Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

The call

Until today I never really thought I had a ministry. I just always kind of saw myself as someone who supported others. 

There's a mission trip? Well? They gotta eat, I'll feed them.

Oh people need fresh fruits and veggies in the city, I'll plant a community garden. 

Soup kitchens? They need hello serving meals, of course I'll do that, it's my gift.

Seriously easy peasy.

I don't really lead people to Jesus. It's not what I do. I have always just served people who served.  I don't like the spotlight, a nice hug or a thank you is good enough for me. 

But today I was talking to my friend Emily and I said "it's my ministry", that's real churchy. But the truth is God has a call on my life, and I'm never gonna be Like the great Billy Graham or lead successful youth ministries that turn out 1000s of kids like Adam, but I do have a great call on my life. To love people and to feed them and to let them know they matter.

What does that look like? 

I have no idea. 

Tomorrow it looks like cooking and making sandwiches, and planting plants.

It's the greatest thing to realize that you matter to God enough to know that He trusts you enough even in your weakness (and stupidity) to love those He loves.

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Full bellies!

You know it's a long day when you're not even sure when it started. 

It was a long but great day! 

We had all the teams arrive at Courage  for 4days! We were having dinner for them, I prepped a bunch of it yesterday and early in the day today but honestly I kept praying for God to point out what I was forgetting because things seemed to be going way too well. Lol. I mean it's not my first rodeo and it was a simple meal. Hot dogs, chips, pasta salad, and baked beans. We had quite a bit leftover because well... They didn't eat enough (sounds better than I made too much).

I ran the extras over to My Brothers Keeper, they were going to use it for Thursday but ended up needing to
Use it today because they had so many people. It's crazy but it made my heart so


I've said it before, I feel like I got the best gift, people need to eat! It's a necessity for life, and God chose me to do it, and I
Can cook!!  What a tremendous honor that is!!

Can't wait to see what tomorrow has in store, all I know is that it's probably gonna be really great!!! I'll be feeding people aaallllllll day!!

Grace to you!!

Saturday, July 23, 2016

It's not what but who

Today I stopped at WW and I was a little nervous, last week's gain of .1 was actually full of grace and this week I worked hard to get back on track. It was a nice surprise of a loss of 2.3

I left crying (so happy). I thought "wow this program really works" and insert needle scratch. You know what works? 
I make good choices and some days not so good choices. And some days it's hard. But it's worth it, I'm worth it. 

It means that I make sure I always have yogurt and blueberries and almonds. It means I get my steps in and log my points. 

And someone actually noticed the other day. The thing is when you're chubby it takes time to notice a difference. Even I don't notice it in myself except that most of my pants are a little big (and they used to be tight). 

All this to say, that if you're waiting to do something to change your life, whether it's weight loss or going back to school or quitting smoking, this is what I'd like to say to you, you can do it, you're worth it, and there is no time like right now. Get the tools you need and move forward, you have a great life to lead! The world needs you!

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Update on the garden

I don't know why but today I stopped at the "non-existent" garden. 

After having the plants stolen, then the second round killed by drought, I was a little discouraged so it was weird to me that I felt such a need to go. I mean summer is well on its way, I was trying
To figure out if I should do something to fill the boxes. I was walking around the garden and just kind of talking out loud to God. What would you like me to do??

And I found some plants that were growing. Weird. But encouraging 

I've cut some things out of my schedule and I'll be spending some time at the garden giving it some love. Now that most of the crazy is done, that's what I need. 

In stopping to look at the garden, I also stopped downstairs to talk to Ernie. Before I knew it I was feeding people (it's a gift).

Spending time with people I love today. Though things are changing, my heart is full. Change is weird, but His Word is a light to my path. 

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Thankful to serve

Every day God gives us a new opportunity to be faithful.

It has been the most incredibly busy three months.  I can't even tell you.  I am constantly tired.  I'm physically tired, sometimes I wake up and can't remember where I live.  Thankfully the stairs are far away otherwise I might end up down them.  My soul has been weary.  I feel  myself grasping for the things of Jesus.  People have admittedly told me they didn't ask me to do things because they thought I was too busy. 

There is a place that sometimes I just go to because my soul is thirsty.  It is My Brother's Keeper.  At this point I don't even know how long I've been serving there, I think it might be over 4 years at this point but I am not even sure, i just feel like it's been a long time and it feels like a short minute.

I think I started serving (ok I know) because I thought I could do some good.  Little did I know it was them who would do my heart so much good.  MBK has become a refuge in the storms of life for me.  It is a place that in all it's craziness, I find peace there.   Some of my favorite stories are from there, Fried Chicken Fiasco of 2015, watching people eat pork chops (and get them in their eye brows), having someone "test taste" something new I bring.... three helpings later. 

I know that cooking in general isn't for everyone, especially cooking for large groups of people, but it's my gig.  I think about serving a meal to Jesus Himself.  If the bible is alive and true...

Matthew 25:35-40 says...
35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Then I do serve Him.  And I wouldn't make some kind of slop if I was serving God, so I don't serve people that way either.      I'd just like to say, He would have been pleased with yesterday's meal... BBQ chicken sandwiches, Homemade Cole Slaw, Chicken BLT salad, Watermelon, and Beckie's famous Strawberry Shortcake. I always know it's extra good when they are trying to smuggle out the food.  And yesterday, it was crazy! 

As I left yesterday, my heart was so full.  Serving with people I love and another opportunity that I did what God has asked of me, leaves me feeling full.  It is humbling that He would choose me to do His great work. That people would be drawn in for a meal, but would hear the beautiful word of God.  it is just amazing. 

I am so thankful!

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Would you rather?

We’ve probably all seen it, a power struggle. 

Nothing divides people more than a power struggle. In the last week, I have witnessed them, even been a part of one.  And the one I was involved in I thought to myself “why are you being so darn stubborn – just do it like she said, it won’t hurt anything”

I witnessed one the other day and I thought “this is uncomfortable”

I thought about how many times I would stand my ground on the dumbest things, just to be right (and when I was I wasn’t very quiet about it).  I don’t usually stand my ground unless I’m pretty confident that I’m right.  It’s a pride thing.  A total terrible pride thing. 

That being said, I am working on it, a lot of hard work, a lot of submitting.

One thing I realized from my own experience, when someone is trying to be big (and right) they don’t treat people very kind.  And when they say “I love you” soon after it, I sometimes think (not very grace-givingly) “do you really?”

And it saddens me to think that others may think about me.  Ugh. Fail.

I strive to produce and give away the Fruit of the Spirit

Love, Joy, Peace, patience, Goodness, Kindness, Gentleness, and Self Control

Nothing about a power struggle is those things.

I do think that sometimes we need to stand our ground for things like Social Injustice, taking care of others (and ourselves) but when we are fighting about something dumb, then I think I need to step back and HUMBLY submit. 

I am learning to walk away from things like this, sometimes it takes me a long time to walk away, but I’m learning. 

Be Humble

Be Kind

Choose battles worth engaging in

But for all that is true, love above all

Saturday, July 09, 2016

A journey

Today I stopped at my local weight watchers, they open at 7:30 which works out perfect for me on busy Saturday mornings. 

I promised myself that my blog would not become this crazy weight loss blog. I've done that before. I become obsessed with weight loss, eating, I just change my addiction of eating
To weight loss which really isn't that healthy either.

On May 28, I sat in the parking lot of the Woodhaven Weight watchers parking lot and cried. We were about to take on the crazy adventure of our new home and I knew that life was about to get crazier than normal which is honestly crazy to think about. We'd be busy, tired, things would be in two different places. I weighed the most I've ever weighed and I thought "I can't go on like this". So I went in and weighed. And cried. 

I've tried WW before, their direction was a lot of fake food, carbs, and that would work for a little while. They revamped their program to focus on eating whole foods, good for you stuff. I looked at the program and I really thought "I can do this". And I do. It's simple and I eat a lot of fruit lol

I've lost 15 lbs since that day 7 weeks ago. I feel so great. Believe it or not I've pretty much replaced ice cream with yogurt and blueberries with toasted almonds. Last week, super tired, and stressed, I went and bought ice cream. I was sick for two days. I thought "dummy, should have just eaten yogurt"

The holiday weekend was just here, I did over indulge but not like before. I got right back to program, even at pizza Thursday. Yesterday we got
To celebrate new life, and I ate yummy veggies and sampled my potato salad (because that would be dumb to skip that).

I feel great, encouraged by friends and family, I have my moments of wanting to stress eat or out of boredom but then I go unpack a box and think about what's making me want to eat. 

I have a long way to go, but I'm thankful for this tool to help me do this my whole life 

Friday, July 08, 2016

Thankful for friendship

Last night I met with my girlfriend for her birthday, there was 4 of us. We talked, laughed cried, and told stories that bare no repeating. But they were funny.

It has been a very stressful time in my life. Packing was truckloads of stuff, reliving memories as packed/unpacked them. Settling in, getting one house ready to live in and the other ready for someone else ready to start their own life of memories.

I'll be honest, it's been a lonely time, I've spent more time than I care to admit alone doing projects that I figured out how to do by myself though they would have been easier with someone else, I've spent time
Taking care of others when I needed help myself, and for one of the first times in My life I actually asked for help... I'll write more about the results of that another time. Sometimes those results were wonderful and sometimes...

In the loneliness of it all, I learned a lot and I learned to take care of myself and to reach out to my friends when my heart was aching. I learned that sometimes in the crazy of it all, I learned to just keep going. Because busy lives are all around.

Last night God sent three women to remind me what I'm not alone. He sent me three women to remind me that friendship is a gift and laughter is good for our souls. He reminded me that we need people, which I knew because lately I've been reaching out for lunches and friends. 

When I left my Thursday Night Mommasitas my heart felt full. I was reminded of so many things and God's faithfulness throughout my life. I was reminded of the buckets, I was reminded of how friendship is such a gift and kindness should not be overlooked. 

Hearts tied together by the thread of love cannot be broken.

I am thankful