Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Friday, May 26, 2017

Humbled by grace

I went to a play tonight where the main character was named Margie! And they said it right (like I do!). The main character was a single mom who struggles.  The play was mostly funny and probably most people left thinking it was a great story (which it was) and it was very very funny! But me, I had all the feels!  My heart was full of so many emotions, so you can probably guessed what I did... I cried. 

God's grace isn't lost on me. I know of it's value and it's weight. I know that I work hard because it honors God. But I know that without His grace, we'd still be going to bed hungry or out on the street.  

I'm leaving for Uganda in 2 weeks. And I know the honor in that. I also know the honor of being called to Detroit. And the honor it is to love people. 

Today as I left that theatre I was humbled. Humbled that God chose me, that He continues to choose me and use me, over and over again. 

I'm going to bed so very thankful. 

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Mailboxes and dreams

This mailbox. 

I love it. 

Who loves mailboxes?

I love that I walk to it and drop off cards to people I love. 

I love that it reminds me of my gram and we would walk to the mailbox after dinner to “make room for dessert”…  and how did she ALWAYS have a fresh “Heavenly Hash” ice cream that was my favorite EVERY time I came to visit.  It was like magic!!!
 I think I’m working on seeing the beauty of every day.  Its really easy to be in a place I’ve never been before and be in awe of it, but sometimes it is a little more difficult to see the beauty in the every day.  It’s easy to be so busy in the every day to walk past a flower on my walk. 

I’m a planner, I think it comes from always feeling like things were out of control when I was younger. The death of my mom, the fear of losing my dad.  Fast forward to a whole lot of garbage.  So the easiest thing is to “control” the situation.  Which in some ways only made me crazy, because we can’t control anything.  LOL

I’m going on a trip (Uganda), to a place that I’ve never been to, with people I don’t know that well, and leaders that I trust but don’t know that well (I wouldn’t go unless I really trusted them), doing projects that I haven’t planned.  Sounds nuts to me, and completely wonderful all at the same time!  (Welcome to the crazy in my over thinking brain)

I’m not really planning past Uganda.  I’m dreaming but not planning, those are not the same thing, and it feels good. 

Thursday, May 18, 2017

The Ramblings of my heart and mind... Uganda

Read this the other day Neinas
I am less than 30 days away from my mission trip to Uganda and I wait in great… anxiousness. 
I also wait in great expectation!  I know the hope that is in Christ.  But I know that going on a mission trip to a foreign country is a great responsibility and it carries a heavy weight.  What God will do in me is probably much greater than what He will do through me.  I know I am small, and yet God still uses me.  And I am thankful.  I am happy to be the dot in the formation of a letter in His story.  I am that small.  And I like it that way.

About this time I start to wonder “what the heck did you sign up for?”  It happens before EVERY single trip I take whether it’s to see my friends in Colorado or Haiti or now… Uganda.  It’s a weird thing, I love to travel but it makes me nervous.  Planes crashing, people killing me, I watch too much criminal minds.   I think everyone has the potential to be a serial killer.  (welcome to the crazy that is inside my mind!).  I also know a whole bunch of tears are about to be poured out, my eyes will leak out allllll over Uganda!  (there is no shame in my crying game).  I know that God will grow me, and stretch me (did I mention I might have to give my testimony – I don’t really like speaking in front of people) and there will be moments of pain. 
And as I type all this… I will tell you… I can’t wait.  For it allllll...

I can’t wait (if we are allowed – the local church may do it) to give out Little Dresses for Africa!
I can’t wait to play dominoes with kids and adults!
I can’t wait to see the smiles of the people of Uganda
I can’t wait to see the growth in my teammates
I can’t wait to see lives changed for Christ!
I can’t wait to experience a culture I’ve only seen in pictures and heard about
I can’t wait to hear the voice of God
I can’t wait to worship the Creator of the universe
I can’t wait to see what God will do!
And I can’t wait for the things that I don’t even know about yet!

So yes, I wait in great anxiousness, and but I wait in great expectation!  I will have moments of quiet, when I can’t find the words, and moments when I won’t be able to shut up!  All my crazy will be contained, and moments that will be ALLLLLLLLLL over everything!

I will hug hard, smile big, and love fierce!