Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Thursday, August 31, 2006

How words affect us

I told you I am going to stop swearing, end of the day total 5 bad words. I think people think I am exaggerating when I say that I dropped enough f-bombs by 8:30 to blow up a small country. I am not. Ask Tonya when I am mad, maybe two small countries. If swear words were cigarettes, I am a 4-5 packer (I think there’s 20 cigs in a pack… you do the math).

I told satan in the beginning of the day he needed to steer clear of me and my path. I’m on a mission. I’ll be honest, he sent in a little of his army… 5 isn’t bad. Not perfect, but much better, today going for the big goose-egg.
But how are words effect us. I was a little stressed, I wanted to swear, but I told everyone at work – poke me if I swear. No sore arms, I caught myself. No cuss cup either, I am doing this for God’s glory. He doesn’t need the money.
But the positive of words. Becky called me today to tell me she loved me. That’s it. I thought about it all day.
Pat’s words, the one’s straight from her heart on the prayer blog, blew me away. I sent her a little email about how jealous I was of her because she was such a good pray-er. She was encouraged by my encouragement.
So it’s really been on my mind that if I took those 100 or so words that are not for God’s Glory and change them to positive for His glory, I could change the world, one word at a time.

I’ll start with three…

Jesus Loves you.

Col 3:16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006


I have this awful habit... I swear. It's all over my workplace, you'd think I worked in a factory sometimes. But really it's not their fault, it's mine. I've been swearing since 4th grade. And I am going to stop. That's it. I started really watching my words at home. Then I realized, I don't swear as much at home. I notice I swear when I am mad... So I am going to stop.

I don't like the habit, it doesn't taste good (I love to eat even though it's not good for me), there are no great rewards, and probably a lot of consequences, some I probably don't even see. It really sounds a lot like smoking... bad habit, doesn't taste good, and most of the consequences come after years of smoking, cancer and the "e" word that I can't spell.

So, like every bad habit, it will be hard to break, but with the Lord's help, I will.

Proverbs 16:3 Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed
Proverbs 16:23 A wise man's heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

How blessed am I??

You know, I have been kind of wallowing in my life, it's not really going as I planned, mostly because of the decisions I have made, and the good Lord knows He spends a lot of time cleaning up after me. He could probably use His time helping people much more deserving than me if I would just quit being so stupid.

I'm doing a lot of praying and praising lately. I know how blessed I am, and I know that I don't deserve it... at all. I think of just a new blessing that has come way and I am so overwhelmed by the generosity of others, and a HUGE burden has been lifted, and I tell you this now... I don't deserve it.

I cannot believe how God works in my life and others. I am amazed and strive to always be better, to live a life that when I get up there and God and I are sitting across the picnic table I know that there will be parts of my life that He will be disappointed in, but I want Him to be proud of me and the work I've done for Him and even though I don't deserve anything, I don't want Him to be sorry He blessed me. Does that sound nuts?

God is so good and I am so thankful to be His.

Psalm 67
1 May God be gracious to us and bless us
and make his face shine upon us, Selah
2 that your ways may be known on earth, your salvation among all nations.
3 May the peoples praise you, O God; may all the peoples praise you.
4 May the nations be glad and sing for joy, for you rule the peoples justly

and guide the nations of the earth. Selah
5 May the peoples praise you, O God; may all the peoples praise you.
6 Then the land will yield its harvest, and God, our God, will bless us.
7 God will bless us, and all the ends of the earth will fear him.

Monday, August 28, 2006

does anyone remember that blogger BBQ?

Wondering... i was serious about the blogger bbq. is anyone still interested? Might have to move it to the 23rd of September.

Music of My Heart

It seems that I am in love with music. Does that sound wierd? My heart cries out the songs that others sing. I am finding myself a little lost at this moment. Not really in a bad way, just kind of trying to find my way. I don't really even know if I have the words, but God knows.

Today I am singing "Word of God Speak" Mercy Me.

That's all I got today.

I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say

Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak

I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music,
beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice

I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay

God, You know Your place for me. Please help guide me to get there. I'm confused Lord. And as always, I need You. I need Your guidance, Your love, Your patience, I just need You. In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen!

Saturday, August 26, 2006


I should have known... I've been in a mood lately, not bad, just kind of sad. I think I wrote in Tonya's blog that when something is bothering me it's deeply rooted from something else.

August 21 is the day my mom died. I don't remember my mom. At all. But somehow my heart remembers the day she died. You would think after 32 years, my heart would know she's not coming back and deal with it. But it still hurts.

I was driving to "the property" to help set up and I realized that what was bothering me, it's not a wall, it's not Phyllis growing up. I miss my mom. I miss something I can't remember having. I was sad, I was crying, with big tears, but I knew I could not walk in looking like a mess. So I cried, had a few words with God - "Yeah, God, it's not fair. How come I had to lose my mom, yeah, I mean it, not fair". I put in WOW 2006 and praised. Praised God that even in the sadness I love Him and He loves me.

I think God knew how I would feel today, and I met some great people today along with some that I already know. God sent me to do His work with people who He knew love pours out of their hearts, their smiles are friendly, the sisters in Christ we need, when we need them. Then later we had "Extreme Measures" at First Pres in Trenton, it was a great event, bands, skaters, again saw and spent some time with some really great Christians.

I am always surprised about how much God loves me, I don't know why but I am. I am amazed that in my sadness He sends me love to fight the sadness. He is so good!

2Co 1:3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort

Wall going up

I had a dream the other day about a wedding ring. I thought it was funny, I picked out a 7 carat ring. My girlfriend told me to look it up on dream interreptation. Dreaming about a wedding ring means "in the dream world" that you are hiding from pain, putting up walls. My g-friend said "that's not true about you"... but it is true, I can almost feel each brick being laid. I can feel the mortar and then each brick.
The last few months have had some major pain by people who I trusted to be my friend, to love me, but it seems that the love and friendship was only one sided. It's always hard to leave Dani, my friend who has been around for a long time. It's painful. So I put on this happy face, the one that no one sees the pain inside. I try to fool them and fool myself, but I am not fooling myself or God.
I am trying, ok, I am only fooling myself about trying to keep the bricks from going up, there's a lot of stuff I am keeping inside, there is a lot of stuff that I am keeping to myself, except that I am a dunce if I think that God doesn't know. He knows, and He is putting people in my life to help me open up, but I am resisting. I need to open up, life is better without the wall.
Its' time to be still.

Psalm 46:10 Be still and know that I am God

Friday, August 25, 2006

Stupid People

I try to be positive, I try to be nice, I try...

Did you ever notice that people are not only getting stupider (yes! I know it's not a real word) but they are also getting lazier!

I feel like I am swamped at home, swamped at work while I watch people leave early on a very regular basis, while I am working late, coming in early, and working from home.

I wonder now... who is stupid? Me or them?

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Going back to work after 4 days off...

It's going to be a crazy day! I'll blog more later

Lord prepare me
To be a sanctuary
Pure and holy
Tried and true
With thanksgiving
I'll be a living
Sanctuary, for you

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

I'll be honest... God knows my heart anyway.

I'm frightened. Not worried. Frightened.

My daughter is going into 8th grade. She's too old for her own good, and of course, as the mother of a teenager, I don't know ANYTHING. She doesn't say it, but I know it, I thought those same thoughts myself at one time or another about my dad.

The path she's on, so far, is a good one, but it only takes one friend to pull you away. I'm afraid. Am I seeing things that aren't there, am I overly cautious? I don't know. I just feel like I have a stomach all the time and I know she's not mine, she's God's girl, but I can't help but want to protect her so she doesn't end up like me. UGH! That would be awful.

So you see, I'm frightened, praying, and I'm just going to give this one to God and try not to take it back. And if I do, please remind me to give it back again.

Lord, You know my daughter's heart, You know mine. Give her wisdom to make good choices, and please give me peace.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

The battle goes on...

I had lunch with the Youth Pastor of my church, who also happens to be my good friend. We talked about a lot of stuff today. We had great conversation. I think we were about finished and we started talking about the kids, how frightened we are for them. How we need to go the Lord in prayer and lift these kids up, cry out to God, "pull them close, protect them".

There is a lot going on in the world today. There's a lot going on in homes that parents just don't see, or they see it and they don't deal with it, because they don't want to or they don't know how to, in either case, in my mind, those are not excuses. If you don't know how, go to God, sometimes it's out of our control, but it can always be in our prayers.

We're on the border of a battle. A battle for souls, the ones we know and the ones we don't. Jesus didn't fight, He prayed, He gave examples, He lived the life of the perfect example. And I think about the time when He cried out to God (I don't know the scripture) -"Forgive them Father for they know not what they do". I think about the people in my life that need to be forgiven, they don't understand the long term affects of their choices. I am crying out to God, watch over Your lambs, Lord, when satan comes close- please move him away, I know they have free will, Lord, but let them know, whisper softly in their ears, scream and yell Lord if You need to, "that's not the way, follow Me".

All I can do is pray, and I will, until I move mountains. The task in front of me is nothing in comparison to the Power behind me. Matthew 17:20

James 5:13-16 Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. 14Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. 15And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. 16Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

Monday, August 21, 2006


I know it's really 'grateful' but I think if something is really great, you're happy for it, it should be greatful... and I am.

I didn't work today. I'm blessed that I have a great job, and one that I can take time away from to refresh.

And guess where/how I spent my day?

Yes, that's right, on the boat with Phyllis, my dad, and some of Phyllis's friends. And in the midst of being sad about Katie, about all the crap that is going on in the world, the sadness that always comes from leaving Dani after a visit (I just don't see why they can't just let me take him home, I PROMISE, he'll behave and I am quite sure they can find someone to replace him) I had a day that I am greatful to God for.

I drilled in the girl's heads that 4 wheelers are not safe! I never could give them a hands on lesson of why, and though I am very sad that Katie died and I feel for those who love her, her exit from this world will not go unnoticed, and I for one will let people know how dangerous those stupid things are, and that it can happen to you.

But my dad and I were talking about how lucky we are that we made it through all that our lives have been. My mom dying, he barely made it trying to take care of my mom when she was sick and take care of me, then there was the issue of trying to get over the love of your life being stripped away by the ugly 'c'.

And here we were sitting on the boat on August 21, 2006, in a place that only God saw coming, a day of peace with who we are to the world and who we are, more importantly, to each other.

We talked about how I used to get suite tickets for Tiger's games and today we had to sit the regular seats like everyone else (I always cry at the National Anthem, I am such a dork). How greatful we are for the memories we have and the memories we're making. We talked about Red Wing tickets (we've sat in the last row of JLA and 7 rows from the ice right behind the Wing's bench - yes I saw Maltby sweat!).

I am so blessed. Do I deserve any of it? Nope. It's by God's grace, His mercy, and His most awesome love that I sit here typing on my computer with a heart that is humbled and overwhelmed with joy and peace.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! (Phil 4:4)

Sunday, August 20, 2006

The Veil

Ok... I'm not too bright when it comes to knowing the bible. This is entirely not my fault, though I could work a little harder at reading it.

Today we were talking about prayer (Matthew 6) in church and somehow our Pastor, (who by the way, was on fire with the sermon he preached - God must have been so proud) got talking about how when Jesus died the veil in the church split in two, how God seperated the area between where the sacrifices were done and the "holy part" of the church (now remember this is how I remembered the story - if I am wrong - feel free to correct me - in a nice way of course) and how that seperation means we can have a relationship with God - He loves us that much.

Now, how amazing is that. You all know I am a sinner, and God loves us that much that He wants to have a relationship with us. I was just crying. All the signs of His love. There are so many. We (at least I!) am so unworthy. And He loves us anyway, and He wants to be with us, a part of our lives.

I'm blown away. Sorry for two blogs today, I just was overwhelmed with joy and had to share.

John 14:20-21 On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. 21Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him."
Dani and I were talking about "friends" and he was telling us stories of younger escapades, I was not part of these, I had moved away by then. Funny, none of these stories impress us, look were they got him?

I love Dani, even in prison with a sentence of letters not numbers, he still is full of energy, and full of friendship. Life is not as complicated for him. He knows who his true friends are because they are still by his side. I am thankful to be one of them.

People are surprised that to find out that I am friends with someone in prison. Apparantly I don't look like someone who hangs out with prisioners. Dani has friends in prison who have stories that could make your hair with curl or straighten. He has stories himself that would do the same. I look past that because I know I have done things that I am none to proud of, and afterall, a sin is a sin, right? He's surprised, maybe more like disappointed that more people haven't stuck by him, I told him "it's easy to be friends with someone who everything is great for, true friends see you through it all".

Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Toto, there's no place like home

I have been gone for just a couple of days, but I can tell you, there is no place like home.

I could tell you some very funny stories about Terre Haute, IN. The game we play "from Terre Haute or Not from Terre Haute". I'll save some of those stories for another day.

People can say what they want about the Detroit area. I'm glad to be home. I'm glad that I live here. And I miss my friend already, so much that my heart aches.

More tomorrow. Just wanted to let you all know that I made it home safe.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Can't pray enough

Do you ever feel like you can't pray enough?

I feel like my pryaer list is long (I'm honored that people put such trust in me). I feel like I am always praying about something, I really do pray without ceasing. But lately I have two issues that I just can't "get over". One is the liar and the other is "my friend", who took my CDs and my money (she keeps saying that they are supposed to arrive, but I've yet to see them- I hope she remembers risk has consequences).

I feel like I can't pray enough through these issues. Maybe because it's been a lot of talking and not a lot of listening. I feel like I was truly invaded by satan. I feel like he used two people who could get to me, i have to say, he did a good job. Except for one thing. The two of them (above) taught me a couple of good lessons, one of the lessons about being real. I bet that little booger wasn't counting on that. The other is leaning on God and letting Him use a yucky situation to turn it to lessons, He's sweet like that.

I feel like I haven't been where I needed to be on a lot of things. Phyllis and I are leaving for Indiana today, we'll be gone until Saturday. I am excited to go and see my friend, but I am excited about time for me and Phyllis to just talk, and I look forward to the time while she's sleeping to spend that time with God, just talking.

1 Tim 2:8 I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing.

Heavenly Gracious Father, oh my how awesome are You?! Thank you so much for calling the "Thailanders" to do Your work. Thank you for teaching us all the lesson to trust in You, we need that lesson a lot. Thank You for bringing them home to us safely. Lord, continue to call them to do Your work, Lord continue to call us all. We open our hearts to serve You. In Jesus' mighty name, I pray. AMEN!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Short term vs Long term

A lot has been going on lately. The world is a crazy place. The “Church” has come under fire. In my opinion, people think that Christians are hypocrites. Some Christians say one thing, but do another. They act self righteous, but do bad things and unfortunately I have witnessed a lot of that lately. I am blessed with strong faith, but had it happened to me a couple of years ago, I would have run from Christianity. I am not alone in the life of a sinner. I get angry, do dumb things, and on occasion, I can drop “F-Bombs” like no one else. These are not things I am proud of, “that’s one of the reasons I need Jesus”. How we act can either bring people to Christ or turn them away, as my friend Jimmy says. As a Christian, its not about not falling, it’s about how we get up, how we deal with it, it’s part of our testimony.

Loving Jesus can be broken down into two parts. Long Term and Short term.

Long term: Eternal life is the part of the iceberg that people don’t see. It’s why Jesus got up the cross. He knew all along, that’s why He came.It’s long term planning. There are generations who aren’t necessarily looking at the long term aspects of anything. Eternal Life is important, but God could have brought Him down, Jesus could have lived His life, rose again… and that would be the story. No book of instructions.

God’s intentions were clear. They had a point.

He told stories, taught us lessons, there’s nothing in our lives that we can’t find an answer to in the bible. How we deal with what goes on in our lives and how we deal with it, is how we live our lives as the church. It’s not about dressing up on Sunday mornings, it’s about living a life that we’re not ashamed of. It’s not about perfect, it’s about making mistakes, and learning from them. It’s about helping others through struggles with what we’ve dealt with. It’s short term planning. People want to know “How is it going to help me now?” We live in a world that needs hope, peace, joy, and love. A lot of days, I need it myself.

There has been a lot going on in my life the last couple of months. There is no doubt in my mind that everything I have been through, it’s had a point. It’s been a lot of different lessons, two in forgiveness, I cannot tell you how hurt I’ve been, there have also been lessons in being real. I know that with all of it, people were watching, can I walk the talk. I believe people understand salvation, but I like I said, I live in a generation of people who don’t look past the short term, what is affecting them now. They want to understand, while in the middle of their struggles and stress, how adding more “rules” or an extra day of getting up and doing things is going to help them. I can only speak for myself when I say that I need Jesus, without Him I have no peace. I would never make it. He’s the first one I call out for when I need peace and strength. Whatever I have been through, my experiences, they help me to relate to others, and from there, they will experience the peace of Christ. Eternal life, the part of the iceberg we don’t see, because sometimes we just can’t even imagine it, it’s oh so important, but the part we do see, the part of our lives that we know that there is nothing that we go through that God isn’t with us, that’s the part I want people to see. In this day and age, which is really no different than others, the scenery changes, but it’s all the same… I feel like it’s so important that if we want people to follow Christ, reap the long term benefits, we need to show them the short term benefits. And then and only then, will they see the Love and peace that comes from Christ. Today and forever.

Romans 5:1-5 1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through
our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now
stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings,
because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope.
5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy
Spirit, whom he has given us.
Lord, the Thailanders will be on the plane, on a very long ride home. 
Let them look back on their trip and see your wonders. Let them know that it was for 
Your glory, that they love You have for themis the love you have for all. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

My heart

I really didn't write today. It has been really busy at home and at work. I've been trying to round up the last of my "talk" for tomorrow... about peace.

But to be honest, I'm struggling with my own peace. I've had to deal with two HUGE hypocrites in the last few months. I have issues with people who are not what they say. I am a QS9000 kind of girl. In automotive we have this process we follow, QS9000 (now it's like TS16949) do what you say, and say what you do. That's it. I'm good with that.

If you mess up, fess up. If you fall, get up. If you sin, ask for forgiveness and repent. If you lie, come forth with the truth, it helps to rebuild the trust. Everyone falls.

Writing for tomorrow has been a blessing because it's made me look inward on my behavior of having to deal with these idiots and how to keep from people thinking I'm a hypocrite. Sure, I'll fall, but I hope that if I mess up, I fess up. It's made me look up scripture, I even broke out my study bible, I have been just carrying around my "pink" NIV version in my purse.

My peace can't come from getting my CDs back, that by the way still haven't arrived. It can't come from liars coming clean, there really is only one person my peace can come from... Do you know?

Phil 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

What do you call?

I have had someone challenge my definition of thief and liar?

So please clarify for me...

1. What do you call someone who borrows something, but does not return it?


2. what do you call someone who does not tell the truth?

Please let me know. Because my answers are:

1. Thief

the definition of thief in the dictionary: One who steals.

2. Liar

The definition of liar in the dictionary: One that tells lies.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Being Positive

I had to laugh, I think even outloud when BG said I have such a positive attitude. Oh, dear, that is what I let them see. I try not to focus on the bad, but it does get to me. I have learned a new knock knock joke taught to me by my "best friend", it's in quotes because with friends like that, who needs enemies, and it was also taught to me by someone who I thought was my friend, but... Ugh! leave it at that...

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Hippo who?
Hippo crite

Yeah, you see, I am a sinner, I try really hard to not act all righteous. I know I have lists of things to work on, from here to heaven. And it seems to be growing every day, but I am lucky, I understand the blessings that God has given me, and as a "Hopeful Cynic" I try to focus on the "hopeful" and not the cynic.

It's hard for me, but I try to put on my "God Glasses" for reading all the blessings, because trust me, I can be more negative than I care to admit. But I don't know what the point is. Sure, my friend stole my CDs (but they are on their way to me, I hope!) but you know what? She didn't steal my faith.

I look at the experiences I had and I think about how blessed I am for a couple of reasons.
1. My faith is stronger than whatever satan can throw my way. I can only guess that if these things that happened in the last few months would have happened a few years ago, and it's possible I would have walked away from Jesus due to hypocrisy. Yeah, that would have sucked, what would I do then?
2. I learned great lessons, about how our words need to match our walk.
3. I had a lot of people watching me, people who are not part of the faith community. I may have done some rumbling, but I stayed true. I called a spade a spade when it needed to be called out and put in check, and I forgave, still working on the forgetting part...

So I wish I was more positive, but it's a lesson in learning.

Heavenly Gracious Father, we are on the back side of a wonderful experience of "the trip". Help the parents and family of the kids to hold on and be patient, they're almost home! In Jesus name I pray. Amen

Sunday, August 13, 2006

what a great day

It was a great day yesterday. I went over and had lunch with Jim & Tonya and Grace (Tonya talked me out of going to work). Gotta love that little munchkin, she’s finally warming up to me! Woo Hoo!! Then to the fruit market, you gotta check out Eureka Farm Market if you haven’t already, it is awesome! Then to have coffee with Becky, well, I had tea. Orange… Yum! And then to see Becky’s porch… very cool. I would have stayed longer… but the dog! UGH! Got the message that my CDs and $100 are on their way to me! Finally, took a big threat that would have been a promise, but they are on their way (and for the record, don’t try to steal anything from me, I don’t play nice). I am one happy girl. Then it was home, worked in the yard. My drunk neighbor’s hollered at me (in a funny way), one guy who converted from Catholism to Jewishness… tried to convince me that Christ wasn’t a Savior. Whatever dude, go have another drink. I don’t know what I am supposed to say to stuff like that… but he was drunk, so I didn’t waste my time. Tried to tell me that it’s all because of Paul that people think Jesus was a Savior, ok, go have 2 drinks. I worked on my schpeal for Wednesday, I sent it to Sara for review, I hope I don’t embarrass myself or God. At least I know the music will be good. It all came together. Then I watched “Remember”. What a great movie, I've seen it a million times, and I always cry. I am so glad I learned at a young age that color or race doesn’t matter, it’s what’s on the inside that matters. Thanks God for another phenomenal day. You ROCK …
Psalm 9:1 I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders

Heavenly Gracious Father, thank you so much for giving us all spiritual gifts to serve You. Things we enjoy, things that make our hearts burst with Your love. Please give the kids that awesome feeling of serving so their hearts will be overloaded with Your Love. In Jesus' Name I pray. AMEN!

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Be the Church

I have been struggling with what I am going to talk about on Wednesday at church. It seems that whenever I see Pastor Jim, Julie, Jeremy, or Sara speak, they seem so confident in what they do, they seem to teach a lesson in such a way that moves us as God intended. I've been doing a lot of praying about it, a lot of listening, I come up with an idea, God's like... "No, Margie, Good lesson but not for you" and He steals my words! AH!

So, yesterday's (or maybe the day before) BG wrote about clothes and what people wear to church, and a lot of us had a lot of different ideas about it. Barefoot is still best, thank you very much.

And then the pictures came from Thailand. Yeah, I'm still misty. Adam wrote in there "Be the church"

Church isn't about a building, it's about love. It's about Jesus. I think I have it... now I just gotta find the scripture...

Hey God, it's me again, I am so glad You don't get tired of hearing from me and hang up the line. Lord, please use the "Thailanders" in big ways to move the way people think about You. Use them to change their lives. Lord, they have changed my life in such big ways. Only You could send them to Thailand and use them in our hearts. Thank You Lord. In Jesus' Name I pray. All God's kids say... AMEN.

Friday, August 11, 2006

This Job I Have

The job I have is all about prayer. Many of you know the power of prayer. I was tired and weary in Sept 2005. I was not that thrilled about my job, I was running into oppostion everywhere I went; and that was not working as I was trying to launch a product. It just wasn’t. I was in the middle of two power struggles, that doesn’t work either when you’re trying to launch a product. I bought the book by TD Jakes (I didn’t even know who he was at the time) “Ten commandments of working in a hostile environment”. I figured the only way I was going to get out of that mess was to learn more about God and His word.

I had applied for a job outside. I asked a group of awesome women to pray for me at 7PM on Sunday. They prayed that God would guide me where I needed to be. At 9AM I was informed that as of that minute, I had a new position and a new boss. ANSWERED PRAYER. I stopped reading the book at Chapter 3 – which are you ready for the title of Chapter 3?? Embrace Opportunities for Change. For the record, I never even got a call from the outside employer (their loss). My boss didn’t really know how I was going to take it, I knew “of” him but didn’t really know him. I didn’t care, I knew this was where God wanted me. I was good with it.
It’s been a lot of growing, I didn’t know anything about electronics, and I surely didn’t know much about finances… but whatever God puts you to, He’ll put you through.

Today I had a big meeting, 3 VPs, 3 Directors, and a Manager. I was as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I prepared for two days, two very long days. It was stressful, very stressful. But you know what? All my preparation and needing it to be right, paid off. Everyone said how well I did, my boss said I shined like a star. Who would have thought?
It changed the way I have been looking at my job. I think “I’m just a pee-on, they probably don’t even care what I do”. But when I was sitting across from the VP, he’s looking me in the eye, he expects that I not only know the issue, I know it well, and I am honest. No BS. I know those issues from both sides (Customer & Plant) better than anyone, that I see both sides, that I know our opportunities and I know our risks. That’s my job, and it is important.
I know that God put me here for a reason, in a job that I do well at. At a job that I do enjoy, at a job that I know better than anyone else, and will continue to grow in knowledge. I may not know all the reasons, but all I need to know is that God put me here, and He trusts that I know how to do it well, and that if I don’t, I know where to go to get the answers. To Him.
He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but whoever walks wisely will be delivered. —Proverbs 28:26
And you know this one, I use it a lot! But I also added verse 12…
Jer 29:11-12 11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
Dear God, We know that each one of us has a plan that You have laid out. Reveal Your plan to those Your beautiful children. Give them a glimpse of their purpose. Lord, let Your will be done. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Thursday, August 10, 2006


In the last 2 days I have worked over 24 hours. For someone who has a “cushy” job in Sales & Marketing, what the heck is that all about??
I have a job that no one understands, and quite frankly, I don’t always understand it. All I know is that a lot of money is tracked and fought for by me, and oh, yeah, I fight for it.
I have a job that my family (my perception) thinks is not very important, I am sure they understand that I work at a big corporation, but I don’t do anything that benefits society. Except I do help people KEEP their jobs by collecting money.
It’s been a long two days, and honestly, I would be dead had it not been for my relaxing of yesterday. It was nuts today, again. But somehow I am not exhausted. Tired like normal, but not exhausted.
I opened my “Mocha with Max” book again. I don’t read it every day, but today’s I read was about endurance. I know where to go when I need strength, I know where to go when I just can’t make it the next round. Sometimes I forget because I am a pee-brain, but I know. I crawl, slouch, and give it my all to reach out the Lord knowing if I can’t reach Him, He will indeed reach me. He’s sweet like that. I have two more days to go, a meeting with the Vice Prez of my division tomorrow at 10am. If you have an extra minute, you could pray that the meeting gets cancelled, they make me so incredibly nervous. I’ll make it, if God has to carry me.

Hebrews 12:1-2 …let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God

Lord, the “Thailanders” are working like crazy to spread Your word, Your love to others, help them not to grow closer to You. Wrap them in Your strong loving arms, help them to not only reach out, help them to reach up and in. Lord, call out to them, tell them what You would have them do to serve and love You. In Jesus’ Name. Amen. And Lord, take care of Sara, she’s tired and sick. Not really the greatest of combinations. Can You heal her for me Lord? Thanks.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Friends the refresh us

So I was inspired or should I say “we” were inspired. We were going to do a bible study on Friendship… to be exact, “The Friends God Sends” but apparently God didn’t send anyone to do this bible study with us. The other half of us is Tonya. We thought it would be a great thing, and maybe our timing is not God’s timing and so… as far as I know… no bible study… maybe another time, maybe God feels I am not ready, and that is ok too.

But I decided to work on the bible study anyway. I need to start one, so what the heck, right? I love Beth Jones, I did an audio series of hers once. It was on Romans 12:2 which happens to be like my most favorite scripture, so WOO HOO… I am excited to start this new study, and I thought I would share some of it with you. Or at least what I am getting out of it or should I say what God is putting in me?
The first friend is the friend that refreshes us, they are the friends who are like Aromatherapy.

There have been so many times in my life when I have just been tired. Maybe it’s been while I am in school, maybe when work has been insane, sometimes when the road of life seems to be full of bumps. Have you just ever been so tired that you feel like you can’t go on, and then you get a card in the mail or you post your blog, and someone says “I’m praying for you”? And somehow it’s like wind was put in your sail.
Yesterday I was hanging out with my friend Derek, we both had extremely long and busy days. We were supposed to have dinner. He had to work late, I had to work late. We didn’t meet up until 8:45. (Neither of us got mad at the other, we just understand, we're in Automotive) Instead we spent an hour relaxing and talking. He knew I would be disappointed if he didn’t come for a visit, even a quick one, and he had to drive back to Port Huron to pack for Vegas. Now that’s a friend.
Derek and I have been friends for 5 years. He makes me laugh and smile, and sometimes irritates the crap out of me, but he’s great because just when he’s irritated me too much, he says something crazy and makes me just laugh, the kind of laugh, even if you are mad, you can’t hold it in.
There are so many people in my life that come in just in the nick of time to catch me and lift me up in prayer and in laughter.
Tonight is life group, and I get to see some of my favorite people in the world, Tonya & Jimmy, Sara and Dean. More freshening to my tired soul.
God is so good, isn’t He?

phil 1:7 7Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the saints.

Good morning God, You've been working in the lives of the Thailanders and the people of Thailand, and even though we've only witnessed witnessed how You're working in pictures, we can imagine Your great work. Lord, You've placed a group of people who are strong, help them to unite their strength to be the team only You can do. Thank You in advance for the awesome Life Group we are having tonight. Lord, our hearts are open to Your word, Your works, and Your love oh Lord. Help us to make it an awesome night of Worshipping Lord, it is our hearts desire to give it all to You. You are so awesome, and we love You, with all we are. In Jesus' loving name. Amen.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

The "worst" of these being used.

Did you ever watch the movie “Armageddon”? It has Ben Affleck and Bruce Willis… if you haven’t seen it, I honestly wonder what is wrong with you or if you've been living under a rock… but watch it.
It’s about these guys who dig oil who some may deem “the least of these” unlikely heroes. A gambler who has been ordered to leave his son, a genius who is a little out there who spends $100K on a stripper with money from a lone shark, a mouthy kid who loves the owner’s daughter (who the owner tries to kill). It’s a movie full of misfits, called to save the world.
And I also find it funny that these are not guys who you would think would pray. They seem a “little rough around the edges” but there is a lot of praying going on, and at least one time Bear, the big bald black guy “praises God”.
The movie has been on a couple of times when I have been cleaning or doing something. But I was watching the end today (yes, no matter how many times I watch it, I cry). And I was thinking, wow, they were picked to save the world.Isn’t that what we’re called to do? I know I am blessed, but sometimes, I am “the worst” of these, not just the least of these. But God calls each of us to go save the world, one soul at a time, unless of course, you’re Sara, and then it’s like 5 at a time.
Given my history, I should not be called to save anyone. I am the worst of these, some skeletons are so big, and they would knock the air out of you if they fell out. But thankfully God continues to use me in ways I never thought possible.
I think of “the thailanders” as I like to refer to them, and I am so thankful they are called to go on Missions to Thailand. I am so proud of them, like they are my kids. I look at how God uses them because they were open to being used. I think we can use them in our lives as examples. Willing to help others learn the Word of God, because after all, isn’t that what Jesus commands us to do in the Great Commission. I believe it is important to go out to other countries as long as we don’t forget about the home front. To reach out to those who God has placed in our grasp. Our Co-workers who are probably more able to listen to us and the Love by our actions or our family, those who are not saved. People in the grocery store, our friends.
I’ve said it before; I’ll probably say it again. God use me. Your will be done. I can’t always promise I will be up to it the first time You tell me to do something, but I promise, I’ll listen.
Gal 5:13 You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.

Dear God, almighty God, there hasn't been anything we've ever needed that You haven't provided. Even when we forget or are just too stubborn to ask for. Those beautiful children You sent to Thailand, Lord, please make sure they have the strength to do Your work. And Lord, Adam and Katie are just more awesome than I could put to words, Lord, thank You for them. Give all of them renewed strength and spirit to carry out Your will. And Lord, if the load is too heavy for Little Miss to carry(because of her collarbone), please give her strength and courage to ask for help. God You are our all in all. Give us all strength to carry out Your will, because Lord, we know that's what YOU want us to do. Use us Lord, in little ways and big ways, one at a time or 10 at a time, just give us the words and actions. In Jesus' Name I pray with all that I have. Amen.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Forgive! and Forget?

There is something about me, if I cannot tell the truth it bugs me. I can't be friends with people who I can't be honest with. I can't be friends with people who aren't honest.

I have been lied to (refer to pond scum blog) and "a friend" stole my CDs and if she doesn't return them, the whole greater Lansing area will know the kind of person she REALLY is.

The bible tells us that we are supposed to forgive. 7 X 77. That's a lot of times. I can forgive but I have a hard time forgetting. I was talking to my friend Marilynn and I said I felt bad because I could not forget what they have done to me. I can forgive them, I think they can't help it, their hearts are not pure, satan lives there, but I can't forget. She said something... the bible tells us to forgive but it doesn't say anything about forgetting. It was a relief. And so for the past few days I have been talking to God about this.

To forgive helps me, it helps me not carry around hurt. And I really started thinking about the forgetting part. Why would He teach me a lesson (I learned a lot from these two "friends") and then want me to forget it? There are a lot of times I look past something in the name of friendship and I have no issues with that. We all make mistakes, and I am ok with that, I guess my deal is that this was all intentional.

So, I am good with these lessons. Forgive but not necessarily Forget.

Matthew 18:21-22 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" 22Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Heavenly Gracious Father, please help the kids to remember that we are all created in Your image, help the "Thailanders" to see those who need You most. Give them bravery to reach out to touch and soothe those who need You most. Give them the strength to lift those You love up in prayer. Give them the words to touch their hearts. In Jesus' awesome name. Amen.

Here are some more pics of Thailand. That is a cow... on a leash... what the heck?!

The one with all the kids lined up is a school they taught english

The one that they are all sitting down is a temple made of bottles, who would have thought!!


Sunday, August 06, 2006

Sad :(

I am a little sad.

I had a bunch of people over last night and we had a great time. Sat around eating and talking, it was great! that's not what I am sad about.

There are many bonus's about being single. You don't have to cook if you don't want to, you can make your room anyway you want to...

...but last night when people were talking about having people over, I thought... I never get invited to those things. I was talking to my friend the other day and she said, oh, I just met So&So and his wife, So& Sew, I think I am going to have (a list of people) over for dinner. I wasn't on the list and I know all of those people and I get along with those people, but I don't get thought of, I think, because I am not part of a couple. I am not part of "The Fillinlastname's". If I was to get invited over, there's no one for the husband "to play with". (And by the way - J&T never do this)

You know, I am well aware of what's missing in my life, and I know people don't mean to but sometimes I feel like it gets thrown in my face again, just like when I was a kid, I get picked last.

I don't know, maybe they just don't like me...

Dear God, Your good works are abound in Thailand Lord, please give the people that are being touched peace so they are open to Your word, and Salvation that comes only from knowing and accepting You. In Jesus' mighty name. Amen

Saturday, August 05, 2006

More Thailand pics

Thought you might like to see these. Right now I know you are all praising God for digital cameras!

Phyllis gone for a week!

part of me is excited that I will be on my own for a week, I can watch whatever I want and pretty much do whatever I want, more quiet time because Phyllis is gone up north with my aunt and uncle and her cousins. That is a very little part of me. Part of me wishes I was there with her. I wish I could have taken the time off work to go, maybe next year.

I miss her while she is gone, and I pray that she is a good witness to her cousins who are in desperate need of the Love of Jesus.

I hope she stays safe and has a great time. The week will be over before I know it. Thankfully.

Dear God, can you please tie satan up for the next month or so. Maybe longer, I won't mind, really. Can You bind and gag him so that those beautiful children can spread Your word and Your love? Not kidding about the longer part either, really, I, for one am quite sick of him. And Lord I am asking that Your love and power run like crazy in Thailand, hearts to be open to hear it all Lord, and let them be open to accept it all. Keep a hedge of protection around the kids and leaders but make it so love goes in and out and evil just gets kicked to the curb. Lord, You are almighty, and I know You, and only You can do it. Thanks! In Your Son's awesome name, AMEN!

Friday, August 04, 2006


I have said it before, I love my job. It has been an extremely busy week. I had a quote that would normally take 2-3 weeks due in 4 days.. ah yeah. No pressure. I had another quote due on Thursday, only to find out that most of the people who needed to do something for the quote didn't. Ah yeah, they got a verbal beating. I told them their behavior was completely unacceptable. I am sure they had some choice words, but the truth hurts sometimes.

Not only do I quote new business, I am also in charge of making sure that money is collected on changes. I track it, my matrix is 10 pages long, and the font is so small, even ants can't read it.

There are a lot of misc things I do too. I like my job, it's just been crazy, but I was really upset yesterday about the quote that didn't get done. It got done today, but that was because we have a super star on our team. And then today, we were about to kick off a change and no one on the team (oh except for me) knew that we got a quote for 4 cents cheaper. Oh yeah, 4 cents, that's no big deal I bet you are thinking... Well, we ship about 300,000 of those little things... it adds up to $12,000, over 4 years... yeah, that's a lot of cake.

I am a detail kind of girl. I am all about the details. My thoughts are simple, and sometimes I just don't get that "big picture" thing. I get it sometimes, but sometimes I just don't. Sometimes I feel like the questions I ask are so basic, and dumb, that if I ask them, I will look like an idiot, but honestly, I ask them anyway. There have been times where I say "sorry, I should have known you already thought of that" and there are times when I catch a $700,000 issue that no one else caught.

It is like that in everything I do. I do something like VBS or "Super Sunday" and got puts the entire picture, every detail in my head. I will tell you, I can see next year's VBS already in my head. I love that about me. Maybe that sounds dumb, I really do. I love that I take pride in every detail, whether it's work or VBS. Every smile is remembered, every word, every hug, and every feeling, every detail is like God permentantly stitched it in my head.

I remember the first time I met Sara, she had a blue/green bible. I remember her face, her expressions. I remember how she made me feel, like I was her friend and she had never met me before. Funny how God does that. I even remember where Becky was sitting when I first met her too (same place). I remember the day my daughter was born, I remember how in 6th grade I carried Krystal (my friend Erica's little sister) all the way to school because it rained and she was afraid of the worms. I can see Tonya's face when she says "Good morning" on our talks into work everyday. I remember when I first saw Tina sing. And so many more. Oh, and music, I can tell you how the praise songs I have heard have touched me the first time I loved them.

I think God is amazing. He keeps track of each of us, and I can only imagine the memories He has in each of us. The first time we called out to Him in prayer, the first time we praised Him. To think that He gave me just a portion of that gift. I am humbled and honored.

Psalm 104:1 Praise the LORD, O my soul. O LORD my God, you are very great; You are clothed with splendor and majesty.

P.S. this is not how I saw my blog going when I started it...

Hey, God... I'm down here. I got another favor. Yeah, I know, it's me again, good thing You love me, yeah, I'm blessed, beyond belief Lord. I got a few friends, Lord. They need some peace. Can you wrap them up tonight? Can You hold them so tight that all they feel is You? A couple of them have loved ones over in Thailand. We know those kids belong to You, but Lord, we love them, it's hard for us to let go. So send us some peace, somehow let us know that they are safe. And Lord, I have this friend, he's... I'm really not sure Lord, but You know. And You know what He needs. So Lord, if You want me to help, give me the words, but until then, I'll keep praying.
I love You. Thanks, again. In Jesus' Holy and precious Name. Amen.

The Thailanders

Here are the pics from myspace since I know some of you may have a little difficulty getting to the page and seeing the pics...

Dear God,

I am asking that You keep those beautiful children and their leaders safe from harm. Please give them safe water and food to drink. Keep them healthy. Lord, we trust them to You.
In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

(this is the food they had pictured on their myspace)

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Have Faith

My boss smacked me! Ok wait, it's not what you think. He (Mitch) was driving home from Houston by himself and I was "keeping him company" and we were talking about a bunch of different stuff, he and his wife are trying to get pregnant (please add them to your prayer list) and his dad has been having heart problems (please add this too, his name is Jerome) and he lives in Lousiana, he went to Houston to have a 4ruple bypass, but it didn't really go well, and my boss had to leave his mom and dad and brother to come home, he's driving by himself (again, pray) and he told me to "have faith"

Through everything I tell him, "have Faith" God has a plan. We were talking about a lot of things last night, babies, past stories, the miracle of his wife and their marriage, and I said (because I was thinking it), "I hope someday I am married, but it might never happen". It makes me sad to think that I might never find that person that I am supposed to be married to. I believe it will happen, but I'm not patient. Don't think I don't know how much work marriage is, but I still want it. Now I truly believe that God has someone that is perfect for me, He's been waiting for us to both be ready. He said to me, "don't worry Margie, you tell me all the time to have faith, so now I am telling you" he said some other things but that was the thing that stood out. It's sometimes easy to tell someone else "have faith, God has a plan" but when it comes to our own stuff, it's harder to take because we know our own situation, every detail of it, but I am thankful to know how much God loves me. Even when I forget to have faith, even for just a second.

I have faith in Him, that He will provide me with all I need and most of what I want (within reason). I think of Mitch, Sara, Carole, the Thailanders, and many others who must have incredible faith to trust in the Lord, and I stand in awe, once again.

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see - Hebrews 11:1

Heavenly Gracious Father, please keep Mitch safe as he drives from Houston. And Lord, please give the leaders of the Thailanders, not just the "adults" but those students that You have called to be leaders, please give them wisdom for every situation they are in, that they will have the right words, thoughts to do Your will and be safe. In Jesus' name. Amen

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

God loves us so much

I have a little devotional that moves me in a big way. Mocha with Max (Lucado). Yeah, I don't even like coffee, but I love this little devotional recommended by our Youth Pastor, my friend, Julie.

It's been in a pile for awhile, I was cleaning my house getting ready for some friends to come over. You know my theory on house cleaning, clean but not so clean it intimidates people ;) but I found this opened it to where I left off.

Perfect Love.

Yeah, that's God's love for us. No matter what we do, fabulous or uh.. not so fabulous. He loves us for our fabulousness and our screw ups, even for our housecoats. He loves us. He will never turn His back on us, He will never say "Holy Moly, what the heck did Margie just do, I don't think I love her anymore". That is why I am brave when it comes to God and His work. I know that if I am called to do something and I forget to get out of my own way, He'll clean up the spilled Kool-aid, fix it, we'll talk about it and He will still love me. No need to worry.

Earlier in the day I was wondering about Jer 29:11, I wondered while we are down here living if sometimes by our choices God has to get out the eraser and rewrite our stories... I guess I got my answer. Is He great or what?

1John4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Dear God,
Good morning, thank you for this beautiful day You have blessed me with. THanks for reducing the heat some, it was getting so hot, I really think hell was jealous... But Lord, I have a request, as I always do. Please give Sara, Pat, Becky, and all the parents and people who love the "Thailanders" peace. Lord, we know in our heads and hearts that You called these awesome kids to do Your work, we know that in Your perfect love, we have nothing to fear, they are Yours, and You will watch over them. Thank you God for all You do in Your perfect love, I love you. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006


I was talking with my g-friend yesterday, she asked about Phyllis's Dad and what the story was, she was funny because she was a little nervous about asking. While I don't broadcast my story, I will openly talk about it, it is a part in the story of Margie. We ended up talking about how Phyllis got her name and some more parts in the story of Margie and how inside I am always nervous and how if I had my choice I would sit in the back and never raise my hand because I really was a nervous kid and I have to push myself to be "out there" and I said "that's my real personality" but I really started thinking about me and my life last night.

I don't have many regrets from being a kid, my childhood was pretty good. I had a pretty happy childhood with some hard times dealing with never having a mom and having a dad that was scared to lose me (he held my sister when she died and my mom's hand when she died).

Its not easy for me to get up in front of the church, if you have ever seen me get up there, I very rarely ever make it without crying or at least getting misty. But I do it.

I wonder is my real personality the one that gets "out there" with hesitation or is it the really shy person who "steps up" because I am called. I guess it doesn't really matter, it's not about me its about how God uses me for Him. Someday I am going to ask Him...

When they were alone, He explained all things to His disciples —Mark 4:34

Heavenly Gracious Loving Father, please watch over Your servants who are leaving for Thailand today. Lord, we know that You have called them to go. We place them in Your care. Lord, hold the plane in Your strong hands, and Lord, let every person they come in contact with see Your love. Lord, it's not always easy for us to let go, but Lord, we know that You have all the power, we know that You will take great care in those beautiful children. Lord, I am thanking You in advance for Your care for these children, make their trip smooth. In Your beautiful Son's name, I pray. Amen.