I do not pretend to be happy when I'm not, maybe that's because I am not fake.
I posted yesterday because something was bothering me. And apparently I am just supposed to put on some happy face and pretend like everything is ok.
Most of my life is good, actually all of my life is good. Because God is good, all the time, that never changes. However, there are things in my life that I struggle with. And I will not pretend that I don't struggle. Because I struggle it does not mean that I don't like God or that I think that He didn't know what He was doing. It means I am human, and I struggle, and I am not fake.
I am sure that most of you were well meaning in telling me that hating my birth-day is silly or that maybe those reading think I should dismiss my feelings and move on. It has been my experience that, in my life, that does not work. I struggled for 30+ years because my mom died, and when I was ready, God was standing there with a ginormous bandaid ready for healing, when I was ready to accept it. This will be no different.
For me, I can't deal with things until I admit I have an issue. Call it step one.
I still expect a pony for my birthday, so T~ email me and I will give you my address.
And thank you for your prayers.
And healing is on it's way.
Isaiah 53:5 5 But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed