Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Saturday, December 29, 2007

New Year's - A new year

A bunch of people have asked me what I am doing for new years. It's my birthday you know. So I should be doing something exciting. I guess people equate that with a big party.

I'm spending my time with the kids from our Youth Group... about 60 teens will be on the Unite Retreat, about 15 leaders give or take a few. One real beauty, you may have heard me talk about her, Phyllis is her name.

I'm excited! It may not sound like the greatest way to spend 3 days, but I really can't think of a better way to begin the new year than to spend it with "my kids". Love all of them, even though they get on my nerves sometimes.

New Years always comes with resolutions... the same one, I want to lose weight, that's always first, but not this year. It's in the top ten, but I think of anything, I would like to connect with God more. Be more open to what He has in store for me, get on my knees a little more (out of love, not desperation). More about Him, and way less about me. I think, ok, I know, the rest will fall into place. I look back on the last year, more ups than downs. And the UPS were way up and the downs, didn't seem to be too far down. A lot of letting go, and a lot of holding on. A lot more time on my knees, literally and figuratively than ever before (some desperation, sometimes out of love). Learning more about who I am in God, and less of who I am without Him, because that doesn't really matter anyway. A lot more tears spent because of joy than in sadness.

I'm looking forward to 2008, I think it's going to be great! HA! God has moved some big fat mountains this year in my life so that my view was better than ever, I can't wait to see what He has in store for me in 2008!

Be Encouraged
Be Blessed
Be a Blessing!!
You are loved!

Here's one of my favorites:

Romans 8:18-39
18I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 19The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. 20For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.
22We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? 25But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

26In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
31What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Dreams Fulfilled

All my life I have wanted a big family, and unless you've been sleeping while reading my blog, you know I know have one, two brothers, sister in laws, new aunt & uncle, a couple cousins (one I met this past week), a mom, and 3 nephews and 1 niece. And a new Gramma & a Quinton.

I wonder all these years, I dreamed, and wished, and prayed for a family. All these years. How many years I wanted someone to be a real aunt and uncle to my daughter, not a great or a friedn you call aunt and uncle. I had almost (ALMOST) given up hope, thinking that they only way that would happen is if I got married, and lately I've almost (ALMOST) given up hope on that too. And BAM! I get that family I've always wished for.

It's pretty amazing. God's timing. He knows just when the timing is right for the puzzle to all be put together, it's super cool.

I find that the more I submit to Him, the more the blessing come, or maybe the blessings have always been there, it's when I am on my knees that I see them more clearly.

James 4:10 10Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up

James 4:15 15Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

The day after

Today is the day after Christmas. It's been a week (ok a month) of training for Christmas which really means the only stretching I've been doing is my stomach and my pants.

It was probably the best Christmas I've had in a long long time. It wasn't about presents (though I got some great ones!) it was about remembering Jesus throughout the whole season, it was about receiving these crazy blessings all around me, it was was about watching other people receive blessings all around me, it was amazing, God sure loves us, doesn't He?

So the real after math of Christmas isn't all the gifts I have to return, it's starting back on my diet. It's about getting serious and being focused, and throwing out cookies. I'm not going to wait until New Years. I'm starting (again!) today.

I say every time I can do it this time, and this time will be it. I will get back on track and I will reach my goal, because I need to. And with God's help, I'll make it.

Gal 3:3 3Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas!!
Love to all of you!!
From us...

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”- Isaiah 9:6

Monday, December 24, 2007

Favorite Christmas Song

My favorite Christmas song this year!

Here we are
Here we are
The broken and used
Mistreated, abused
Here we are

Here You are
Here You are
The beautiful one
Who came like a Son
Here You are

So we lift up our voices
We open our hands
To cling to the love
That we can’t comprehend

Oh, lift up your voices
And lift up your heads
To sing of the love
That has freed us from sin

He is the one
Who has saved us
He is the one
Who embraced us
He is the one who has come
And is coming again
He’s the remedy

Here we are
Here we are
Bandaged and bruised
Awaiting a cure
Here we are

Here You are
Here You are
Our beautiful King
Bringing relief
Here You are with us

So we lift up our voices
And open our hands
Let go of the things
That have kept us from Him

He is the one
Who has saved us
He is the one
Who forgave us
He is the one who has come
And is coming again
He’s the remedy

Oh, I can’t comprehend
I can’t take it all in
Never understand
Such perfect love come
For the broken and beat
For the wounded and weak
Oh, come fall at His feet
He’s the remedy
He’s the remedy

So sing, sing

You are the one
Who has saved us
You are the one
Who forgave us
You are the one who has come
And is coming again
To make it alright
Oh, to make it alright
You’re the remedy
Oh, in us
You’re the remedy

Let us be the remedy
Let us bring the remedy

Sunday, December 23, 2007

What are you praising God for?

Our pastor asked us what we were thankful for today at church. It was a different kind of service today, Metro Unplugged because we had no power. Funny when we plan and God laughs. HA!

And my list was miles long. What am I thankful for? Hmmm...

I could go on and on (and if you know me on and on and on and on and on).

I'm thankful for a God who loves me...

... for a place to serve and spread His love to kids (Alive and Fuel)
... for having so many dear friends that I can't name them all here.
... for having a healthy daughter (there were many years I didn't have that)
... for a new wonderful family
... for an old wonderful family
... to have enough money to buy groceries this year after Christmas
... for Grace Centers of Hope

... for you

and for Him...

Merry Christmas! May God bless your socks right off!!

James 1:17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows

Thursday, December 20, 2007

A letter

I got this email, and I loved it, a letter from God. The list below is all kind of obvious if you ask me. I was having a conversation with someone about every imposing their religious beliefs on Christians. Now, I will tell you, I don’t believe all that crap about all roads lead to heaven. One way. That’s it. Who is the truth, the way, and the life? And who is the only one we can get to heaven through? Uh, yeah, that’s Jesus. But I found this letter pretty funny and enlightening.

Dear Children,
It has come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are taking My name out of the season.

How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most easily
understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your own.

I don't care what you call the day. If you want to celebrate My birth,
just GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER. (and by the way, trying to run me over in the parking lot at Target only to get to stand behind me in line at Bed Bath & Beyond is kind of funny, and it proves, if you are not nice, God will surely inflict His sense of Humor on you)

Now, having said that let Me go on. If it bothers you that the town in
which you live doesn't allow a scene depicting My birth, then just get rid
of a couple of Santas and snowmen and put in a small Nativity scene on
your own front lawn. (AMEN, and BTW, it’s Jesus we worship, not a Nativity scene, and I think it was Sara who once told me, He’s in your heart, not on your walls (or your yard or at your city’s city hall)).

If all My followers did that there wouldn't be any need for such a scene
on the town square because there would be many of them all around town.

Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a 'holiday
tree', instead of a 'Christmas tree'. It was I who made all trees. You
can remember Me anytime you see any tree. Decorate a grape vine if you wish:
I actually spoke of that one in a teaching, explaining who I am in
relation to you and what each of our tasks were. If you have forgotten that one,
look up John 15: 1 - 8. And by the way, if they call it a holiday tree, if you love Jesus, you know which holiday you are referring to

If you want to give Me a present in remembrance of My birth here is my
wish list. Choose something from it:

1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way My birthday is
being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers away from
home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this time of year. I know, they
tell Me all the time.

2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You don't have to know them
personally. They just need to know that someone cares about them.

3. Instead of writing George complaining about the wording on the cards
his staff sent out this year, why don't you write and tell him that you'll be
praying for him and his family this year. Then follow up. It will be nice
hearing from you again.

4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can't afford and
they don't need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of My birth,
and why I came to live with you down here. Hold them in your arms and remind
them that I love them.

5. Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive him or her.

6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take their own
life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless? Since you
don't know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm smile; it
could make the difference.

7. Instead of nit picking about what the retailer in your town calls the
holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a warm
smile and a kind word even if they aren't allowed to wish you a 'Merry
Christmas'. That doesn't keep you from wishing them one. Then stop
shopping there on Sunday. If the store didn't make so much money on that day
they'd close and let their employees spend the day at home with their families

8. If you really want to make a difference, support a missionary--
especially one who takes My love and Good News to those who have never
heard My name.

9. Here's a good one. There are individuals and whole families in your
town who not only will have no 'Christmas' tree, but neither will they
have any presents to give or receive. If you don't know them, buy some food
and a few gifts and give them to the Salvation Army or some other charity
which believes in Me and they will make the delivery for you.

10. Finally, if you want to make a statement about your belief in and
loyalty to Me, then behave like a Christian. Don't do things in secret
that you wouldn't do in My presence. Let people know by your actions that you
are one of mine.

Don't forget; I am God and can take care of Myself. Just love Me and do
what I have told you to do. I'll take care of all the rest. . Check out the
list above and get to work; time is short and I'll help you, but the ball is
now in your court. And do have a most blessed Christmas with all those
whom you love . . . and remember,


Merry Christmas!!

John 15:1-8 1"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. 8This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

Christmas list and Christmas MEME

I have a couple of lists today... A Christmas MEME and my Christmas list
Weight Watcher's gift certificates (really, I want them)
KitchenAid mixing bowl (I need like 5)
Message Bible of my own
A mind because apparently I have lost mine
The movie Invincible
New black boots that are inpracticle in the snow but look cute with jeans

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? wrapping gifts
2. Real tree or artificial? Artificial but i would love a real one
3. When do you put up the tree? usually the day before thanksgiving
4. When do you take the tree down? Day after Christmas, presents all get put away too.
5. Do you like eggnog? NO!!!! eggs sugar milk, unless those are the in a cookie, forget it
6. Favorite gift received as a child? cabbage patch kid from the K's
7. Do you have a nativity scene? yes, a few, Precious Moments one that never comes down, one that was from my Gram, and one one the tree
8. Hardest person to buy for? Dad & Cheryl
9. Easiest person to buy for? Phyllis and Sara
10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? can't remember
11. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail - I love getting cards but now I am doing the email cards because who can afford postage for crying outloud.
12. Favorite Christmas Movies: White Christmas, and they can burn it's a wonderful life as far as I am concerned!!
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? October
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? I am sure I have, but i can't pick one out
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? everything at the K's
16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? colored
17. Five Favorite Christmas songs? Oh Holy Night, Silent Night, Mary Did You Know, Come Oh Come Emmanuel, Hark the Herald Angels Sing
18. Most Annoying Christmas song? Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer, Hippo Song
19. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home
20. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Sleepy, Doc, Grumpy, Happy, and stupid
21. Angel or Star on top of the tree? Angel
22. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? both
23. Most annoying thing about this time of year? people.
24. Favorite Christmas Apparel? Something comfy.
25. What I love most about Christmas? Being with family.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Your bible

If your bible is falling apart, your life is probably together.

Adam & Katie have a sign at their house that says that. How about that? How true is that?

We live in the days of Audio books,, internet, all things can somehow become technical.

I don't know how many bibles I have, I owned only one for awhile. In 2001 I inherited a Catholic bible that was Father Jack's (my dad's uncle - my great uncle) prior to that I had picked up a NKJV bible but rarely opened it, I found the NKJV difficult to read, I thought no wonder people don't read the bible. In 2003, however I picked up the Women of Faith NIV version. I loved it, however it was hardcover so it came with me to church and stayed at home because it was so heavy. You know I am not home very often, and I would find myself some place and I would want to look something up, however I did not have my bible with me. It was marked in, and highlighted. GASP! I was always taught that you do not write in books but I decided to throw caution to the wind and write away.

About a year ago I decided I really needed a bible to keep in my purse. However, those teeny tiny ones are far too small to try to find a phrase, you can read them. So Family Christian had this great sale, bibles for $12.99. They had a pink one or a really pretty Navy Blue one. I bought the pink one even though blue is my favorite color and I actually don't like pink. It seemed kind of funny to me. (And as a side note, I thought the bible was the greatest selling book of all time, why are they so expensive?) I carry my pink bible in my purse, not because I think I am some holier than though thou kind of person, I carry it with me because I use it. I may end up somewhere that I have a minute, I take the time to read my bible or someone may ask me a question, and I try to find it in there. There are pictures, and notes from people in my bible. There's all kinds of stuff. It looks like i don't really take care of it, but honestly, it takes care of me, not the other way around.

When someone has their bible sitting next to me, I always pick it up, I know it sounds wierd, but I check to see if it's used. There are a lot of people in my life that I look up to, and with that being said, I want to make sure they are using the correct resources.

John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

He's here...

I am easily distracted by the outside world. I walk into work, a cute snowman ornament on my desk. So cute, so thoughtful. WOW! Thanks God for putting me on someone’s heart.

Megan gave us all baskets for Christmas. It was so very thoughtful, although I felt like a huge jerk because I didn’t give her anything.

My neighbor had cookies waiting for me when I got home yesterday… yummm…

Having lunch with someone that I used to work with, can’t wait to see him, can’t wait to hear how God is working in his life. I worked with him when I first started at Lear, his wife was my Mary Kay lady, they are both HUGE blessings. HUGE!

Now, you would think that should put me in the spirit, the real spirit, the spirit of the whole reason why we celebrate. Instead, I get distracted by this butthole, but I didn’t use the word butt when I was describing him, but I will keep it clean here kiddies. I think my blood pressure shot to about 1453/6543 if that’s even possible, I now have a headache.

And then I called a dear friend, I just really called her to hear her voice. I know that sounds completely nuts, “hello, this is Marilyn” shew, there’s Jesus.

We talked about Grace, an undeserved gift. There’s Jesus. In a world that doesn’t know Him, and for those of us who live in this world and are distracted from Him, I’m glad He’s always there.

Salvation is here. And it’s a Brighter Day!

Luke 1:68-70 68"Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, because he has come and has redeemed his people. 69He has raised up a horn[a] of salvation for us in the house of his servant David 70(as he said through his holy prophets of long ago)

Monday, December 17, 2007


Happy Freaking Holidays People!

What the heck is going on around here??

First of all, Why did the snow come on Saturday night instead of Sunday night? I could have had an extra day off, and it could have been possible that Phyllis would have had 2 snow days instead of one!

I work in automotive which means that we get all the time between Christmas and my birthday off, which is a blessing. But that also means that we have a lot to do in the next few days (and I am off on Friday so it only makes it worse). People have needed to do something for two weeks, and have decided to LIE and say it was my fault, thankfully, I never get rid of email, and so... I am exanurated. jerks.

I'm sick of cancer. My girlfriend's dad is full of it (cancer) and I don't like it one bit. (please pray for Mr. Dacpano and my friend Cat).

My Christmas shopping is almost done, just gotta get the gift cards.

But then... in the midst of all my rambling, Romans 5 comes to mind. Out of nowwhere :)

Hope. Hope in Christ. Merry Christmas! A savior is born. that's how quick God can pull me out of the pit, remind me what He's is. He's a million things, in Isaiah 9
1 Nevertheless, there will be no more gloom for those who were in distress...
6 For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, [b] Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Am I the only one who is blown away by it? PEACE! No more gloom! Hope! HOPE! HOPE!!

That's what it's all about, not snow days, not liars, not cancer, it's about a God who loves us, in whom we have HOPE!

Romans 5:1-11 1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[a]have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we[b] rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we[c] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
6You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. 8But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
9Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! 10For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! 11Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Nothing Inspirational today

I read this poem a long time ago, it's on my fridge... and today I was reminded of it after being punched (not literally only figuratively) in the stomach. If you are wondering "are you ok?" the answer is yes and no. Yes because it is well with my soul, but no because even though it's "well", it still hurts.

After a while
you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't always promises

and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and and your eyes ahead with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers
And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong and you really do have worth and you learn and you learn
with every good-bye you learn

Friday, December 14, 2007

Christmas Cookie Extravaganza

It's begun, started last night, nick-named by Phyllis "Your Christmas Cookie Extravaganza"


  1. Peanut Butter with Kisses
  2. Brownies with Reese's
  3. Brownies with York Pep Patties
  4. Choc Chip
  5. Oatmeal Choc Chip (for those who need fiber)
  6. Spritz
  7. Sugar with Frosting
  8. Choc covered pretzels
  9. Apple Pie Bars (my fave)
  10. Thumbprints with Strawberry Preserves
  11. Magic Bars
  12. Oatmeal Raisin
  13. Plain Peanut Butter
  14. Peanut Butter Balls (Buckeyes)

I know there is more but I am drawing a blank... You can tell we like Peanut Butter and Chocolate :) Ieven got all my gift plates at the Thrift Store for less than $.25 each (don't worry I washed them!)

James 1:17 17Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

First Christmas

Me & Sara have something in common. We actually have quite a few things in common, but one being that we both lost our gramma's this year, me in April, her November. Our gram's actual birthday's were only days apart. May not seem like much to you, but it makes me wonder about a lot of crazy stuff.

Reading Sara's blog I've been reminising about my own gram. As I've said before, I am the oldest of 4 grandchildren, there is one great-grand, and she is mine. I'm the oldest by 19 years, then all the little rug-rats came in, and it was such a blessing, I always felt like more of an aunt than a cousin.

My gram got a little (ok, a lot) loopy in her old age. She wasn't even very nice, but before she died, God really did a work on my heart so that I could see how much she loved me. All the wonderful traditions she instilled in us, and how much she loved each one of us.

I can remember we would literally squeeze around the table at Gram's house, only to hear my grandpa yell because my gram clogged up the disposal with potato peels again, I swear she did it on purpose to keep up the tradition, it was kind of funny "marge!". I'm smiling just thinking about it, and I put my potato peels down the disposal... but ssshhh don't tell my dad... lol...

Phyllis asked me last night, "why do we have stupid roast beef for Christmas instead of awesome ham?" It's a tradition. Insert eye-roll here. Now, most people would love prime rib for Christmas dinner, me and my lovely daughter would rather have ham. We would. But we have roast beef (aka the "Christmas Goose") on holidays and french onion soup, a tradition my dad began when he started having Christmas dinner. Back in the day, Gram & Gramps weren't "rolling in it" so it was a big deal to have roast beef. We still do.

There are some traditions that will not go on, like mixed vegetables. We protested Thanksgiving 2006, NO MORE MIXED VEGGIES with holiday dinners, and so that one is gone (shew!).

I'm so thankful for all the memories I have been lucky enough to have had with my gram, I got to be her favorite for 34 years (if you are the oldest, you are always the favorite, that's just the way it goes, not saying if you are not first, you're not loved, but firsts are always the favorites).

I've almost bought her presents this year. She loved Russell Stovers Candy, I gave her a box every holiday.

I'm gonna miss her.

Clearing my calendar

Jer 31:3 3 The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying:
"I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with loving-kindness.

You know sometimes you just pray for stuff or say it to yourself and God listens, and answers.

I have a pretty jam packed Christmas season (even more than my normal season, though nothing about my life is really normal). I had 3 things to do on Christmas Eve, New Family, Mom's family, and Metro. And I actually was only going to Metro to greet and then it was back to the family. I will admit that sometimes ministry gets in the way of family time (outside me and Phyllis and sometimes even inside me and Phyllis) but there wasn't anyone else, until I got a phone call "I can serve on Christmas Eve and I really want to". Erin and I were just talking Tuesday about how if we could get one more on Christmas Eve, I could bow out. Check. Now I can spend the time with both my families. God is good.

Found out yesterday that I don't need to go to GCH on Saturday so I can spend the whole day cooking and baking for those I love on Saturday, I was wondering when I was going to be able to bake. Hmmm... God is good.

I don't think that God wants me to be burned out, and I certainly know He knows I can't say "no". And so He takes care of it all for me, how sweet is that.

I don't know why I am so amazed at how much God loves me that He takes care of my big things and my little things. I think I am mostly amazed because I know what a mess (wretch) I am and I'm in awe.

Eph 3:20 20 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Surface Development

There's a good chance that if you know me (or you think you know me) you like me. Not to be a jerk, but I was born a sales person. Maybe not born a sales person, but I certainly have developed the personality of a sales person over the years, probably out of survival. I hate to admit it, but I have.

Have you ever seen a brick wall? They typically don't make them ugly to the outside world, but there is a reason for a brick wall. To keep something in or keep something out. Have you ever seen my smile? While I may not think I am the most beautiful thing to look at, I gotta smile that will make you smile. It's my brick wall. That smile will keep you back, thinking everything is a-ok and you won't try to go past the surface. Those of you who know me, and know the truth about me (before this post) already know this. "How are you?" "FANTASTIC" Sign #1 that everything is not ok, but most won't go past that, and if you do, I'll think of some great thing happening in my life (which there are tons because I am blessed by God) to tell you, you'll walk away, and I'll be glad you did.

Reading this book I am reading "Captivating" I'm learning more about myself and why I am the way I am and really how I wound up this way. It's pretty crazy. No its amazing. AMAZING.

I live a loud, loving life, but I feel like it's time to turn down the volume, I must give something up. 4 things, if I could just let go of one. BUT (yes, that's a mighty big but) I can give you a reason why I don't want to or rather "I can't". I can, I just don't want to. Living a busy life keeps you from confronting that fact that you are lonely or gives you the excuse not to work on something. It does, I'm an expert. I do that. I've learned that lesson, and it's time to take that life lesson and do more with it then learn it, it's time to put it into action.

I need to get past this surface living, this 'not trusting' thing, I need to get past the "we need to get together but I don't have time" or (you can fill in the blank) but I don't have time. I don't think it's God who keeps me busy, actually I know it's not God. I think it's me who is afraid to be hurt and disappointed.

It's time to stop living a life on the surface, and to trust.

Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Joy to the World!

I love Christmas. But i don't really like Christmas music, let me rephrase that, I only like "real Christmas music". All those hokey "Hippo" and "santa baby" songs make me want to vomit. Ok, sorry, if you like those songs, listen to them to your hearts content. But give me some substance. I don't like a watered down sermon, I don't like watered down gospel, and I really don't like music that doesn't have a message, typically. And I certainly don't like music about a time of year that is as important as this.

I picked up the 3rd Day Christmas Offerings CD the other day, on a whim, well, actually it was playing in the store
when I was walking through, and I love 3rd day, so I knew it would be $7.99 well spent (on sale for $9.99, 20% off everything coupon). Let me tell you, it's lifted my spirits and brought be down when I was a little too high strung.

Each song, a meaning. The meaning. The TRUE meaning. No watered down message here.

1. O Come all Ye Faithful
2. Do you hear what I hear?
3. Born in Bethlehem
4. O Holy Night
5. Angels we have heard on high
6. Silent Night
7. Jesus Light of the World
8. Joy to the World
9. What Child is this?
10. The first Noel
11. Christmas like a child
12. Away in a manger
13. Merry Christmas

Each song has a story behind it. By the person who wrote it and each song holds it's own special meaning in my heart, that kind of feeling that when you feel it, your heart glows. It somehow is a little warmer when it's cold outside (and it's been cold outside!)

I think of the song 'Joy to the World!' upon each first hearing of the song, it brings back memories of going to Christmas Eve mass (service for you non-Catholics) and how each Christmas Eve, that's the song we left to. Now I think about it, and the joy that Christ has restored in my heart. I think about that joy that cannot come for anyone else except Him. I was just reading the song lyrics, and I got misty...

Joy to the world, the Lord is come!
Let earth receive her King;
Let every heart prepare Him room,
And heaven and nature sing,
And heaven and nature sing,
And heaven, and heaven, and nature sing.

Joy to the world, the Savior reigns!
Let men their songs employ;
While fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat, repeat, the sounding joy.

No more let sins and sorrows grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found,
Far as the curse is found,
Far as, far as, the curse is found.

He rules the world with truth and grace,
And makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders, wonders, of His love

Don't you just read that and 'get all happy inside'? doesn't it make you want to jump right out of your chair and scream "thank You Jesus"? The Lord has come... the Savior reigns... No more let sins and sorrows grow... He rules the world with truth and grace...

Just thinking about it, I'm telling you, I am all happy inside, all by myself (and Jesus).

Isaiah 9:1-7

1 Nevertheless, there will be no more gloom for those who were in distress. In the past he humbled the land of Zebulun and the land of Naphtali, but in the future he will honor Galilee of the Gentiles, by the way of the sea, along the Jordan-
2 The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death [a]
a light has dawned.
3 You have enlarged the nation
and increased their joy;
they rejoice before you
as people rejoice at the harvest,
as men rejoice
when dividing the plunder.
4 For as in the day of Midian's defeat,
you have shattered
the yoke that burdens them,
the bar across their shoulders,
the rod of their oppressor.
5 Every warrior's boot used in battle
and every garment rolled in blood
will be destined for burning,
will be fuel for the fire.
6 For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
7 Of the increase of his government and peace
there will be no end.
He will reign on David's throne
and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it
with justice and righteousness
from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the LORD Almighty
will accomplish this.

What is your favorite Christmas song?

Friday, December 07, 2007

Movie Star Treatment

I went to my very favorite resturaunt last night. It's the place we go for every celebration, every birthday is celebrated there, even one time I celebrated putting in my own bathroom sink, and that's where Phyllis and I went to celebrate. Last night was just a celebration of how much God loves me. Roma Cafe in Eastern Market, not to be confused with that gross Roma's** in Southgate that puts sugar in their pizza sauce. Roma Cafe is the oldest Italian Resturaunt in the Downriver area. The waiters all wear tuxedos, and so do the bus guys. Yes, that's right, only men wait on you.

Gary is the usual valet, a smooch always from Gary. He's wonderful! He always parks my car right in front so I never have to wait when its too hot or too cold. He's awesome.

Michelle and Dan are the hosts, they are fabulous! Always happy to see you.

My waiter (pictured), yes, that's right, I have my own waiter, I share him with other tables, but even the other waiters know that I love to sit with Sammy (sometimes I have to sit with someone else). He makes the best salad, when you ask for something not on the menu he simply says "easy to fix". He's amazing.

Last night, I decided to chill out, have some quiet time and a date night with God, see post below.

I pulled into Roma's, cars everywhere. I had no reservation, but those with star qualities (HA!) rarely need to have reservations. The lady at the coat check just looks at me with one of those "I got no where for you" looks and says "ask Dan". Who says "MARGIE, I GOT THE PERFECT TABLE FOR YOU" and all the people in the lobby, standing in amazement, I wondered if they wondered who I was. I should have just turned around and said "I'm a child of the King". I walk in, Sammy sees me, hugs, kisses, and a "so glad to see you, how is Phyllis and your dad?" We have the normal conversations and then starts my date night with God. Quiet and peaceful once the big party left the room I was sitting in (crazy drunk people going to the Opera House).

People say that going to Roma's with me is like being treated like a movie star. I laugh, it wasn't always that way, I don't know how I got to get such great service, I just used to go there a lot, and I am nice. That's it. but sometimes when life seems a little rough, when I am getting the short end of the stick, some "movie star treatment" is just the pep you need in your step, and sometimes its just nice to have a Roma salad and a bowl of soup (and some gnocchi with Palamino sauce).

** For some reason all you downriver people love Roma's pizza, there are certain things that downriver has going for it, but Roma's pizza is not one of them.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Date Night

Tonight is Adam & Katie's date night, I think it's the greatest thing, they take time for just the two of them.

Today, I decided to take a night, and have a date night with God. There isn't nearly enough time with just me and God. Time where I stop, pray, read, whatever, but tonight, I took the time to sit in my favorite resturaunt, and read "Captivating", pray, and just smile, and think about the greatness of God. I wondered if people thought I was alone. I wasn't.

I heard His voice while I read. I love you Margie, I made you a beauty, you are part of Me.

I ashamedly tell you that I don't spend enough time with God. Sure I spend time for God but not with Him. I am trying to work on that.

I'm full in stomach and in heart.
Date night was pretty awesome, I had the best date ever.
I just had to share this video with you

Overcome again

Again, I am overcome with greatfulness. I don't know why God keeps surprising me, I know how great He is, and I know He can do anything.

Yesterday GCH was blessed with a HUGE donation from a 7 year old Brownie, it's a long story, but her troop held a fundraiser, her dad matched the donations, and WHAM 3 charities (one being Grace Centers of Hope) was blessed. And when I say HUGE, I mean HUGE (more than 1/2 my salary). All because for "some reason" this little girl was called to help. What's that they say "and a little child shall lead them"? Amazing.

makes me feel like such a schlep, wish I could do more. And please don't do one of those "but you do so much" things... I do what I can.

Yesterday Pastor Clark (his name is Kent Clark instead of Clark Kent (superman) which I think is so cool) said when people say to him "you run a great mission", he says the Glory goes to God. He put it in the best perspective, praising him is like looking at a house and praising a hammer. The Glory goes to the carpenter. ha! Isn't that cool? That's exactly how I feel. I don't do much, and what I do, it's all because of Him. He's amazing, He does a great work in me everyday.

Gal 1:4-5 4who gave himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, 5to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007


There are days when I am just overcome. Overcome by a lot of things.

Sometimes its depression or sadness, and sometimes I am overcome with anger, and sometimes I am overwhelmed with love and greatfulness.

Today I am overcome with greatfulness. I stand (or sit or type, whatever) before you thinking to myself how God has blessed me today. I wrote on that post it note "please God" that's it I tell you. And today, answered prayers. Overcoming with a God who handled it all. Who handles it all.

You have may have some idea how hard it was to watch your baby in pain, to have a doctor tell you "it might be menengitis but we won't do a spinal tap until it's absolutely necessary". I can tell you that those years back, I wouldn't say that I look at them fondly, but I look at them with a greatful heart "I've come a long way baby" but I really didn't do much, God did all of it.

One time Phyllis was "in a flare" and my dad got a viral infection in his blood, the lining of his brain swelled and he was in the hospital for a week. I seriously thought I was going to be on "funny floor" in a straight jacket.

I think how I didn't quite grasp the amazingness of God. How I certainly didn't follow Him, and a few times He may have even felt slapped in the face. And I think now how great He is and how I adore Him. And I am sorry I didn't see Him sooner.

And I am overcome with love, I have been overcome by Jesus.

John 16:33 33"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Tuesday, December 04, 2007


10 years ago tomorrow Phyllis was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis (by the time the JRA was under control it was in her hip, both wrists, both knees, both ankles, fingers, one elbow - they said she only had a 15% chance of going into remission). Looking at her today, you might never know unless you look at her wrists that still have low range of motion.

That was a tough time in my life. I was quite a fighter back in the day, and between the fear of losing my job and what was going to be the outcome of my daughter's life based on the choices I had to make all by myself, I was a wreck. Only by God's grace am I standing before you today. Only I didn't really understand grace back then.

I wrote Phyllis a letter. Today, my head seemed to be spinning, I was on my knees asking for God. Even wrote on a post it note, "Please God" that's it. I don't need to go into it with God, He understands what I need what I want, and He will provide for it all, or He won't but I trust in Him. At some point, I looked at the calender and thought, wow, we've come a long way. And so that was the point of the letter. To remind Phyllis, and myself, that we have a God who loves us and never leaves us even when times are tough.

I worship an amazing God.

Dear Phyllis,

Today, I don’t know why but I feel like my life is circling way out of control. And for a minute, God stopped me, tomorrow is the day that you were diagnosed with Arthiritis, 10 years ago. That means that 10 years ago today, we slept in a hospital bed. Well, you slept, I cried. I remember that day like it was yesterday, and in the years passing that moment, I remember each time I had to get a wheel chair for you, I remember how your cried, how you looked.

And I think about how God never left us. I think about how God is ever faithful, and how on my knees I begged Him to give me your pain. I remember how as I put the authorization in the fax machine that I couldn’t make anymore decisions and that your life was in His hands. It always had been but that was the day I think I truly relinquished you to Him. To say “I’m not smart enough or strong enough, BUT GOD, You are. Please handle all of this”. And at that moment my prayers were answered.

I think about where we were and where we are, and boy, am I thankful to a God who loves us, endlessly.

Happy December 4th! Let the Glory be to God!!

Isa 53:5 5 But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed.

What is hiding in my heart?

I am the off the cuff writer, when God gives me something to write about, I rarely think about it longer than a half hour unless I am struggling with it, then I hold on to it forever it seems.

Today on Sara's blog she tells us she will be speaking, oh how I wish i could be there, but one more thing on my plate and I am done for.

What's hiding on my heart? The thing about me is that most things don't hide for long. They eventually come pouring out like green slime. So what's hiding on my heart today?

1. I forgot to write down an automatic payment and I am freaking out about it. But I know that somehow this will all work out.

2. I have to cook for a spaghetti dinner on Sunday and I have no idea how many I am cooking for. None. A note got sent out late inviting the church which is an awesome thing, but it puts a lot of pressure on me on getting it all together, and keeping it that way. I wonder "do you realize how much this work is?" And while I love it, it stresses me way out.

3. Am I doing too much? That answer is yes, but what the heck can I give up. I will certainly disappoint someone, and there isn't one person I want to disappoint, some more than others. Nonetheless my heart is churning

4. Am I a good mother? why does my daughter seem to have this huge attitude. Maybe I am a good mother because she has a huge attitude, I don't know. What the heck? And even though I am healed more and more everyday of losing my mom, if I would have had a mother, maybe that would help me to grasp all this. So, why God did you take my mom??

5. Christmas Eve. It's always been Mom's side Christmas Eve, Dad's side Christmas Day. Now, I have this new family (which I love) and they celebrate on Christmas Eve, both at the same time, with a church service RIGHT smack dab in the middle of it all. How the heck do I do it all? I believe in what Metro is doing but I am losing my mind about the whole thing. How can I be in two places at once? How do I not disappoint someone? Good Lord, this is a lot of pressure over something that is supposed to be celebrated.

I guess all that worrying isn't hiding any longer.
As a note, I just realized that 9 years ago tomorrow, Phyllis was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis, but is now in remission. She has been in remission for nearly 5 years. Boy, do I remember those days, they were awful, BUT GOD is ever faithful, and ever healing, and in all He has done for me I am thankful, but if healing Phyllis was the only thing He had ever done for me, I would thank Him for always.
Matthew 6:24-30 25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

Monday, December 03, 2007

on being fat...

If I hear one more time "you're not fat" I think I am going to scream. Let me just tell you, you're not fooling anyone, especially not me. I am fat, and I think by medical standards, I might even be the 'O' word, and I am not talking about that 'O' word we love, I mean the word OBESE!

I don't care if you tell me that you love me, I am fat, and you would think that someone who is so bothered by being fat would do something about it. I do, and then I stop, and then I do it, and then I don't.... and over and over the cycle goes. And I hate myself a little more each time I fall off the weight watcher's bandwagon. It's not their program that doesn't work, it's me. It's all me. I'm a great starter but not such a good finisher. that's why I am glad God does a work in me, and He won't stop until He's finished.

There are 4 of us that started today. It's a lot of work. Planning for every meal, every snack, even the ones you might not eat, but just in case, because no one likes to be hungry, especially not me. But I think it's worth it. I think I have hit the wall of being sick of myself.

2 Corin 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

Sunday, December 02, 2007

The day after

If you see these before 4 o'clock, you'vev seen them before the new 'Mr & Mrs'.

It was a day like you couldn't believe. To tell you the truth, I think I said "I hate myself" about 50 times. I had to leave at 2:30, it was 2:15 I hated what I looked like and literally ran up to the plaza to get a new sweater (you will see in the pictures) but over and over I said the same thing, "this isn't about you". And it wasn't. And to be honest, it wasn't about the Mr & Mrs, though it will be known as "their" day. This was about a blessing from God. It was about love, and that is the biggest blessing from God. It (life) isn't really about us, and the sooner we realize it's about HIS GLORY, the better off we are.

I think about a man who lost his wife 33 years ago. A man who raised his daughter, and boy, could she be a pill (sound like anyone you know?). I think about a woman with two sons, who lost her husband, only to try to find love with someone else, and you can't find love if it's not there.

I think about two people who could have only been brought together by God. And who share love and the joy only He can bring.

I think there may even be hope for me.

Enjoy the pictures, it was a beautiful, Glorious! Day.

Aunt Janice, Me, Phyllis, Cherly

Dad & Best Man Bruce

Gramma and all the GrandkidsDad and Cheryl

who taught those kids to hit the glasses to make them kiss? (me)

All Gram's grandkids (I know she was watching from heaven!)