Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Thursday, January 31, 2008


What do you think when you go to dinner with your friends who bring their kids and the kids act like maniacs? You think "I will never do this again". I'm not talking about the occasional outburst, I am talking about the crawling on the floor, screaming because they can't open every creamer/sugar packet, making a mess, EVERY time you go out with them.

I don't really care one way or the other if you believe in spanking your child. Whether you use time out, you take things away, no matter what your discipline tactic, I hope that you follow through, I think that is most important. I think what's most important is that you know what works for your child, and you use it. I will tell you that while I didn't beat my child (she was spanked all of 5 times in her life, and really hasn't been spanked since I think she was 6, but really that's neither here nor there).

But really, no one really likes discipline, frankly, I wish Phyllis got out the gate behaving correctly, loving Jesus, not be selfish, etc, and just plain being good. Unfortunatly that just does not happen, and as a parent, it's our job to seek God and to raise our children to do those things.

It's not just about them, it's about us too. We have parents, and we have this awesome Father who teaches us lessons, who helps us to be more like Him everyday. I will be honest, I hate lessons, sometimes I am just the slowest learner (lol) and God continues to have to teach me over and over again, and I wonder if sometimes He's like "if you don't get it this time, I'm getting the spoon and it's going to be painful".

But I know that even through each lesson, through each "spanking" I am going to come out a little better than when I went in.

Yesterday I ran into someone I went to college with (just 2 years ago). I didn't want to say hi, if I could have darted down an aisle, I would have, but I was trapped. I sat there thinking "should I ignore, should i say hi, Oh Lord, I don't like him, can I please just be rude?" But I said "hi how are you?" And the jerk made some smart-ass comment and I thought and ALMOST said out "still an a-hole" but I didn't, and I also thought "still in need of a heart". I should pray for him, and the only prayers that came to mind where "please God, humble him, please God, bring him to his knees to love You" and none of those did I mean in a good way. And I thought, "uh-oh, here comes the lesson, it's easy to pray for those you love, it's those that you dislike or think that are jerks that it's hard to pray for. That hot coals thing (Romans 12:20 20On the contrary: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."). You can't dump hot coals on someone's head, and then hold their head under water and call it "living like Jesus". You've got to do what's right, to really pray for healing, and love, and all that good stuff so they see the Face of Jesus everyday in order for them to follow. Ugh. Lessons. So I did the right thing, and it wasn't easy, but I know it's a step in the right direction. Only to walk out to my car to see he left me a not-love note on my car. Pray again.

And let me tell you, this incident, it rocked me to the core until I really put it at the feet of Jesus and said "help me with this, make me more like You".

Hebrews 12:11-13 11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
12Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 13"Make level paths for your feet,"
so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008


I can't help but be disappointed with K'wame. It's awful that he cheated on his wife. But frankly, it's absolutely none of my business, but I'll pray for healing in that relationship, on all sides, him, wife, kids, and all those around him.

I remember when K'wame ran for Mayor the first time. I remember saying "he has such potential", he had (has) the potential to do such good. To take the Youthfulness he possesses with the connections of his parents and turn this city around, or at least begin turning the freighter, albeit slow, the turning had started. Unfortunatly, he did not use his "powers" for good. It's a shame.

I was sitting with some friends yesterday, all of us at completely different places in our lives, but friends, friends that I think in some ways we will be tied for all times, in prayer, and in love. Sometimes you just can't help it.

I started thinking about lost potential, or not living up to the GLORY we can bring to God because we don't live up to our potential. I have gifts, I try to use them as much as possible. If everyone used their gifts, think about how great this world would be. Think for one second how many times you've passed on giving someone a compliment just because you didn't want them to get a big head, however, you were not aware that as God laid that on your heart, it was the time they needed it most.

I think about how I could have shown the love of Christ to someone because of my own issues, like they get on my nerves. But I didn't because I couldn't get out of my own way. I think of the potential I have to be a good mom, to show my daughter love, or to be a good friend, to drop off a meal or do something for someone, for whatever reason, and sometimes, I fall flat on my face, This is not to say that I don't do those things, it's just that I am saying that I don't do them as much as I should.

I think about how many times, we blame others for not doing something we should. "what have they done for me?" or "when is someone going to do something for me?" "how come I am always the one?" . I have friends who tell me I do too much for others, not thinking of myself. How do I just come out and say "it's not about me, it's about Him". You'd think that's easy, and while I am a huge lover of Christ, sometimes I just don't feel like seeing the "eye roll". I just don't. I don't really think that if I had every word in the world, they would ever understand, but I think if I show them, if they see joy in me, and the joy in others, they will understand. I sign my emails "Live life in such a way that those who don't know Jesus will come to know Jesus because they know you". (Mark 9:35Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all.")

The potential I have (because of me) is nothing. I am nothing. But the potential for greatness because of God (that's in me) is huge-mungous (gi-normous).

Luke 18:27 Jesus replied, "What is impossible with men is possible with God."

Monday, January 28, 2008


Ecc8:5-8 5Whoever obeys his command will come to no harm,
and the wise heart will know the proper time and procedure.
6 For there is a proper time and procedure for every matter,
though a man's misery weighs heavily upon him.
7 Since no man knows the future,
who can tell him what is to come?
8 No man has power over the wind to contain it ;
so no one has power over the day of his death.
As no one is discharged in time of war,
so wickedness will not release those who practice it.

I don't know what it's been in the last few days but I have felt nothing but hopeless. I sometimes wish that this wasn't my journal, I would lock these feelings all away, but then I wouldn't be honest.

I feel like someone is standing on my chest. It's even hard to muster a smile. Someone asked me yesterday how I was, the answer "ok". I think I said "I'll be all right". I will. Whenever I say that, I think of the song "I know my God saves the day, and I know His loves never fades, and I know my God made away for me, it's going to be alright".

And I believe that. I know that it will be ok, I know that "this too shall pass". I know that I will be better than ok.

Normally, I am pretty good about being a single mom, most days I enjoy the life I live, I don't typically live a life of "I wish". Sure, I always want more money so I can breath a little easier, give a little more, but I have learned to better manage what I have been blessed with instead of asking for more. But lately, I don't know what the deal is but I have really been praying extra hard for the husband that God has waiting for me. I always wanted 6 kids, 5 more blessings in addition to the 1 I have. Now if you've heard me talk sometimes I say "no way, I like my life the way it is, no more children, I am TOO OLD" and I don't necessarily have to have all the 5 children, I would love to adopt a child who needs a home, to rescue a child from abortion. I don't believe that a mother's love only extends to those she gives birth to. I wonder will I ever find the love my heart desires now that I have found this awesome love with God. I think that now I am a woman of God, I think I will be such a better wife than I would have ever been before. I even pray for my husband now, and I don't even have one yet. That seems kind of funny to me, but I know it's a necessity. Maybe I should have prayed for him decades ago.

Now let me tell you in all this, I know God's plan is way better than mine, the desires of His heart are far greater and truer than the desires of mine. I know that He's raising up a man and raising me up too, to be the husband and wife and maybe we're being raised up to be parents too, I don't know. I was worshipping to a song yesterday, 'My future decided' and it took everything I had to hold back a ton of tears.

My Future Decided
You hold the future in Your hands
You know my dreams and You have a plan
And as You light my way, I'll follow You

My eyes on all of the above
My soul secure in all You've done
My minds made up
And You are the only one for me

Jesus, Savior, in my life You are everything
My future decided, I will praise Your name
And I know that I am, I am Yours
Yeah, I know that that I am, I am Yours

You hold the earth in Your command
You are the rock on which I stand
And as I live each day, I'll follow You

Aren't afraid, aren't ashamed Lord we know who we are
We are Your people and we won't be silent
Unified hear us cry at the top of our lungs
You our God and we will not be shaken

This song... yikes. I know who I am, I know that I am His, I know that, like I said, His plan is far greater than mine. Until I'm ready, I will be sitting here, kneeling here, on my knees bowing down and looking up. My God saves the day.

Romans 5:1-5 1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

My dad

1. Taught me 'good direction'. If I am lost, it's never for long... I can usually find my way out rather quickly
2. Cleaning off my car. When I was a kid, he'd clean the car off when I was inside, and I always made faces at him.
3. French Onion Soup. His is awesome
4. Going to church. My dad went for weddings, funerals, Christmas. I wonder why we never really went as a kid, I love it now, hated it then.
5. Computers. We were the first of my friends to have a computer
6. Cable. We were the first of all my friends to have cable.
7. Cooking. I can cook well because my dad taught me well, and taught me to experiment, and sometimes it's ok if you throw the whole pan out if it's terrible
8. Diet Pepsi. My dad always drank diet pepsi on the boat, he'd say "get me a pepsi' and that always meant diet
9. Chiropractor. I have gone since I was in 2nd grade
10. How to pick good meat the at meat market. My dad taught me about all the different cuts of meat.
11. Love. My dad loves me like crazy. Even when I am getting on his nerves.

Proverbs 1:8 Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching.

Friday, January 25, 2008


My friend Kevin graduates from Grace Centers of Hope on Sunday, he was officially done in October, but is now in after-care living on Seneca Street. Not everyone who walks into Grace Centers of Hope is addicted to drugs. Kevin lost hope. He was shell, he would tell you that. There were a lot of things that lead up to Kevin going to GCH. If you want to know all that, you could ask him. Today, it will be a spotlight on him.

Kevin is very humble, in a good way. He takes no glory for his greatness (it's hard to give him a compliment). He's probably reading this and may want to strangle me, but hopefully he will get over it.
Kevin is the kind of guy that you can't help but like when you meet him. I mean from the first handshake. He's the kind of guy that God lives everyday in His heart, when Kevin has an issue, straight to God he goes. Kevin also has this wonderful connection with God, that I can be struggling with something, and I will get a text page of a scripture. I will immediatly stop what I am doing and read it, it's amazing, sometimes I want to cry at how much God loves me, and that awesome connection Kevin has with God, and I guess, me too.

Kevin often without meaning to, is a great inspiration, he's got so many great qualities, I wish I had them. He's so encouraging to those around him, "my kids" love to work with him, he's kind to them, and he's patient, and he gives great instruction, detailed, expectations are clear. I wish I had more of each one of those qualities. And he's not bad to look at either :)

Kevin has a great sense of humor, you've got to get "one liners" or the humor might run right by you, but if you get it, HA! You'll even laugh out loud when no one is around (which is a good thing because people may think you're a little loopie if you laugh out loud for no reason).

Kevin gets it, he's smart, ask him just about anything and he'll know the answer, which sometimes can be a little intimidating but he never throws his smart-ness in your face, I feel like I am always learning something new. But besides book-smarts, Kevin is wise, which is a great quality. Sometimes we talk and he's got this great discernment that I sometimes just don't have because I am too close to the subject. Another quality I wish I had more of.

Strong family values. Some might think that is one description, it's three. Kevin is strong, in mind and body. I will see him walking alone in the dark on his way back to GCH from church and I'll say something, but i know he can take good care of himself if need be. He also has this great sense of family. He loves his nieces like crazy, can't wait to show them his new place or spend time with them, also, like every good son, loves his mommy. It's great to see that kind of admiration.

Kevin works that the thrift store in Sterling Heights, he is trustworthy, I can guarentee everything is better than ok when he is around, his integrity is bar none (except for Sara, she'd turn in her own sister, she told me so). He's loyal to those he loves.

I can't even tell you how proud I am to be his friend, if you are known by the company you keep, I must look like a star, because he shines the Light of Christ like no one else I know.

Happy Graduation Kevin, I am so proud of you!!

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”- Philippians 4:8

The picture was taken at a wedding we went to, he was just standing there smiling with a Mountain Dew in his hand, he didn't even know I was taking the picture, his personality was just shining through.

Thursday, January 24, 2008


Do you find yourself looking down on people who have drug and/or alcohol addictions? what about that fat person who you think "good Lord, how much really do they have to eat to get that fat?" What about a smoker? Do you think "why don't you just kick your habit already?"

Or do you realize that you suffer from addictions too? Do you eat too much? Do you drink too much caffeine, because you need it to get through the day? How about putting yourself down too much?

First of all, let me tell you, addiction is addiction, whether it's to the refridge or to the crack pipe, some addictions are looked down on while others just become the "way we live".

I decided to give up Diet Pepsi, I was drinking 3-5 a day. Yes, that' s right. It was horrible. I loved the sound of opening one, I loved the taste, that first drink was like a euphroic "mmmm". Not kidding. Not kidding at all.

I've been doing some hard looking at myself. Kick some habits, stupid. Things that are just not good for you. And it began with getting back on my vitamin regimen, but if I was going to put (spend) the money into it, I shouldn't be counter-active and pour bad stuff in. So... giving up Diet Pepsi seemed to be the first thing on my list.

Day 1 wasn't so bad. Day 2, I almost puked, I shook for most of the day, and had an insane headache. Wednesday was better but not great, only a headache, and tired. Today, I'm dragging a little slower, headache doesn't hurt as bad. I feel like I am on the up swing.

I've decided that it doesn't do me much good to try and kick every bad habit at once, because it's too much pressure and I tend to fall back, only to beat the crap out of myself, and continue on. Addiction. It's horrible.

You know another addiction I have. I put myself down way too much. I'm too fat, I'm not smart, I am ugly, I am... you can fill in the blanks with things you have heard me say. The addiction is quite self-destructing. Being mean to yourself if not honoring to God. It's like saying, "God, You are awesome, You made all these great things, but You kind of missed it on me" It's not humble either. While I am nothing without God, in God, I am something. I am glorious in Him, and the more I let His light shine through me, the more Glory-ous I am, it's all because of Him, getting out of my own way.

Addiction. Yuck.

Matthew 11:28-30 28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Challenge 429

Back in the day (you know like 2 years ago), every Sunday night I would write out cards to people to let them know I loved them, I would mail them every Monday. I used one book of stamps per week. I don’t remember why I stopped, but for some reason I stopped that practice. Maybe I just got too busy.

The last 2 Mondays at Fuel we have been talking about loving each other. Adam set before us the ‘429 Challenge’. Say 429 nice things to people in the next 7 days, you can do it anyway you want. A letter, a bulletin, a message, a card, you can say it to their face. That’s about 60 nice things per day for the next 7 days. I have this nutty thing, I don’t ask “my kids” to do anything I would not do myself, and it was like God spoke to me, through Adam and said “go spread My love”. So I did. I told the kids I loved them, and sent out emails. All different, telling people the good things I loved about them. I sent all different things… I sent emails, texts, made phone calls, little cards. Letting them know what a blessing they are, every single compliment was felt whole-heartedly.

It was weird, my heart was glowing. It was like I really did have the Holy Spirit in me. It was like somehow even for one minute I got to see how God must look down on each one of us. It reminded me of all the things I love about my friends and the people I serve with at church. Somehow spreading love spreads it in your inside too. It was a blessing to me, probably more than it was a blessing to them. It changed my attitude.

I got a few different responses, the best one was the response I received from Phyllis… “thanks, mom, You’re the best mom, ever.

I challenge you to try it. Maybe do the 429 month, or even the 429 year (that’s a little over 1 per day). Think about how it will change the lives of those you love. Think about how it will change your own attitude towards people, counting blessings instead of burdens. Be sincere, there is good everywhere, because after all, God is everywhere.

Eph 4:29 -Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. (NLT)

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

How do you know?

Our lives (ok my life) tends to be nuts. It's seems I run and run. I think that I am following in God's plan. I think I am doing what I am supposed to do. I wonder if there is really healing going on in my heart and soul. I wonder with all my screw ups, am I really doing what I am supposed to do and am I truly where am I supposed to be. I sometimes stop (only for a second) and do a little evaluation. I stop to smell the daisies and count the blessings.
All in all, I think I still have a lot to work on, I have a LONG way to go, but truly, I feel like I am where I am supposed to be. I think that everyday God's healing is in my heart. I find these little "slips" that come out of my mouth that are actually good, when my speech is God's word, straight from His book. It sometimes surprises me. I speak truth, and surely I am not worthy.

Since I didn't actually finish the breast cancer walk, I have been wondering, should I do it again, only I am going to finish this time. Would that bring glory to God? Would it heal me more? The wounds of the death of my mother were (yes were) deep. But through that whole walk, the training, the fundraising, the emails, the praying, there was great healing in my heart, and yesterday I got my answer. Should I do it again? No. I was speaking of my dad and my stepmom. I don't even remember what I was talking about, probably about going to eat on Friday with my family, and I said it. I said "my dad and my mom". Not Cheryl, not my stepmom. My mom. At first, I was like "WHAT?! Did I really just say that?" because honestly, I don't know if I will ever say "hey mom" when I walk in the door, I guess maybe I will, but I don't know. But this I do know, I love her, and I'm comfortable with all of "the new family stuff" because God healed my heart.

Psalm 30:2 O LORD my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Bloom where you're planted

There was something I really wanted. Really, I mean really. But I had this long conversation with God, and He said, "but I need you to do other things". Ugh. I hate that. Can't I just have my way? Come on, please, please? Nope. It's not about you. It's about Me.
And you know, I am sitting here typing at the volunteer office, doing what I love, using a gift God gave me. He's always right. Always.

Jerm 7:23-25 23 but I gave them this command: Obey me, and I will be your God and you will be my people. Walk in all the ways I command you, that it may go well with you. 24 But they did not listen or pay attention; instead, they followed the stubborn inclinations of their evil hearts. They went backward and not forward.
I was driving home from Grace Centers of Hope, I had worked in the office, saw one of my dear friends, we met volunteering, and we have become such great friends, I was thinking on my way home how God is always faithful. How even when I am not, He is. I was thinking about things that I have gotten an answer about, I don't like the answer, and I try to go on my own. Dumb. How much easier things are when we do it God's way. When we remember that He does know better than us, how great it is when He prompts our hearts and we listen, to call a friend, to read a book. I think that's one thing that if I could tell anyone anything about God, if I could just remind myself about (sometimes I know but I forget- uh-um) that if we are faithful in God's work, in His word, and with His love. Life is so worth living.
Psalm 33:4 For the word of the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Any plans for the weekend?

This is almost a trick question... do I have plans for the weekend? Of course, but it's relaxing plans, we had dinner with "the family" (Aunt Jan & Uncle Vinnie were in town, all of us met for dinner at Olive Garden - don't get that new rollie thing with chicken) plans to celebrate Jackson's b-day, planned on cooking split pea soup (check), making pot pie for tomorrow, church and Alive, cleaning the basement, it's about half way done, and grocery shopping.

It doesn't really seem like much considering I do most of that plus usually something else, but I am excited to just enjoy some time with friends, cook, feed, and enjoy my dwelling that God has blessed me with.

I plan on reading my book tonight, and more relaxing... I kind of feel lazy, is this what most people do?

Judges 19:6 So the two of them sat down to eat and drink together. Afterward the girl's father said, "Please stay tonight and enjoy yourself."

Friday, January 18, 2008

I work in a great corporation, it is filled with a lot of great people. It also has a handful of buttheads. It's like that everywhere (if you think it's not, you haven't worked there long enough). I loved the person I worked for, I had worked for her for 7 years, I loved what I did, but I was so stressed! And I think I had the worst desk in the office (at least it was that way for me). I moved my seat about 6 weeks ago, I continued to work on the same programs, with the same people, only at a different desk under a different director, all under the assumption that I would be getting new programs and someone else (2 people) would be taking my current programs.

I moved my desk and within, say, 1 minute, my attitude changed, and the chest pain subsided. Yes, that's right, chest pain. I think the chest pains were from lack of blood movement because I was so tense. Upon leaving everyday, I would stress over work, even when my phone rang when I was off, I jumped out of my skin, hoping I would not be called in. In December I got a call, everyone was in a panic, standing in the basement of Grace Gospel Fellowship on Friday at 2PM, I didn't know really what they thought I should do. I bet at that given moment my blood pressure was 21945/3455. I think that's an unsafe level. I think.

I have started the transfer of my job to one person and the rest will transfer in the next couple of weeks. I started working with two new guys, I can't even tell you how great it is to actually like to come to work everyday, to not lead the parade at 5PM because you just can't take it anymore, to not lose your hair due to stress. To work with people you love, I loved SOME of the people I worked with before, but my new desk/assignment was heaven sent. It's "a little heaven on the way to heaven".

Thank You Jesus for moving my desk, my workload subsiding. Thank You for knowing what I need, for knowing what's best for me, and thank You for everything You have done and will continue to do because You are an awesome God, and I love You!

1 Chron 16:8 Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Going Home

Col 3:14-15 14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. 15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

I'm telling you, I have felt in the last week like I am carrying around 500 lbs of stuff. Not bad stuff but a big pile of stuff that God handed me to pray for, almost to say "here it is, do you trust Me to take care of it, pray about it, and give it back to Me."

Every Wednesday, I make the trek up to Pontiac, it's something I look forward to all week but Phyllis has Carmina Burana practice for about 6 weeks (almost 2 down) and the days vary every week, except it's on EVERY Wednesday. We were not thrilled, considering Phyllis does not like the music, and she has to miss core groups, it's been a trial, and I have to miss my Grace Gospel Fellowship Wednesdays, we are not happy, but soemtimes that's just the way it is, I need some kind of mid-week service to get me through, probably sounds completely ridiculous to some of you, but I NEED it. Yesterday I was in the car on my way home and God reminded me of First Baptist of Wyandotte's Prayer Service. Its the church that I attended when I was saved. Their pastor is great, it's exactly what they talk about when they say "your church family". It's like your first home. And I guess you really always can go back. I still get their monthly mailing, and it always makes me smile to see all the things God is doing there and how His love shines through it's members. Going to their prayer service will probably be on my calender for the next 3 weeks or so.

On my way home I was thinking about the church, I was thinking about the day I 'told' Pastor Jim's wife (Kim), " I want to be baptized on Sunday". It was a Wednesday after she had talked about Proverbs 3:5-6. I remember, like all in all important dates in your life, like it was yesterday, even though it was about 3 1/2 years ago.

Then I was thinking about my sister Sue. Everyone thought we would love each other, they thought we would be the best of friends, and we became way more than that. She is my friend, my mentor, my teacher, and most importantly, my sister. I think of Sue and smile. I made her sit next to me during prayer service, you gotta keep your sisters close you know... Thinking about all this, I still have the card she gave me years ago, taped on the inside of my doorway into my kitchen from my dining room. It looks kind of dorky, but as they say at GGF... "well..." She was in the back with me when I was baptized, we sang AND danced in the back in great celebration of what I was doing, "OOOO OOOO OOOO let it rise!! ...Let the glory of the Lord, rise among us". She's doing a prayer vigil in March, I told her that it might be against "the rules" but if she needed help, to let me know. And here's the thing, it's at "their" church but I can assure you, all are welcome. Stop up there on March 14th, let's be unified in the body of Christ.

You may play a different role, it may not be the way you remembered it, exactly, but you can always go "home".

Psalm 133:1 How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Two things I hate...

...Stomach aches (I have one right now)


And just for the record, I have a stomach ache because of a liar. Ugh.
I decided to add to this post, my stomach ache is starting to subside, I ate an apple, I will probably have to poop soon from the fiber and the indigestion caused by a knucklehead. Sorry, you should know by now, I am fascinated with poop (especially if I have been constipated). It's a natural thing, God intended for you to poop, people! you should be thrilled that you are pooping!! It means He's working in you :)
Anyway, this guy, lied, lied, lied, only this isn't the first time he's lied, he did the exact thing about 8 months ago, once bitten, twice shy, forget that crap, keep a file and be ready if they do it again. So... I pulled out my stash of evidence, slapped it down, even pulled out an email where he thanked me for my help on this subject... and now, I am moving on... jerk

Proverbs 19:22 What a man desires is unfailing love ; better to be poor than a liar

Tuesday, January 15, 2008


Do you think that sometimes we are burdened with things just to pray about them?

I said yesterday I was burdened with the 18-20-somethings of my church. Turns out I am not the only one, after sending an email to someone asking their opinion of something I could do. Funny thing is that this person said basically that I do too much... because I love... and that others were burdened with the same thing. Apparently the Holy Spirit guided me to who I should ask in order to get the answer I needed to hear.

So maybe we come together and we pray about it. Maybe we all need to pray about it seperatly and God will funnel it, and raise someone up. Not really sure.

Do you remember when you were 18-20 something? Shew, I do, and I knew the Lord, but I didn't KNOW the Lord... you know what I mean? And boy was my life jacked up. Not a pretty sight, but that's just the way it goes. And even though I know all those steps guided me to the journey I am on now, and regrets, they come and eventually they go (when I lay them down), it's still difficult. Yes, I know that God uses our bad for good and all that, but what if somehow we could guide those 'youngin's' to live a life on the narrow path, and when they fall off the narrow path, it's not nearly bad of a fall as it could be. what if we can open their eyes to keep them from going into debt so they start their early years debt free, so what if they don't sit on great furniture and it's a hand-me-down, so what?! I think it makes you appreciate it all the more when you get new stuff (and it's even better when you can afford it).

I just know that I love this generation, and I think in everything there is a season... and right now, I think it's a season of prayer, hard-core prayer.

Ecc 3:1-14
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

9 What does the worker gain from his toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on men. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. 13 That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.


I will probably have a real post later today but I wanted to share a couple "newer" products I've tried lately, that I have LOVED LOVED LOVED!

3 Favorite Lean Cuisines
Chicken Carbonara (really not new, but it's a favorite) but you MUST add extra peas!!
Chicken with Peanut Sauce... you must add extra snap peas
Grilled Chicken Primavera.. even if it's twice the veggies... you still may need some extra

I love veggies!!

I love the new Green Giant steamfresh snap peas!! so good!! And new to the market Green Giant immunity boost veggies! I added the immunity one to the chicken primavera, they were really good!!

It's so hard to plan and especially in the winter have good veggies because everything seems to be so 'mealy' but give those a try. The veggies go on sale at Kroger 3/$5 also I found some coupons in the paper! FYI if you are in the Detroit area, Kroger is doubling coupons up to $1!!

Monday, January 14, 2008


Phil 9:10 9And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, 10so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ

I am terribly burdened right now. Most of it has nothing to do with me, but I wish there was something I could do to help. I am a fixer, if I was a man, I would probably work in construction or as a handy man or something.

I have a long list of things I pray for , I have a long list of things that God has burdened my heart with, almost as if to ask me to pick them up, put them in a basket, and lay the basket at the foot of His cross. I know that sounds weird, because I know God doesn’t need me, He is big enough, strong enough, smart/wise enough, I am just one of His servants.

I’ll be honest, if you were to hear my pray outloud, you’d either laugh or you’d think that I am not very close to God, because in my head, I don’t pray really like I think I pray outloud. God and I, we have conversations. Back and forth, just like you’d talk to a friend, not like those people you see on TV or Sara or Katie or Megan who pray so eloquently, I just talk to Him, sometimes not even saying Lord or God or anything. We just talk.

Adam gave us this sermon by Howard (I think Moody but I am really not sure) about prayer. He said in the sermon, you can’t move any further until you pray, you can pray and move forward but you can’t move forward without prayer. Hmmm.. How true is that? I’ve been known to run in circles 100mph trying to figure out the way, it’s when I stop for a minute or 2 or 120 that I get my clear direction, I’m getting a lot better at stopping first. Still got some work to do, but I am getting there, step by step.

Friday and Sunday, two people from my past popped up, pretty much out of nowhere, startled me a bit, wondering what was going on, what did I do, I stopped and prayed I think my exact words were “what the heck is going on?”… “just reminding you where I brought you from…” In my heart, I know that based on past experience, there’s a bump coming. That’s just how it is. If God is reminding me where I came from, I better remember to hold on, and hold on to Him I will. It might be a slight bump or a big, rip the tires off your wheels kind of pothole, this I know, I’m holding on with both hands, tight.

I feel this tremendous burden for the 20-somethings in our church. I mean like make your stomach hurt, you can’t breath kind of burden. I remember when I was 20, ugh, never would I go back, even knowing what I know now. Forget it. NO WAY, you get the picture. We had this tremendous ministry for them, Axis, for a lot of reasons, it was cancelled, leaving this group with nothing, I would love to do something, start a life group for them, help them get through what they need to get through, kick them in the rear end if necessary, but I don’t know if I am ready, because I know, I can’t move forward with it until I pray about it, listen to the plan of God and find out if I really belong in it. It might not be my cross to pick up, my job may be to just pray about the leader who will be doing the doing. I am not sure, but I’m burdened, so I will be praying.

I know how significant prayer is, I know it moves mountains, when we pray, God hears every word, and more importantly, He hears our hearts. We are having a prayer gathering for our teens on Friday at 8pm, I welcome you (ok, I’m begging you) to stand in the gap for our kids, I welcome you to come pray with them and our ministries, you can do it at home or at the church.

Matthew 21:22 If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Gramma is everywhere

Gramma never leaves me, not one of those spiritual "she's with me wherever I go" like a ghost thing, but like she'll never leave my memory banks.

Friday night Phyllis and I did a bunch of running around... we got some ice cream and I pulled out the dessert bowls that I always ate in at Gramma's house, although at Gramma's it was always 'heavenly hash', not whatever kind of ice cream we had Friday, it wasn't that good to be honest. But it made me smile, reminded me of so many details, even the ice cream scoop she used to have.

Then yesterday we were at Grace Centers of Hope in the pantry, straightening canned goods, and the girls were working on getting all the mixed vegetables together, not mixed in with peas and carrots. And Phyllis and I were talking about holidays and mixed veggies. We always had mixed vegetables at every holiday because Gramma said that way everyone could have their favorite. Most of us hate mixed vegetables, but it's funny.

I was in church today, just about to pop a piece of gum in my mouth, and I swear I could have heard my gram say "there's no gum allowed in church" but if I was good I could have a lifesaver. Must have been some Catholic thing, but it made me chuckle.

Thank God for memories, they make us smile.

Esther 9:28 These days should be remembered and observed in every generation by every family, and in every province and in every city. And these days of Purim should never cease to be celebrated by the Jews, nor should the memory of them die out among their descendants.

Friday, January 11, 2008

I can do what I can do

I was in a meeting today, thinking/praying about all the issues that I have spinning around me (read my post from earlier today). I (ok God told me) can do what I can do. Can I make a leader be ethical? Nope. Can I keep him from being motivated by money? That would be a big fat NOPE.

You know what I can do? I can lead a life that if God-honoring. I can impact the world, one teenager, one family member, one friend, one child at a time by one thing. Love. I can love. My signature on my email says “Live life in such a way that those who don't know Jesus will come to know Jesus because they know you” That’s all I can do, and sometimes that signature applies to those who know Jesus too.

I keep thinking about my dad. He lead by example, I’ve heard him at work (because I worked with him at the insurance company) say no to things that weren’t right and sometimes get in hot water for it. When I worked with him, I did the same thing, someone MUCH higher asked me to do something that would have benefited them for a minute but would have set an entire program back, costing money. And later, I received an apology, and the woman even spoke to my dad about it.

It’s not that I carry this big tally board that says “TGW” & “TGR”. (In the automotive world is Things Gone Wrong & Things Gone Right). If I did, I am sure my tally would be far greater on the TGW. Thankfully, I live under Jesus and His grace.

I can affect the world, I can be a leader in my home, and to those who know/love/hate me by loving them, and being a little more like Jesus everyday. I have kids and friends and lovers and doubters of Jesus looking at me, and I am just going to keep on loving.

Matt 7:1-5 1"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye

I wanna barf!

Proverbs 16:2 Pride leads to disgrace,
but with humility comes wisdom

I know, real lady-like, I wanna barf, but I do. It never ceases to amaze me how God starts a work in my heart, right before He is about to reveal something to me. Twice this week I have wanted to kick the throne out from underneath some 'kings'. Not to say that they are kings, but it is much more likely, they think they are kings. I typically don't do too well with people who are arrogant or conceited. I wonder what they see in the mirror, because I'm looking at them, and I just don't see what they are getting themselves all worked up about. Ever think that when you look in the mirror you see the opposite of what you are? That's your reflection, it's the opposite of what you are.

Acts 8:20 Peter answered: "May your money perish with you, because you thought you could buy the gift of God with money!

And I simply wonder, what is at the root of all this? Money. Greed. I see it all around me, I work in a large corporation where people are scratching and clawing their way to bigger houses, but no matter how big your house, if your heart is not filled with God, it's just a bigger space to be empty. I see how people live, because I watch. Money, my dear friends, is not everything, and while we need it to survive, I would rather go back to a life of mac & cheese and corn for meals than to eat filet mignon and lobster if I have to live one single day out of the plan of God. If I am doing something unethical or immoral, I can't sleep at night, I can't even be involved. I just can't.

Proverbs 11:5 The righteousness of the blameless makes a straight way for them, but the wicked are brought down by their own wickedness.

I have a ton of praying to do, I am not sure how this is all going to play out, I know one thing for sure, I know God will be with me, wiping me tears, holding my hand, and kicking to the curb any moron who gets in His way.

“In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and he answered by setting me free. The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?”- Psalm 118:5-6

Thursday, January 10, 2008

The best gifts

I love the new Crowder CD, Remedy, a must have if you ask me. I am a Crowder fan, I think the song 'Glorious' was written for me, but I am sure that God had a couple others in mind when He gave Crowder the words, but that song is probably one of my favorites. I love every song on the CD. I would highly recommend picking it up or downloading it or doing pretty much whatever you need to do to get your hands on it.

Since I love the CD so much, I picked it up for my friend Kevin. Truth is, I really have no idea what kind of music he listens to, but I felt like I should pick it up for him. Only to find out he likes gospel music, however, I was also drawn to the new Kirk Franklin CD while I was in Family Christian, I only listened to three songs while driving around lost in Pontiac. I instantly thought of Sara during the song Declaration. I am a Kirk Franklin fan as well, I really just love music. Especially God-breathed music.

The Crowder CD ended up in the hands of the beautiful Ann Marie, my new Kirk Franklin, in the hands of Kevin. Funny, I laugh to myself because I had this whole plan, and God just rearranged it a little.

Pick up/Download both CDs, you won't be sorry. And if the spirit leads you, give them away :)

Romans 5:5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us

Prayer Please

Please say a prayer for my friend, Kevin. Pray that God wraps right around him, that He eases Kevin's anxiety.

Lord, please wrap around Kevin, Lord, I ask that You send him signs to remind him how much YOU love him. Lord, I ask that You ease his anxiety, Lord, give him peace. Lord, I also ask that the position that is open, Lord, open all the doors, let those who are in charge on this earth to appoint Kevin to the job, do it quickly, Lord. Let their hearts and minds be open. Lord, we love You, in Jesus' mighty name. Amen.

Matthew 6:25-34 25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? 28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008


I am reading my book, Captivating, slowly but surely. The problem isn't that I am not interested in the book, the problem is that I am so interested in the book and the scripture that goes along with it, that I spend a lot of time in thought, that it takes me forever to read it. I love the book.

I have lived most of my life in survival mode. Well, at least the last 15 years, I have had to scrap with doctors for the well-being and health of my daughter, I have worked 4 jobs in order to just survive, literally. I have gone without. And truth be told, I am tired of being strong. This momma bear is ready to rely and live with a strong, Christian man.

I am attracted to strong men. Men who can sit facing the door so that if anything were to happen, it's taken care of before it happens. Men who can make a decision and say "I understand your feelings, but truly, this is what's best for our family", and men who can be so strong that they say "you are right, this is what's best for our family". Unfortunatly, like I said a couple days ago, strong leadership is not the same as strong personality, although they do sometimes walk hand in hand. I have dated men who have strong personalities, and who also abuse such power. Men who surely didn't understand the gem they had in me, and would have rather buried me in the dirt then to allow me to sparkle. Not to say that I am wonderful, but in God, I am a gem.

In reading this book, I read yesterday about how men were made to be strong, because like us, they were made in God's image, a strong warrior, able to defeat those who are against us. And woman, she was made to be beautiful, in God's image, (Song 4:9, 15). I think God made me to be more beautiful and less strong. And in the last years I have had to be strong, that's where my focus was, out of survival.

I'm ready to put down my club and be who I was intended to be, beautiful.

Rev 18:1 After this I saw another angel coming down from heaven. He had great authority, and the earth was illuminated by his splendor

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Youth Groups

We got somecrazy kids in our youth group. While they are crazy, they are completely loved. COMPLETELY, 100% loved by a God who is so big!

I was thinking, after looking at another youth group on the web, man, our youth group doesn't look anything like that. Really. I mean, they look like poster children for heaven, perfect hair, blond hair, blue-eyed, big smiled kids. Our kids just don't look like that. Pick a color, any color, and we've probably got a kid who looks like that. And piercings, shew, can I go on and on about piercings, snake bites, gages, yikes. Smile for the camera, are you kidding, most of the time I have to threaten them that i will post one all by themselves if they won't get in the pictures, sheesh.

I am not sure what goes on in the mind of youth pastors all over the world, and if they were to picture a youth group, would they paint one that looks like ours? I don't know.

But this I know, in God's mind, our youth group is a masterpiece. God's master piece. A bunch of kids, and leaders, who have tatoos, skateboards, sewing kits, guitars, crazy hair, on their knees screaming for and about a God who came down and saved them. He saved them eternally, and He saved them right where they stood. With one thing. Love.

Love is an amazing thing, it makes you see things that aren't there, and it makes you see things in heightened awareness, it somehow helps you give allowances (thanks Katie) for things that drive you nuts, and it saves you were you stand.

Love love love. All the world needs is love.

Psalm 5:11 But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you


Been thinking a lot about leadership lately. What qualities make good leaders and which ones don't. Lately the examples I have seen are how not to be.

While my father was never head of a big corporation or carried a big title, he is a great leader, he's a do-er leader. He's a hands on, I won't ask you to do it if I won't do it kind of leader. He's got integrity and WILL not do anything that would compromise what he knows is right, even at the risk of losing position or not attaining a great title. My dad did not embark in adventures that could have caused him stress and eventually caused him to make the wrong choice.

I look at leaders of the past, and I look at leaders today, and I look at the children who will one day become the leaders of the future. You want to know something? I'm scared. I look at leaders today who make the wrong decisions for the "right" reasons. I see that strong personalities are being mistaken for strong leadership qualities. How people talk to others is probably high on my list of traits to discover the kind of leader people are/can be. And do your actions match your words? That whole actions thing, my daughter has it completely down, boy, there are people in her life that she keeps at a distance because their actions do not match their words, and no matter how hard they try, they will never get close to her, she has a wicked action/words meter, and she will watch for a long time before she will really trust you, people mistake it for her not liking them, but really, she's just checking you out.

While I believe that I have leadership qualities, I believe I also have a lot of things that I need to work on, like my strong personality. I think that God is showing me good/not so good traits in others, helping me to refine myself for the next leg of tHis journey.

Romans 12:3-8 3For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. 4Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his[b]faith. 7If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; 8if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully

Monday, January 07, 2008

I met a beautiful young woman yesterday. I mean beautiful. In this beautiful woman's life is much pain. And as I was speaking to her, I was telling her she needed to let it go, while it would not be easy, she needed to just lay it down at the foot of the cross, and while that would not be easy, that's the only way she will ever get over it.

Only God can bring us that healing.

And as I was speaking to her, I think the Holy Spirit was speaking to me. I could have laughed out loud in joy about how much God loves me. "If you just aren't going to get it Margie, I will show you in another way". Wow. and Duh.

My heart breaks for this young woman, I could have just cried along with her, and she probably never even know what a blessing she was to me yesterday.

2 Thes 2:16-17 16May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, 17encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.

Saturday, January 05, 2008


Today is Phyllis's birthday. Presents, Roma's, and a party. Man, do I love that kid. She truly is a gift from God.

While shopping I was thinking about the people who have come into my life in the last year. I don't think I could be more blessed.

Friday, January 04, 2008

Comin' down with somethin'

Matthew 22:37-39 37Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'

Pastor Clark often talks about the same thing in different ways. In that respect he kind of reminds me of God, because I think that God tries to teach us the same thing in different ways until we get it. I believe with all my heart that the Holy Spirit speaks through Pastor Clark on a regular basis.

The other day he was speaking about this disease you get when you are saved by Jesus. Its a case of the 'can't help it'. I laughed out loud at how absolutely true that is. You 'can't help' talking about Jesus and all He's done for you, You 'can't help' but be a little nicer (and sometimes a lot nicer) to those that you know and those you don't know, you 'can't help' but serve, and you 'can't help' but notice all the blessings that God has given you, and you just 'can't help' shouting 'thank You, Jesus' or 'there is a God that loves me'. You just 'can't help' it.

I'm a volunteer, I am Youth Staff, and if my body would allow me, I'd do a lot more. That is, if I didn't have to sleep or work. But since working and sleeping are pretty necessary, I do what I can. Sometimes I just show up, do something, and leave. I'm often accused of doing too much for others, and in my heart, I think, I just don't do enough. I think of all the times I don't call someone on their birthday or how I can't do something if someone schedules their event on a Sunday because Sunday is reserved for church and Alive!, and I hope that I don't hurt their feelings. I think of all Jesus has done for me, I know I can never out give Him, but I can show others what He has done for me, so hopefully they will open their hearts and He can do it for them too.

I have this nutty, crazy, almost unexplainable disease, a case of the 'can't help it'. And there is nothing that I would rather do than get a case of the 'can't help it' and forget about myself, and think of others. Because after all God has done for me, I just 'can't help' but love Him.

“He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”- Micah 6:8

Thursday, January 03, 2008


I think grace and forgiveness go hand in hand. Upon thinking about my birthday somehow this one person, while I think they try, always disappoints me. Forgets my birthday, gets me something that just doesn't isn't me. it happens almost every year. And each year, I try to move past it. I try to forgive. "do they do it on purpose?" No, I don't think they do, but that doesn't mean it hurts any less. Forgiveness isn't about them, it's about the person who is the forgiver. Resentment, sadness, disappointment, it all has to be let go by the person who was hurt whether or not the "culprit" did it on purpose.

Here's the one thing I really thought about yesterday. Am I really forgiving if I keep churning it up? Am I dropping it on the ocean floor if I can't seem to let it go? If I say "every year it seems to be the same thing?" This year, I feel, ungreatful. I feel like they got me a gift and for some reason, they think it was something I like, even though I am disappointed because I will never use it for myself, and after all, aren't birthdays about us? Phyllis will get some good stuff, because I will use it for her, and I would rather give than recieve anyway, so maybe it was the perfect gift for me.

But I really do need to forgive and FORGET. I really need to work on this one...

Luke 6:37 37"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

The mistakes I've made
That caused pain
I could have done without
All my selfish thoughts
All my pride
The things I hide
You have forgot about

They're all behind you
They'll never find you
They're on the ocean floor
Your sins are forgotten
They're on the bottom
Of the ocean floor

My misdeeds
All my greed
All the things that haunt me now
They're not a pretty sight to see
But they're wiped away
By a mighty wave
A mighty wave, mighty wave

They're all behind you
They'll never find you
They're on the ocean floor
Your sins are forgotten
They're on the bottom
Of the ocean floor

Take them away
To return no more
Take them away
To the ocean floor

I've come to realize

I love these stupid surveys, I will have a real post l8r.

1. I have come to realize that my butt: is way bigger than i thought it would ever be.
2. I have come to realize that when I talk: most people don't listen, and the ones that do are the only ones I should focus on anyway.
3. I have come to realize that I need: sign back up at Weight Watchers.
4. I have come to realize that I lost: my mind and nobody cares.
5. I have come to realize that I hate it when: I am not in control
6. I have come to realize that marriage: God-breathed, and be a lot of work but totally worth it.
7. I have come to realize that work: is something I do, not who I am.
8. I have come to realize that I will always be: youth staff of some kind.
9. I have come to realize that I like: to love.
10. I have come to realize that the last time I cried: yesterday out of disappointment.
11. I have come to realize that my cell phone is: my favorite accessory.
12. I have come to realize that before I go to sleep at night: praying is the best way to get a good night's sleep.
13. I am currently thinking about: saying no to something I really want.
14. I have come to realize that babies: should be taught about Jesus from the moment that they take their first breath.
15. I have come to realize that when I get on Myspace: I could spend hours on it with the kids.
16. I have come to realize that today I will: be a blessing to someone.
17. I have come to realize that tonight I will: sleep well.
18. I have come to realize that tomorrow I will: I don't know, tomorrow really never comes.
19. Where's the best place to eat a romantic dinner? home.
20. What did you want to be when you were growing up? teacher.
21. How many colleges did you attend? Three, I would like to make it 4.
22. Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now? Because it was clean.
23. If you could visit anywhere and take someone with you...I'd take my friend to the canery islands (I am already taking Phyllis to Austria)
24. What errand/chore do you despise? taking out the garbage.
25. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer at an art gallery? nope, i would volunteer more at GCH
26. What is your favorite cartoon character? Lucy from Charlie Brown, we are the same.
27. Are you planning on remaining in your current field? for a little while .
28. Beach or lake? Lake, on the boat
29. What's your drink? iced tea .
30. Cowboys or Indians? Indians.
31. Cops or Robbers? robbers.
32. Who from high school would you like to run into? Ahmed Durbas, all the people I would want to see, I already do
33. Have you ever had to use a firearm? No, and i hope i never do.
34. Last book you read? currently reading captivating, learning a lot about myself.
35, Do you have a teddy bear? yes, my first one and a big white teddy bear.
36. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go? all over, but if i had to pick one place, San Diego to the zoo.
37. Number of texts in a day? depends.
38. If you had to choose- would you start a new career or relationship? I'd like to pick enhancing a current relationship
39. How many jobs have you had? about 9 at different places, and 5 at my current employer.
40. Are you where you thought you would be at this age? No, I thought I would be married with 6 kids. But I am so glad I am where I am, God's plan is way better than mine.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Things that surprise me and things that don't

2 Corin 10:3-5 3For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

I happen to be one of those people who are not shocked by the shocking and most shocked by the expected.

That probably makes no sense to you.

Yesterday, a war was raged. All God's army under attack. Not at all surprised by the battle that soon became war. Not at all. Sad, but not surprised. See, I know that when those who love Jesus, and a God who loves us, when they work and they serve and they love, satan's blood, it boils. And little by little, he tries to get in, he tries to get secrets started, he tries to get into hearts, he tries to embarrass us, he tries to belittle us, he tries to use our weakness against us, but the thing is that when we Unite! against him, when we go straight to God for our power and our weapons (which the biggest one is love), when we rally together, when we pray, when we talk to each other, when we LOVE, we cannot, I mean, we will not lose. I can't tell you the details, but please, if you have just one minute, just pray for those involved. God knows every detail, and He WILL take care of it all.

Isa 54:17 no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from me," declares the LORD.

I had a great birthday, I spent it with "my kids". They must have said happy birthday a gazillion times. They sang, and hugged me! it was amazing. Phyllis made me a pillow for the couch that says "count it all joy" (James 1:2) and gave me a gift certificate for Weight Watchers (I asked for it). I was surprised by one gift I received. I actually cried, and they weren't tears of joy. They were the kind of tears you cry when it occurs to you that the people around you either just really don't know you, or they don't care to. I was... shocked. Like fall of my chair, klunk my head, shocked. But as I am typing this, I am realizing that it was satan's plan again. Knock me off center, one degree at a time, and before I know it, I've done a 180 and I'm going the wrong direction. Jerk. But my feet, they are firmly planted.

2008 started at Grace Adventure camp, and giving and receiving grace and love is the great adventure.

Eph 6:10-20 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
19Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should