much" of).

We left Friday morning to go to Grace Centers of Hope, we seriously had NO room left for one more thing in the cars! The students worked in the kitchen, thrift store, cleaned up Seneca Street, mopped floors, swept, cleaned the church. They are amazing.

I started to feel today that I didn't really do much. Sure, I planned the trip, however, my butt did not travel outside of the area that we stayed in. I was busy, I cooked, planned, and cleaned. I was just kind of thinking I could have done more and God simply said, "you did as you were supposed to". Funny. Here I was thinking "I suck" and God's words were simple and quiet.

We started "encouragement" bags on the last mission trip. People can put little notes or scripture in each person's bags. The students really love them, and I have to admit, I love them too. This time, I decided that I would cut out letters on my cricket and glue them on. I made each name with a different color for each letter. I got quite a few notes, I loved each one. One was simple. One of the girls, Amber, drew a picture of the cross and a little word blurb that said "I loved you before you knew me". Hmmm... then I started thinking that in all the foolishness of not feeling special, the cross speaks to us the most important truths. I'm often blown away by how if I were the only one, Jesus would have paid the price. Just for me. That my gifts, though quiet, and usually steady, are just that, gifts. That the gift of loving teenagers and serving them, so they can serve others, is very important. And it does bring glory to God.

Jer 1:5 5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew [a] you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

Friday, November 28, 2008

I got so busy yesterday... I forgot to blog!


Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I still love them enough

Yesterday I was told that when I correct someone I "have bad delivery".

Here's the thing. When I took on the position of being a mom or some kind of leader in a child's life, I did not take on the role of friend. Kids have enough friends, honestly, I think kids need more parenting and less friends.

Sure life for us wasn't easy. We were told "no" without a reason, and as you grow up, you realize why. If you just put that in small perspective of how God reveals things to us, its rarely HUGE, it's like Monet. A small portion of a big picture to learn. We're not always ready for the why. It's a long time of learning. That's how it is (in a lesser scale) of being a parent. I don't always have to tell you why. Sometimes I will, but it's not a requirement.

It's called boundaries. Sometimes you feel like you're stuck in a box, but really staying in a safe box out of trouble is a good thing. You'll soon realize that when you stick your head out of the box, it's likely to have something bad happen to it. Maybe not, but there's a good chance.

So this is what I say... I love them enough to correct them. And I will always try to work on my delivery, but in the end, their well being and safety are my priority. Hopefully, God willing, they will learn their lessons, in the correct timing.

Micah 7:11 The day for building your walls will come, the day for extending your boundaries.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I love them enough

Life is not easy when you are a teenager. That is for sure.

There are kids that are "easy" to love.

And then there are the ones that it takes a little more.

For millions of different reasons. Some are hyper, some are smelly, some are broken, some are loud, some are dramatic.

It doesn't matter to me. I love them enough to be myself with them. To get on them when they need it, to hug them when they need it, to tell them "you need to shower and get some deoderant" when they need it. And I love them enough to not walk away.
A lot of people (kids) I know don't understand what it feels like to feel like you're not loved. Sometimes you can be the most loved kid in the world, but they don't feel like it. And sometimes you're not the most loved kid in the world. And no matter what, it sucks.

I can go on and on about media and how 'it' is ruining people. It's ruining people (and teens) because we let it. One thing I've learned since working in Metro Youth Ministries is that it will only ruin us if we let it, and this sounds horrible, but we can use it to our benefit. I use myspace and facebook to connect with kids, because they like it, and I can send them a message today telling them I love them and I'm thinking about them, today, and they get it today. I can tell parents about events that are coming up. I can communicate with literally 100 people about 1 thing instead of making 100 phone calls.

I love kids enough to make it work, no matter how I have to do it, whether it's a hug or a myspace message, and no matter how tired I am or frustrated, I love them enough, not to walk out of their lives.

And I am so thankful that God has loved me enough to put people in my lives when I needed them and to never walk away.

Deut 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Monday, November 24, 2008

Comin' Together

Yesterday a bunch of the youth groups in the Trenton area met at Trenton High School to worship God together. We did an old fashioned food drive and I kid you not we filled the high school auditorim stage from end to end 2-3 feet deep! The goal was to help out 6 or 7 local food pantries (one told us they were set for the holidays, they were so thankful!) and to unite the children under 1 body of Christ. Apparently some of them were working against each other instead of with each other... ugh. As adults, we do that too. I don't know how many students were there, but it was A LOT.

Because of doing things a little differently, I was in the back, behind the stage doing words, no one could see me. We do this one song, Break Free. I was dancing like crazy back there, I'm not usually like that, so something, the Holy Spirit maybe, just took over, it was nuts and awesome all at the same time.

I LOVE YOUTH MINISTRY! I thank God that He has called me to serve Him in this way!


Eph 4:1-5
1As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— 5one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

Would you believe me would you listen if i told you that
There is a love that makes a way, it'll never hold you back
So won't you break free won't you break free
Get up and dance in His love
So won't you break free won't you break free
Get up and dance in His love

Who would have thought that God would give His One and Only Son
Taking a stand upon the cross to show His perfect love
So won't you break free won't you break free
Get up and dance in His love
So won't you break free won't you break free
Get up and dance in His love
His love never ending

There's no escaping the truth
There's no mistaking it's You
God forever we'll
Get up and dance,
Get up and dance
And praise You

There's no escaping Your light
There's no mistaking Your love
Across the world we will
Get up and dance
Get up and dance and praise You

Now is the time to take this freedom that has come our way
Offer our lives to see the glory of His name
So won't you break free
won't you break free
Get up and dance in his love
won't you break free
won't you break free
Get up and dance in His love
His love never ending

Living all our days
We are holding on holding on
To all Your ways
We are holding on holding on
To all You say and You've done
We are holding on to Your love

Now we will...

So won't you break free
Won't you break free
Get up and dance
Wont you break free

His love never ending

Saturday, November 22, 2008

oh the blessings from God...

1. Phyllis sang last night at the Wyandotte Tree Lighting! It was bitter BITTER cold, but how thankful I was that I had a warm car and then a warm house to go back to.
2. Wanted to go out to eat, said "the banks are closed, i hope I have money in my purse" switched to my favorite red jacket, stuck my hands in my pockets, found $13.

3. Went to pick up my angel food ministries food. What a blessing! what we didn't want/need, I passed on to my friend! Blessing for both of us! And she picked me up so that was even better because I love her company!

4. Went to a new thrift store, a treasure of my friend Amanda's, and got so much stuff, including the coolest eisel for Phyllis since she is in love with art! A Little Tikes work bench for my friend's son, a book Phyllis wanted, a European guidebook with some stuff about Austria, toys for 'the girls' when I watch them on Wednesdays, and A LOT MORE!!

5. Hopefully the tree will go up by tomorrow

6. One of my sponsor letters returned fruitful. May God bless the sender of the fruitfulness OVER AND OVER!! May the obundance never cease!

7. Phyllis got her Subi beads in the mail, she'll be raising money for Light Gives Heat and helping women and children on the other side of the world. I love that she wants to help/serve His kingdom. I know a lot of people already have them, but if you want them, she has them!

8. Mini-Mission trip is in less than a week!

9. 9 days off in a row! WOO HOO!!!

10. I give my core groups things to read, since my dinner with Sara, I've been convicted to guide them to read the Old Testament, and read it myself.

11. I have been praying God send me a mentor, and then after leaving dinner with Sara, He gave me one before I asked.

Psalms 128:2 You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Old and New

So God loves us, that's a hugemungous thing. But I have a thought rolling around in this vast empty space I call my head. (thanks sara! )

Are churches producing people who only know the love of God but not the 'fearful' part of Him? Are we living (and teaching) so much about grace that we skip right over the expectations of God? And are we doing them (and ourselves) an injustice? I think we are.

And by this I mean... we (meaning I) tell so many people when they get their first bible, 'read Romans, the gospels, James'. Really I tell them because they are really the easiest to read and understand and because of what Jesus did, we can now have a relationship with a very big God. Easy no, relationship, yes. But God's story and how He worked in people's lives starts in the very beginning, even before there really was a beginning.

I personally miss a lot of stories because I've spent the beginning of my following Christ trying to grasp 'grace' which in my opinion I'll (and probably not you either) never get. It's too big and my feeble mind is just not that good. I just finished a book called '200 Pomegrantes and an audience of 1'. Fabulouso book. You know why I read it? The real reason... I just ate a pomegrante for the first time this summer and I am intrigued by their greatness and I read someone's else's blog that read it. Ok. that's it. The book didn't change my life, God is doing that, but it was eye opening, especially to the fact that there are a lot of great life changing things that God has done that I have missed out on because I didn't start from the beginning.

Life is not easy. I will never tell you that it is.

Is there hope in Jesus and the burdens that He took on for us? Absolutely.
Does our hope, our trust, our lives, and our love need to be in Jesus? You bet.
Do I think there is more than that? AMEN!

But if you want to know what real suffering is... start from the beginning. I don't think I'm done on this subject, I can't wait to find out what God has for me to learn.

Gen 1:1 1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

Now that's a big God.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Soles for souls - SHOES!!

I know... I already posted this morning... but you have got to check this out!!

This organization gives shoes away! And you can help!!

Donate $5 and you can give 2 (yes that's right 2!) pairs of shoes to someone in need! In our area that's the cost of a footlong sub at Subway, that's less than a 'youpick2' at Panera.

Also, you can win a chance to go to Mexico to deliver the shoes. Now... how cool would that be...

Check it out for yourself!

now... go love someone! even if it's not them... just go love someone!
Matthew 25:31-46
31"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'
41"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.' 44"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'
45"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'
46"Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

This week and next...

Next week we are off. 3 days mandatory vacation, 2 days holiday. Some people were a little torqued off that it was mandartory vacation. Not me. I made a list of how great I thought it was going to be and what I would do!

I like my job. I thought I wanted to be a teacher, but God had a different plan. I really like what I do, I love kids too, but I think I am better suited for this, plus, I spend my time with kids helping them to love Jesus. I got the best of it all if you ask me!

I'm excited about our time off, there's only one thing... when we have time off, a lot of preparation for that week of unproductiveness at work must occur. There is a lot of fore thought into being gone. I'm sure it's like that for everyone. This week, its been crazier than a normal time off. Holy Moly. We had an issue that everyone (except me) new about for A YEAR, I found out last Wednesday and of course it was "hurry up and fix it" ugh. (yeah, in my spare time). It's all taken care of. Shew! That was close. That's just the way it goes. I will probably check my email while I am gone, follow up on a few things, but for the most part, I will spend the time following the plan of my list :)

Thank You Jesus for the job I have! Thank You Jesus for the time off!

Ruth 2:7 She said, 'Please let me glean and gather among the sheaves behind the harvesters.' She went into the field and has worked steadily from morning till now, except for a short rest in the shelter."

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Repeat Performance

I was listening to the radio this morning... and then the music started. I felt like I was back at the Detroit Opera house! Carmina!!!

Last February Phyllis sang with the Detroit Civic Symphony Orchestra. They performed Carmina Burana! I was so excited! I knew what it was before the announcer guy said 'Carmina Burana'. I immediatly called Phyllis 'do you want to go?' I don't know how I would have afforded it, but I thought she might want to see it. "No". well, that's solved :)

I can't really tell you in words how my heart felt when I heard the music.

It sounds kind of silly, but I know of God's grace when I look at Phyllis. I know what I've done in my life, and I know how awesome she is, and what love and joy she brings to my life. I remember watching her sing from WWWAAAYYY up in the balcony at the opera house, and I remember feeling like she was the only one on stage... "OOO FFOORRRTUNA!"

We spent this evening together, we lead very busy lives and any time when it's just the two of us, is such a blessing. We laugh. And laugh. And we're silly. And apparently the guy at Panera thought I might embarrass her, and I just told him "she knows I love her, and she's happy with that". He just replied "that's cool". The woman in Hallmark, she apparently does not appreciate our sense of humor. Ah. what does she know.

I'm so blessed.

Luke 2:40 And the child grew and became strong; he was filled with wisdom, and the grace of God was upon him.

This is one of the movements ... o fortuna!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Break my heart for what breaks Yours...

There's a song we sing at Alive. Hosanna. It's kind of wierd because it took me awhile to get over the fact that we sang "Hosanna in the Highest" in church when I was younger. I have issues with being Catholic, or once being Catholic. Let me say that I know people who are Catholic who know the bible better than me (who are not nuns or priest or clergy or some sort), I just know that in MY experience, it was a lot of rituals with not a lot of explanation, and it was (FOR ME!) religion not relationship.

There is a line in the song by Hillsong United "Hosanna" that says "break my heart for what breaks Yours".

I feel like sometimes my heart has all these little cracks in it, not always because of me, but because I love so much that my heart breaks for other people.

Someone I knew from quite awhile ago that was at Grace Centers of Hope, that left, overdosed not that long ago. He had a daughter just a year or two older than Phyllis. {{crack}}

Kids who have parents that don't take care of them {{crack}}

People who can't seem to put Jesus first and try to fill their lives with guys/girls, sex, partying, work {{crack}}

And my list could go on and on...

However today, it was a girl that my daughter's been talking about from school. I'll leave that all for you to pray about because God knows her story, and pray that my daughter is BRAVE AND BOLD and reaches out to the girl because she wants to but she's nervous. She said today "mom, she doesn't have a mom, I don't know what happened, but I now I really want her to meet you" and I was kind of taken aback. And I instantly was brought to the song "break my heart for what breaks Yours". I can hear Katie saying "Hosanna" is translated to "God save us" when she speaks before we worship to that song. And I think God help these girls, help me to help them. God, help me to be Jesus to them on earth, God, help me to be loving and have the words God. I know that You gave me this love, Your love, God to love on people. No pity just love. God save us, God help us, God save me, God help me! to be more like You God. God break my heart for what breaks Yours...

I am not really sure exactly what my role is going to be in her life, but I only want to be one thing. Love.

John 13:35 By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

Hosanna by Hillsong United

I see the king of glory
Coming on the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes
The whole earth shakes


I see his love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing
The people sing

Hosanna in the highest

I see a generation
Rising up to take their place
With selfless faith
With selfless faith

I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees
We're on our knees

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from nothing to

Hosanna in the highest

Sunday, November 16, 2008

I'll fight for this gennnerraatttioonnn... our hearts will pour into lives

When I think of all the things I love... I think I love serving Jesus in Youth Ministry most.

I do a lot of things wrong, and thank God for grace, where I screw up, He smooths over.

I do a lot of things right too though. I depend on His wisdom and His love A LOT. I am thankful for this awesome calling on my life. I'm glad that even at the end of a very long tiring day, I can honestly say that I was lead to the cross, and that's where I ended up.

Matthew 16:24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.

Saturday, November 15, 2008


If I have one thing... I want to make God smile. If I do nothing else, that's what I want to do. I want Him to say "well, done". And I believe that if I live my life doing that, everything else will fall into place. I'll be a better mom, daughter, cousin, friend, youth leader, employee. I think that if I live my life to be God honoring it might not always be easy because my flesh can be a little overpowering if I don't reach for Strength but it's worth it.

I think if I take that Basic Instruction Before Leaving Earth (bible) that God gave us, it will not only make my life more clear, it will make it clear to those around me there is only one way to live... For Him. In Love.

1 Cor 8:6 yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live

Your name High

Your innocence forsaken
Upon that cross
You gave Yourself for us
Carried into Your freedom

Our broken past replaced in
A second chance
The chains have come undone
Death defied in the Father’s love

We are,
Living to make Your Name high
Living to make Your Name high
Jesus You,
Gave what the world couldn’t offer us
Say what they want, Say what they want
We are free

The atmosphere is changing,
Oh can You hear
The people rising up
In the hope of Your freedom

Our former ways are breaking
We seek Your face,
God let Your kingdom come
In our praises be lifted up

With eyes on high we praise You
And with one voice we come together
Our one desire to praise You
And lift You up in our surrender

With eyes on high we praise You
And with one voice we come together
Our one desire to praise You
And lift You up ‘cause we are

Desert Song

Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

Friday, November 14, 2008

On being frugal...

I only own two pairs of dress black shoes, and had they not been $50 shoes that I got on clearance for $8, I would only own one. Believe it or not, I don't even have brown dress shoes, because I don't own brown dress pants...

I was raised that you buy it when you need it. I own 2 pairs of "tennies" only because I needed 2 pair for the breast cancer walk. 1 pair of brown boots, one pair of black. One pair of black sandals, one pair of fancy flip flops, one pair of cheap ones. Really, I think that's it.

I love my black shoes, they are no where near being worn out... except the heals. I wore out the little rubber thing on both pairs... however, ever heard of shoe repair? I have! Spent $10 to get the little rubber things put on. Kind of funny since I only paid $8 for the shoes but still... it was worth the money!

Proverbs 13:11 Dishonest money dwindles away, but he who gathers money little by little makes it grow

One more thing... Please pray for Stacy's daughter Alexa, she's in children's hospital in Detroit for HSP. The blood is leaking out of her vessels & capillaries!! Pray for Alexa, mom, doctor's nurses, HEALING!!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Biggest Nerd Award

Is it wierd that I want to learn to knit?

I want to make Prayer Shawls... my old church used to have this ministry.... I thought it was soo cool... however, at the time, I had no desire to learn to knit... until now.

My cousin has breast cancer. She starts her treatments today. Breast cancer is sca-wie... maybe it's scary to everyone but no matter how much science has taken us, it still makes me concerned because in my experience (very first hand) people die. Ugh. I hate that. I don't know what to do except pray and offer to clean...

And then I thought of my 'scarf' sisters. I thought it would be great for my cousin to have a prayer shawl to keep her warm this winter. By the time I finish it, she'll probably be healed but she can have it anyway :) So I must now learn to knit! I hope I can pray and knit at the same time, I got the walking and chewing gum thing down.

I think I know one person who can teach me! I'm pretty excited!

Ecc 4:10-12
10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!

11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?

12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Monday, November 10, 2008


For the last couple days, I can't help but well up (I'm a crier) when I think about my life.

Not because I think it sucks and I wish it would change but because I'm incredibly blessed. Would I like a few extra dollars in the bank as a cushion, of course, tell me someone you know who wouldn't.

Some people I know were talking about what we would do if we won the Mega-Millions. What would I do? Honestly, I'd live just the way I do today. I'd live in my same house, maybe get a different car, pay for college for Phyllis, buy a bus for Alive/Fuel, I mean a super cool bus. I'd donate my time. I would quit my job, but not for the reasons of most, because honestly, I love what I do. Not many people can say that, I'm blessed to like what I do and work with people I really love. I'd quit because times are tough, and someone else would need that job more than me. And I'd volunteer, I'd find causes worthy of my time because my time would be that of God's. He blessed me with it, and so I should be a good steward of it.

When I saw Phyllis yesterday, hugged her, and kissed the top of her head, as I often do, I thought, "I can't believe how blessed I am". I surely don't deserve it, but thanks to God's grace and His never ending love... I am blessed.

I wonder, am I blessed really more than most, or is it that I just am open so much to God's love that I see it more, so it seems like I am blessed more than most...

So my question to you... what really would you do if you won TEN MILLION DOLLARS?

Jer 4:2 and if in a truthful, just and righteous way you swear, 'As surely as the LORD lives,' then the nations will be blessed by him and in him they will glory."

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Jesus Savior in my life You are everything...

My future decided
I will praise Your name.
I know, I am
I am Yours...

This is one of my favorite songs! It's actually the ringtone that plays when Phyllis calls. Her future is decided.

Today we sang this song and Ava and I worshipped with the Alive band in the back. She's 3. And let me tell you, she can sing that song, every word, hand in the air shouting it out... I loved worshipping with her.

I am reading a new book "200 Pomegrantes & an audience of One". So good! I'll do a review on it when I am finished. I read half yesterday, the rest will probably be done at the end of the week!

Have a good week! You are His! He loves you! Be unafraid and unashamed of Him and who you are in Him!!

And play the song, jump around like a Jesus Freak!!

Romans 1:16 16I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile.

Verse 1
You hold the future in your hands
You know my dreams and you have a plan
And as you light my way, I'll follow you

My eyes on all of the above
My soul secure in all you've done
My minds made up
And you are the only one for me

Jesus, savior, in my life you are everything
My future decided, I will praise your name
And I know that I am, I am yours
Yeah, I know that that I am, I am yours

Verse 2
You hold the earth in your command
You are the rock on which I stand
And as I live each day, I'll follow you

Unafraid, unashamed Lord we know who we are
We are your people and we won't be silent
Unified hear us cry at the top of our lungs
You our God and we will not be shaken

My Life

Phyllis has been gone for 3 days, today she comes home. She's at Choir Conference. I've missed her since the minute she left.

You'd think I would have packed my weekend with stuff that I liked, however, Thursday I cleaned house, Friday after work I came home, ate leftovers from Wednesday night's taco fiesta :), watched a couple shows and went to bed at 9:30. I'm just exciting. Saturday I got up did a little Christmas shopping and then spent the day with Adam, Favot, & Jon Whaley looking at camps for our Winter Retreat. I have to say, that it was great! We listened to sermons, talked about a bunch of stuff, talked about the kids and how to impact them, it was great, you would think 11 hours in a car with 3 guys would have been horrible, but we all have one purpose, bringing kids to Jesus. Because of our route, we went through a lot of small towns, I will be making that trip all by myself to check out some quaint towns to just look around.

Today is church, I have all the stuff thawing to make Shepard's Pie for Phyllis because she returns today! It's her favorite! After church I will come home, do some laundry, make cookies and Shephard's pie, and then go pick her up! I can't wait to see her! I've missed her so much!! Everytime I thought of doing something I thought "it would be more fun if PHyllis was here".

Song of Solomon 6:9 but my dove, my perfect one, is unique, the only daughter of her mother, the favorite of the one who bore her. The maidens saw her and called her blessed; the queens and concubines praised her.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Christmas Shopping

I know that Christmas really isn't about shopping and presents. But let me tell you, I love to buy people gifts. I tell people let's not exchange, but I find myself finding things I know they would love without a list. I finished 5 people yesterday :)

I am done buying Phyllis what I put on my list that I was going to get her. Christmas presents are scaled back this year, that's just how it is. I got her 2 things she REALLY wanted, and a few things she'll be surprised about. And I must have done something right because she's said so many times "Mom, you don't have to get me all that stuff" and I believe her. The hard part is that I have until December not to buy her anything new because I love to buy her gifts, I love to watch her open stuff she's excited about.

I finished my niece and my 3 nephews yesterday as well! I got them all things that according to their mommies they are going to love! YEAH! And for those 4, I was a total of $31 under budget (my budget for all four was $100).

Let me tell you a secret, you might already know it... but check out seriously. They have the best prices on books, if you spend $25 on most things (especially CDs, books, movies-NEW!) free shipping, it says 5-7 days once shipped, I typically get it in 3. This is what I do to save on shipping... I put it in my cart... and then when I find something else I need... I add it to my cart and when I hit the $25 mark, I purchase it. I've found new books for $6 when they are $25 in the store!! Paid $10 for a CD that was $18.99 in the store! If you don't like credit/debit cards, you can use your checking account. I just got my first debit card a month ago, so I used my checking, it's sweet. I think people think I'm nuts but I don't care, it's hassle free, they have great products, you can get a lot of things you can't find in stores because they are not the "latest & greatest", you can get a lot of things used, but sometimes I've found buying it new with free shipping is better than used with shipping (you must do the math!).

Happy Shopping!!

NOTE: I got Phyllis a 6-pack of undies for Christmas BRAND NEW from Wal-mart for $.50 because they over charged me and I got the scanning law! HA!!!

Thursday, November 06, 2008

I found myself in the last couple days thinking "I thought you were smarter than that" or "not surprised".

I voted for who I felt God was telling me to vote for and how He wanted me to vote. I'm glad it's over, and as I am called, I will pray for Obama. I will pray that God call after him so loudly, He can't help but answer, that he will be at the throne on his knees bowing to Jesus. That the cross will mean so much to him that he can't help but change the way he thinks, the way he acts, and it will change how he makes decisions.

I also know that I have ~3.5 years to pray for God to rise up a leader. One he will call into great service. There were a lot of young people who voted this time around... and I expect that to be the trend. So, we've (Youth Ministries) got a lot of work to do. We've always had a lot of work to do, to save souls, to save lives, not us but to lead them to Jesus. I've be on my knees, I'll be at the throne of Jesus, the cross will mean so much to me that it will be how and why I make decisions. It will change the way I think and the way I act.

Change starts with me.

Love starts with me.

Jesus is the reason for it all.
Psalm 31:2 Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

CHECK THIS OUT!! Angel Food Ministries

I decided to delete my post that was unproductive and not positive. So I decided to pass on this new GEM of information. You can go to Angel Food Ministries and you can BUY food at a very good price. Now, I am a great shopper, I mean, when it comes to groceries, I have fed us for 2 weeks on $75. I know how to grocery shop! I looked at it, and it was a very good deal, so much so that I called one girlfriend and emailed another. You do have to pick it up, in our area, there is a place in Taylor. And the food is good, meaning most of the stuff we will eat. A few things will hit the donation box at church. It's all over the country!!

In our area, the deadline for ordering November's Food box is November 11 for pick up on Nov 22.

Here is what I purchased for $30:

1.5 lb. New York Strip Steak (4 x 6 oz.)
3 lb. IQF Split ChickenBreast
2 lb. Baby Back Pork Ribs
2 lb. Chicken Chunks
28 oz. Jumbo Charbroiled Beef Patties with Gravy
1 lb. Smoked Sausage
1 lb. Ground Turkey
1 lb. Green Beans
1 lb. Diced Sweet Potatoes
10 oz. Peanut Butter
15 oz. Cranberry Sauce
7 oz. Beef-Flavored Rice & Vermicelli
20 oz. Shoestring Fries
32 oz. 2% Reduced Fat Shelf-Stable Milk
6 oz. Pancake Mix
One Dozen Eggs
One Dessert Item


seriously, what is wrong with me?

I do well on my weightloss journey, I know what to do, but WHY can't I stick to it? I know that I feel better when I exercise, I know I feel better when I eat well. BUT WHY DON'T I DO IT ALL THE TIME???

I'm sick of myself. Ok, I know that sounds kind of harsh, but I look in the mirror and I think "you know you hate this, now do something about it". I can't find the time to exercise which I know is crucial.

I am looking forward to some rest over Thanksgiving, I am really hoping to get into a program, maybe a week of exercise will remind me how much I really do love it...

Monday, November 03, 2008


Well… sorry I haven’t posted! I was SO tired on Saturday… I can’t imagine why… lol…

Sunday was a long day, I really hurt my back somehow. I didn’t do anything weird but I am in so much pain I can barely stand it. The good news it only hurts when I am still or when I move, other than that… no pain. I also have a killer headache…

It’s been pretty amazing the last couple weeks. I loved last Friday with the lock in. And don’t worry, the scarf is safe, I kept it in the car because it was just too hot!! Those kids are just amazing, they had so much fun!! We had a few slight instances, one forged signature (apparently they thought I wouldn't catch them! WRONG!), one kid barfed (he made the trash can), a couple injuries during EXTREME dodgeball, other than that… pretty calm for a Fuel Lock In.

I have a group of girls that I pray for in our high school ministry. They are my “5Alive” though I have 6 (I pray for a lot more than them)….lol It’s been pretty amazing the last couple weeks watching them grow in just a short time. One is getting baptized in a couple of weeks on a Thursday which is kind of funny because it’s my only day “off” and I am SOOO excited to be there to see her proclaim her life in Christ!! I don’t know if everyone realizes the power behind prayer that it’s not just something you do, but it becomes something you live. In my humble opinion, without oxygen you would die, and without prayer, there is death.

And last night, the girls were asking me all kinds of questions, because they were curious. Things that I think they were embarrassed to ask other people but I think they know they can trust me. I gave them honest answers and ideas to help them. I even asked them for 5 things that they need prayer for so that I could pray for them daily. If you could see these girls, they are so beautiful and their hearts are so beautiful and they are striving to live a life that is God honoring, and they understand that they might fall, but they know that they are never too far out of reach that God can’t call them back. Isn’t that like one of the best lessons ever?

Oh, the lessons I learn in Youth Ministry. I can’t imagine what I ever did to be blessed this much, but I am so thankful for God’s Amazing Grace, and His sacrifice.

Romans 8:38-39 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Lock In


oh my gosh! it was awesome! To say I am tired is the understatement of the year!

1. 45 boxes of pizza
2. 300 panacakes
3. 4 bouncers
4. 100s of pieces of candy eaten
5. 25 pounds of apples
6. 6 pounds of carrots.
7. ~30 leaders
8. only 4 helmets for the skatepark
9. 26 hours straight with no sleep

Psalm 34:11 Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD.