Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Sunday, April 30, 2006

God is in everything.

I used to post in the morning, but lately it's been life lessons that I reflect on at the end of the day. How is God teaching me, or how is He using me today.

Truth be told, I hate scavenger hunts, I hate games. I don't like to lose. Really, that's why I don't like them.

My plan was to stay home from Driven tonight, work on some homework. Then, I got the call, "you're bringing your camera tonight, right?". It was Julie. Oh yeah, I'll be there. I would do almost anything for Julie and the kids. Even go on a scavenger hunt. There are some awesome lessons Julie teaches the kids, and me. We had to find someone with a hockey jersey. You think we could? Nope. Even tried a bar (I went in, no kids). NO hockey jerseys. (I told you I like to win). Ok, so... what to do??!! PRAY!! So I say to the kids, we have to pray. Nikki prays, I get the feeling, I think we're close. We ran up to these random people in a backyard, got the picture. Ran back to the car.

Now, scavenger hunts are fun, team building experiences, and I will tell you, that God used me today. Not only because I have a digital camera, not because I can drive, run, and am creative, but because I said to those kids "take everything you have to the Lord, He's never failed you". I hope the kids remember, but He used me on myself. There have been a lot of things I have been struggling with, but He's never failed me. It's a good reminder. Take everything to the Lord.

John 14:13-14 13And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. 14You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Saturdays are Timeless...

I love Saturdays. Saturdays that are busy, Saturdays that are lazy. I love Saturdays. I don't really have a favorite day of the week, I love each one for a different reason.

There are Saturdays where errands are endless. There are sunny Saturdays on the boat. There are Saturdays for scrapbooking, Saturdays for yard work... I love Satrudays.

Time passes quickly and slowly at the same time. No watches. It's 8 at night right now, and I feel like I just woke up. It was a busy day, one filled with blessing over blessing. Lunch with Sara (thanks Sara, I needed that), punkin cake making, lawn mowing, raking, decorating the church, bath time, and soon it will be time to meet some friends.

God's love is timeless. It's amazing. We love are little kids, they are cute and inquistive. We love our kids as they grow older for different reasons, for who they have become and who they are going to be. We love our kids as they are adults, friends. We love in all seasons for all different reasons. God, He just loves us. When we are good, when we're bad, He just loves us.

God's love is timeless, and I am thankful for it. And undeserving.

Proverbs 10:12 Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins

Friday, April 28, 2006

A tough nut to crack...

I am a tough nut to crack, I keep a lot of things inside, I am not one of those people who you can ask "so what's wrong?" and the answer will just come. My issues on the surface are like more like trees, with deep deep roots that take a long time to die (did you know that if you cut down a tree, the roots will continue to grow under ground?).

To say I am better than I used to be sounds like a cop-out. But it's true. I attribute that growth to my love for Christ. I want to please Him, the things I wrestle with are that the narrow road is harder to stay on. While you are riding it, people come and shove me (hard) right off, sometimes it feels like a cliff, and I feel like that guy in National Treasure who keeps falling and falling and falling while everyone watches in the scene under the church...

I probably pray now more than I ever prayed before, I have learned to (but I still fail) go to the Lord first, and really try to listen... sometimes my hearing doesn't work so good... But I am getting better, and one day, I hope to be just like Him. My journey is long...

Phil 3:12-14 12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Man in the Moon -- please put your light out...

Today is a full moon... do I believe in all that stuff, not so much, but what a concidence. Yikes... The pop machine took my money, didn't give me my POP!! I already had a caffeine headache, someone screwed up something... and list goes on... and on... and i have had that song "Bad day" in my head, but I really only know one line of the song... and you know what... it's not a bad day.

Things are a little nutty, people are dumb, pop machines screw up, I went and got another pop, I ate at Panera. Life is so good.

It's all in my perspective.

My girlfriend is now 6 months cancer free - I am thanking God in advance for healing my friend Jon that has cancer. I have a home, friends, and a million other blessings. A MILLION... God is so good.

I had a bad moment, maybe a few...

Here are part of the words to the song... I think it's funny, thank goodness for the internet, you can get the song lyrics...

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

Life is good, God is better.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Another Answered Prayer!! BIG PRAISE UPDATE!!

My friend Carole who was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer is now 6 months cancer free!! WOO HOO!!!

I don't know how long it's been since she was diagnosed, all I can tell you was that I was in International Econ!!

Thank you Jesus!!
I've really been struggling lately. Mostly with lonliness.

My issues stem from a lot of variables. Some of them from outside influences, some from internal influences.

I want to be married. But only if the union is what God wants, only if we live as God intends. I want to marry someone who is my friend. I want to marry someone who loves me, who I love, and who my daughter can look up to as someone as a role model of someone she would want to marry. Someday...

I miss my best friend. I do. I miss talking with her, and being myself around her.

Most people think they know me. People know what I let them know, make no mistake about it. Most people have no idea what I go through on a day to day basis. They don't know my struggles, it's because I don't let them. There is always something I hold back. People have hurt me, sometimes I wonder why I stick around and don't just pack up and leave, but truth be told, I love them. God knows how I feel. Only He can see in my heart. Sometimes I really try to cover it up, but He knows. He sends me lifesavers (I prefer pineapple) when He knows I need them.

Psalm 57:1 Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed.

Building 429 No One Else Knows
My world is closing in
On the inside
But I'm not showing it
When all I am is crying out
I hold it in and fake a smile
Still I'm broken, I'm broken
Only one can understand
And only one can hold the hand
Of the broken, Of the broken
When no one else knows how I feel
Your love for me is proven real
When no one else cares where I've been
You run to me with outstretched hands
And You hold me in your arms
I need no explanation of why me
I just need confirmation
Only You could understand the emptiness inside my head
I am falling, I am falling, I'm falling down upon my knees
To find the one who gives me peace
I am flying, Lord I am flying
I have come to you in search of faith
Cause I can't see beyond this place
Oh You are God and I am man
So I'll leave it in Your hands
When no one else knows how I feel
Your love for me is proven real
When no one else cares where I've been
You run to me with outstretched hands
When no one else knows how I feel
Your love for me is proven real
When no one else cares where I've been
You run to me with outstretched hands
And You hold me in Your arms,
Ohh You hold me in Your arms,
I know that You'll hold me in Your arms

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Answered Prayers

Does it ever just blow your mind how God answers our prayers? Some of just the littlest things and the HUGEST things.

Everyday on my way in I pray that I get to park close and in the same parking lot. Really, I do, and everyday that parking spot is there for me. I know it's stupid, but for some reason, it means a lot to me otherwise I wouldn't ask for it.

I also pray for big things, little boys and their brain tumors and salvation, and that it will only be little boys and salvation. For friends to live cancer free, for friend's salvation and to give me the words... I pray for finances, for health, for a million big and little things. And God hears them, from little me.

I matter THAT much. Doesn't that blow your mind?! That you matter that much to him. For all the things I do that I shouldn't or for the things I should do. I matter that much.

He is an awesome God. If there is something that you have been praying for, but you haven't got the answer yet, keep praying, He hears you.

If there is something that you would like me to pray about for you, for someone you know, please send me an email.

Please pray for my friend Jon, he is battling that yucky Cancer thing.

In Christ's Infinite love,


Psalm 17:1 1 Hear, O LORD, my righteous plea; listen to my cry. Give ear to my prayer—
it does not rise from deceitful lips.

Happy Birthday Sara, I pray that God gives you a year of more happiness than you could ever imagine, great health, more love than your heart can hold, and more of the Joy of Jesus.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

She was my “Aunt Dee” my sister was named after her. I can see why, she was SO AWESOME. When you don’t have a mom, you just don’t learn normal stuff, like how to really set a table, or how to make cukes and sour cream (yummm…).

She was the best, one of those people that you never really understand all she taught you until A) someone else doesn’t know how to do it, or B) you teach your own children.

I loved her so much, my mom loved her so much, she loved us SO much. Because of her, I have a great love for reading. She would take me to the library; take me to garage sales so I could get new books. It’s because of her I love Hi-C and I smile when I see Avon Bubble Bath. It’s because of her that I know the value of driving to 10 stores to get all you need at the best prices.

She took me to ride my first horse. She taught me how to do ceramics. She taught me how to make tomato sandwiches and how awesome they are in the peak of tomato season. We would eat cucumber sandwiches whenever I was around, because no one else would eat them with her. I laugh when I see sandwich spread in the store (YUCK!) because I loved her so much that I didn’t want to hurt her feelings that I HATED it, so I ate it anyway or went without eating if she was serving it because “I wasn’t hungry”.

She taught me how to love iced tea with no sugar. Weaning me off the sugar one tablespoon at a time. She even got me to love General Hospital because we would watch it together when I visited her in the summer (I still love the show).

She was the best. She taught me how to put on pillowcases easier, she taught me to love with my whole heart and that it was always worth it to make everyone’s favorite when they were coming over for dinner (Potato salad for Rob, Tuna salad for Kathy). I can see her smile when she knew everyone was coming.

She gave me a family that loves me for always.

She was the best. I miss her.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Do you ever wonder what satan really sounds like? I think he can disguise his voice in so many different ways. Today, he sent me an email. I'll share it with you...

"Hi Margie,
Please remove me from you email list. As a thought from a friend, "me", Please do not go overboard with your passion about god. Your other friends and coworkers might not share your thoughts. They can be pushed away"

This surprised me, a lot because me and this "friend" have had many discussions about Jesus, and how He needs to be at the center of our lives (I thought our discussions were truly genuine-- but I guess that's what I get for thinking)... I haven't even sent out many emails lately, and this one came... First I was like "jerk" and then I thought... "forgive them Father, for they know not what they do".

I will continue to send emails because I get way more "WOW, God knew i needed to hear that", or" that was really relevant to me". My job as it says in Matthew 28 the Great Commission, go make disciples, and apparantly satan is trying to stop me. "Get behind me Satan-- I got my armor on, and I am going into battle (peacefully)."

Ephesians 6:10-20 10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. 19Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

Friday, April 21, 2006

“You have a beautiful face…”

I didn’t know what to say, I was so EMBARRASSED!! Mostly because I don’t know what is meant by that…

Is it, “you’re really pretty, but you’re fat!” or what? I am not good at taking compliments if you haven't figured it out...

I just said “thank you”.

I never think of myself has pretty or beautiful. On a good day, maybe cute, but past that… ah…

When I was younger, I was always “the sweet one”… but when you are younger, you want to be “the pretty one”. We all want to be the pretty one. I was never the pretty one. EVER. No one ever told me I was pretty. I really don't think growing up I was ever told that I was good at anything, I was told what I should be, but not told "you're good" wherever I was at the time, I really was never made to feel special.

Now, I like to know that I look nice, but it’s not so important that I am pretty or beautiful on the outside. My heart is so much more important. I long to be the “sweet one”. The one that people are drawn to because their smile is inviting, the one who always has room in their heart or on their prayer list for one more. That is what I strive to be.

For some who have never seen the really mean side of me, it's hard to imagine but if you know the real me, there is always a choice, I can be your best friend or your worst enemy, and let me tell you, if you choose the second, you are in for something, not very pleasant.

I would love to always be the first one. I love to love people. I love to do the little things for them, make cookies, bring them jellybeans, candy, send a card. Those are the things that make me the most happy because it shows the joy in my heart.

Psalm 28:7 Therefore, my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song, I will praise Him.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

I never know exactly what is going to come out on the blog when I start. I pray about what God wants to me write about... so that was this mornings Blog, but on my way to work, a route that I very rarely take, I saw this guy, kind of scary looking, not scary like "RROOAAAARRRR" scary like "no place to live, dirty" a place i never hope to be.

There were many things that went through my head-- be mindful (Grady's voice), God created him in His image, too.

But today's scripture was "He guides me". I bet of the 1000 times I come to work, I take the route I took today 1 time. But for whatever reason, I didn't turn down London and went a different way. Saw this guy. "One of the least". I could not do "nothing", I had to do something. I'm fat, and I could not decide what to have for breakfast on my way to work, McD's or Bagels... or maybe I should try Tim Horton's. So I saw this guy, it's a little chilly, I will go to Tim's get him a coffee and something to eat, and bring it to him.

His name is Tony, or Anthony. He was surprised that I brought him something, he didn't ask. God guided me. As I got in my car, I looked at him, I think he was talking to Jesus. I don't know for sure, the window was rolled up.

I am not telling you this because I want Kudo's for buying the guy some coffee, come on, it was $3. Not a big deal. I am telling you this because we should all be so greatful for what we have. Most of us are only a few bad choices away from being Anthony. It's only by His grace that we have what we have. It's only by His blood that we are forgiven.

Do me a favor, please pray for Anthony. I don't know his story, but God does, He knows exaclty what Anthony needs.

Praise to you Jesus. You are the best, I am the least of these. And by Your love I am forgiven, I am redeemed. I am loved.

Acts 4:33 With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all.
I have no idea how I got here...

Sounds kind of crazy. How did I end up in Sales & Marketing? Don't get me wrong (here I go again), I love my job. I didn't know anyone in business, I didn't even really know that the job I had ever existed. I wanted to be a teacher. I love kids, now I don't have much patience, I think from always having to claw through all the muck, never settling for what I heard but didn't like, i don't have the patience for those who easily give up, I think God knew what He was doing when I didn't become a teacher.

I don't know if people know what I do (somedays I just don't know how to explain it). It's not brain surgery, the products I sell are necessary for automobiles, but not really all that cool compared to some of the electronics, cell phones, computers out there, but the impact I can have on one person. To know that I am praying for them while their wife has cancer, they are trying to get pregnant, while their son has a brain tumor, their daughter has Rheumatoid Arthritis just like Phyllis did, the encouragement I can give them when life just doesn't seem to be going their way (start counting), that's the best part of my job.

I know how I got here. His name is Jesus.

Psalm 23:3 3 He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

I can't sing. Not kidding, I stink, but I love to sing. Of all the spiritual gifts I could have (or not have), that's the one I want the most. I love music. I have around 900 CDs, my car is always loud, I want to sing.

I was walking around the 'hood yesterday, listening to #8 in the Joy Series and there was praise music after Mike was talking and as I was walking around the 'hood I was singing, and I am sure it was loud, and there were 3 people outside that I didn't see until it was way too late, they heard me. Yikes... 'Oh well, I thought, I love Jesus, they should know', i waited until two more houses and started singing again (no point in prolonging their torture).

I think I should marry a musician. Chris Tomlin will do. Anyone got his number??

Psalm 98:4 4
Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all the earth: make a loud noise, and rejoice, and sing praise.

P.S. (Post Scripture) Today I have school... Please pray for me, that i may be the light of Christ, that I will touch someone, someway, and that God will use me in some amazing way to lead another one of His flock back to Him. Thanks!

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Bloom where you are planted…

I am almost done with school. People continually ask me, “are you going to leave Lear when you graduate?”

My first impulse to say to them is “and where do you think I am going to go? Have you seen the news? Have you read the paper? Have you talked to anyone unemployed? There’s no jobs.”

But that’s the negative in me.

I love my job.

I only got my degree (at least this is how it started) is that if I did get laid off, I would be marketable, but in no way did I do it to get another job. I think, I really do, that I work for one of the most awesomest companies. One that if you work hard, and do a good job, you can work your way up, it’s an amazing place to learn and grow in knowledge and in yourself.

I think that no matter where I am in life, I have learned to bloom where I am planted. I may gripe and complain, but I can always find something good in whatever I do… I really can bloom where I am planted, I can praise in a storm.

There is an awesome book by TD Jakes, “10 Commandments of working in a hostile environment’. I had a job that I loved but I worked with people who just weren’t nice, and I knew I was stuck there, and I had to find a way to ‘bloom’. So I bought the book. Basically the premise is that there is a reason why you are there, to spread the love or Christ, and to grow. This place is just a preparation ground for the next.

It reminds me of the Samartian woman who just wasn’t in a good place, she wasn’t living the greatest testimony, but boy, did Christ use her. BIG TIME! He is so wonderful because sometimes when we are living a life more like a weed, He blooms us into a dandelion with a bright, beautiful, yellow flower, one that kids pick for their moms, one that can make your chin yellow, one that eventually kids seek out to make a wish on (a prayer is a wish directed upward).

Whatever you are doing today, bloom where you are planted, Christ is going to use you in some AMAZING way.

Is 61:11 11 For as the soil makes the sprout come up and a garden causes seeds to grow, so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise spring up before all nations.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Jesus is alive
Death has lost its victory
And the grave has been denied
Jesus lives forever
He's alive!
He's alive!
He's the Alpha and Omega
The first and last is He
The curse of sin is broken
And we have perfect liberty
The lamb of God is risen
He's alive, He's alive!
Jesus is alive!

Mark 16: 6 6"Don't be alarmed," he said. "You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

And He set me on fire, and I am burning alive.
With His breath in my lungs I am coming undone.
And I cannot hold it in and remain composed.
Love's taken over me and so I propose the letting myself go.
I am letting myself go.

You are my joy.
--David Crowder

My neighbors were not pleased with me today. Well, to be honest, I don’t know if that is true, but my little Toyota Corolla was ‘singing’ You are my Joy by David Crowder REALLY REALLY loud. What can I say, those little radio elves got in there, turned up the radio and I couldn’t hurt their feelings by turning it down :)

I’ve been listening to the ‘Joy’ Series by Pastor J and Pastor Mike. WOW! It blows my mind AWAY because it makes my heart rule. In one of them Pastor J says something like ‘happiness is based on happenings’. Joy comes from within. Joy helps you praise in a storm, like when your family leaves you, when you have food poisoning, when things just don’t go your way. In that same respect, I think sadness is based on happenings too but despair comes from within.

I’ve known God all my life, but I knew Him like a neighbor, but I didn’t really accept Him fully into my heart until about 3 years ago, I tried to hide my despair from Him, and to the outside world I tried to be ‘happy’. Now I have joy, because I know Him. He has set me on fire, I want to spread the love of Jesus like wildfire. I want to ask people who don’t believe “hey knucklehead, how do you deny that He is a Savior” (but I think that would be Stupid Evangelism Trick #265) :) so I am working on other ways to get those I love to know Him, to love Him. And remember He’s not just any Savior, He’s a RISEN Savior. A RISEN SAVIOR, say it with me 'RISEN SAVIOR'. For what you did, for what you’re going to do, He still loves you, and He is Alive. satan, one for God, none for you. Game Over for you, for us, it lives on-- eternally. If you let Him in your heart, to be honest with Him, He will love you, you will have joy.

John 15:11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.

Friday, April 14, 2006

He answered my prayer, and it was just a very little one...

I wanted to take my g-friend's boys to the marshmallow drop in Trenton (Eliz Park to be exact). First time I've ever done something fun with the boys, just me and Phyllis. I walk up and thought I think it's raining, let the dog out -- it was raining. UGH!!

Please God, let it be a beautiful day, I'll praise you for rain another day, today, I want sunshine, I want to hang with the boys chase them with a camera, take them to the park, have some "Aunt Margie" time. I want, I want, I want. Yes, I am selfish, I want my day off (I don't seem to have too many of those with something fun planned) to be fun.

By the time I left to pick them up... no rain. It was muddy, but who cares. God answered my silly little prayer. He does it over and over for me. Gives me things that i certainly don't ask for and CERTAINLY don't deserve (I love GRACE) because He loves me (A LOT!).

Thank You God for the most awesome day, You suffered for me, because You loved me, even before I was thought of by anyone else. I love you.

Psalm 106:1 Praise the Lord!! Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good

Thursday, April 13, 2006

She's my BESTIE!! (a term used by teenagers to describe their best friend)

I could have never imagined that the first time at First Baptist would bring me the best friendship ever. One that is sewn together by the love of Jesus.

She makes the best apple crisp (but it's ugly- but it tastes really really good)
She makes me laugh
She has good aim with a french fry
She loves Jesus (and He so loves her)
She has a great heart
She makes me a better person, friend, mom, lover of the Lord
She is a great listener
She is a great fiance and will soon be a great wife
She's a great teacher
She's a great stepmom
She's a great friend
She's a great accountability partner
She can make me smile every time she calls and says "hey there"
She's a great role model for my daughter
She loves teenagers, all kids, really
She loves me more than I deserve
She's God's girl
She gives good advice
She's a good scrapbooker
She has a great heart (I said that twice, I know)
She's my bestie

I thank God for her everyday because without her, I'm just Margie

Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times

I love you Christie, I cannot wait for this weekend!!!

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

I love my job.

I know it's crazy, but I really do. I would love to be a caterer, but it's not my time for that, and since I love to cook, I think it's more of a blessing that I don't have to do it everyday, that when I do it, it is for special occasions, and everyone gets their favorite thing (I am not kidding).

The reason I tell you this is that when things don't go as I would like, and I find myself yelling at the top of my lungs (not kidding about this either) "they will not steal my joy!!", I count. I count my blessings instead of burdens. Sounds a little kooky, I know. Sometimes i start with "thank you God for the rain, the flowers need it" or something very small, and before i know it the list is very long and I have a very greatful heart.

Count it all joy - Baby - (James 1:2) is one of my favorite scriptures because of all the things that go on in our lives, we know that God is making us better, stronger. But sometimes counting it all joy means (in my mind) count all the good things. Count them one by one, and praise God for those blessings, one by one.

I love my job, I do, I think it's perfectly suited for me (Thank you, Jesus). I love my house, it's perfectly suited for me (Thank you, Jesus). I love my daughter, she's just plain perfect (Thank you, Jesus). I love my friends (Thank you, Jesus). And God, the weather was beautiful today, thank you.

No matter what happens in my life, I have Christ, and from Him all blessings flow.

Romans 15:11 "Praise the Lord, all you Gentiles, and sing praises to him, all you peoples.

Monday, April 10, 2006

My heart is breaking.

God loves me.

James 1:2 Count it all Joy! BABY!

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Battle Cry/ATF

It was amazing to see the kids this year, on fire for God. They want to change the statistics, one heart at a time.

As a parent, I have always wanted to just be the best I can be to help Phyllis grow to be a better woman than I am. To have self confidence, to succeed, somehow in this world without losing focus that this world is NOT the one you live for. To give her all she needs to fight her own "battle". That was always my dream, now it's my prayer.

So now, as a parent, I must figure out what tools she needs to help her be successful in her Battle Cry. Luckily though, I already have the answer... Him. I must ask Him. He will give her all she needs. He is her everything.

Sorry... same verse.

Matthew 28:16-20.

Go sound your own Battle Cry. Go in peace and love AND serve the Lord!!

Friday, April 07, 2006

We're leaving for Battle Cry today. I am excited. I am even missing school tomorrow because of it. THAT'S how important it is to me.

I heard a statistic the other day, it was from a good source, but I haven't verified it yet. Only 4% of the Millenial (teens today) will have a relationship with Jesus. That my dear friends, just scares me. I think, I can change that. One kid at a time. Invite them to Youth Group, invite them to Youth Group activities (Julie always teaches a lesson, she's good that way), talk to them about how much God loves them, make 3 trips to Youth Group because my car isn't big enough to take the kids I've fed over to Driven (This really happened, and it was really funny, and I am proud I got to do it--I wish it would happen again).

What is the statistic for the Xers? I work with the Xers, I go to school with the Xers. If by my observation I think the statistic is lower. Lower than 4%, that scares me too.

Pray for our kids that are going. Pray for the leaders who will be attending Battle Cry, Pray for the facilitators, the Worship Leaders. Pray that the messages we learn will help us to go make disciples, no matter their age.

I am sorry about the repeat verse, but it's one of my favorites.

Matthew 28:16-20 16Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Top Ten Reasons…

I am a true believer in counting your blessings not your burdens. Sometimes I’m a dope and begin counting the wrong things… OOPS!! (Please refer to #10 below).
If you’ve been reading my blog you know that I am finishing my last semester. Well, I started yesterday (see #8 below). ICK! 4 papers (I really focus on that) but I have to remember… it’s all in my perspective. I apparantly didn’t have the right glasses (they weren't rose colored) on today, let me tell you! So… I am leaving work, a few minutes late, I just know that traffic is going to be bad (it was). I forgot a copy of my schedule, which means I have to stand in line at the school to get it. I have to stand in line at the bookstore to get my overpriced books, AND I HATE BEING LATE. I am afraid I am going to be late for class. I call Julie. I cry, “it’s only the first day and I am already stressed out” but here is the key part of the rest of our conversation “what do people do when they don’t have God, I have God and it’s still hard”. Not like Paul (formerly Saul) who was chained to a Roman guard but it’s still not the greatest (see I was listening-see #7!!).
There are so many reasons why I love God.

10. I love God because even when I screw up really bad… He loves me. I've screwed up a million times (and counting) but He always forgives me and He always loves me.

9. I love God because if I had the opportunity to move a mountain (not really sure why I would ever need to-but if I did…) and I just had a little faith, say the size of a mustard seed… It would move. I can even write 4 papers, do homework all in one semester.

8. I love God because when I am starting a semester and work is really hectic and I am stressed… He says “I know the plans I have for you—now go prosper”

7. I love God for the ‘Joy with an Attitude’ sermon series (if you want to borrow it let me know, but I want it back- it's that good!) This has been the biggest blessing!! I cannot even tell you. The message has been awesome, just what I need to hear to help me grow in Christ.

6. I love God because He gives me strength, how else do you think I can do all I do?

5. I love God because He gave me a great family. In class last night the Professor which would you choose in a burning house, “your dying grandmother or $5 million”, they answered the money. YIKES! That scares me. I am blessed, I have a great family, we are all pretty emotional but at the end of the day or in a burning fire, we'd value each other over any amount of money in a house. My question to the class was, 'how do you know your grandmother doesn't have TWICE that much in a bank?'

4. I love God for the awesome music He lets me borrow to worship Him. Music is just awesome, when I let the world (it's my DECISION) steal my joy, music restores it. 'How Great is Our God?" He's SO Good!!

3. I love God for Phyllis. How come I got so blessed with an awesome kid. It's only by God's grace, mercy, and love that I got her.

2. I love God for His grace and mercy. I screw up (see 10 & 3). Only by His love and mercy do I not get what I deserve.

1. I love God because He loved me first!

So it all comes back to my question...


As we were in class, we discussed many things... And many times in the class people said, “what’s wrong with people these days?” my answer was always the same (so much so that they told me to stop saying it- I don't think they were comfortable with their position) “people don’t have a relationship with Jesus”. Many know that the first Sunday School lesson I learned was “the great commission”. And I don’t really think it was an accident how that worked. People need God in their lives, I am not talking about heading to the nearest steeple, saying a few prayers, and then back to business as usual. I am talking about a true relationship with Jesus. He gets accepted in their hearts, and He lives there. We turn to His word when we have a problem. We draw on Him when we need strength. We love Him.
So maybe I’ve rambled… it was a wake up call to me that I haven’t been doing as much loving and spreading the Good News of Jesus Christ as I should, lead by example.
And for the record, I have way more than 10 reasons why I love God… that was just a start.
Dear God,
It’s me again, I know I didn’t draw on Your strength like I should. Sorry. Thanks for all the blessings today, Lord. I won’t bore everyone with them now, but we’ll talk later. I just want to say Lord, I hear You, Lord. I will do Your will. I will go make disciples of all nations, I will show them the love You have for us. I won’t just tell them Lord, I promise, I will show them. Thank you again Lord for the awesome opportunities You give me everyday. I love You

Matthew 28:16-20 16Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Wisdom... AH... To be smart...

I always ask questions. I hate to be stupid. If I don't know something because I never had the opportunity to learn it, well, that's not my fault. But if I have the opportunity to ask a question and I don't ask... STUPID STUPID STUPID.

There are many instants that this happens. In a bible study... I don't know much about the bible compared to a lot of my brothers and sisters, but I always ask. In my head, I think of the questions and I think that satan whispers "they'll think you're stupid". My answer is the always the same "If I don't ask, and someday the find out I wanted to ask a question, they WILL think I'm stupid".

It's the same at work. If I don't know or understand, I keep asking until I do. But I didn't one time... And it bit me (right in the butt) HARD.

When I started at my job, my customer was Toyota. There are so many lessons we can learn from Toyota that can carry out into our lives. (Sorry for you who love the Ford,GM,or DCX- but that's why they are doing so well). They ask "why?" until they are satisfied and the issue is resolved, there are no more "why's" to ask.

Low and behold... God tells us in that "handy" book He gives us for everyday living (Basic Instructs Before Leaving Earth). God wants us to ask for wisdom, He wants us to be smart in His Word. He wants us to grow, He wants us to learn His word so we can "go make disciples", He wants us to see how He can make us strong when we are weak so we can help others. Is there a book that can teach you more than the Bible? Is there a life better than the one in Christ?

The answer my friends (and those who don't like me) that answer is a Big FAT NOPE.

James 1:5 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

I don’t want to be brave.

I had a completely different blog for today, but I’m afraid. I’m afraid of what people will think. God already knows my heart. He lives there. But I need accountability. I need for someone to check up on me.

I can’t say one thing and live another. I can’t say I’m a Christian and live another life. I’d be double-minded. And I’d be fake. With that said, I fall down all the time. And I want to be brave on so many different levels, with my words, with my actions, and mostly with my heart. Which means that I must consult with “The Man” daily, hourly, and sometimes minute by minute.

“What do you want me to do, Lord? I am your servant, and I know you’ve sent people here to help me. You’ve given me the Holy Spirit to talk to me, to guide me. But still, I’m afraid. I don’t want to be brave.

I don’t want to be brave, but… You told me. You said, “speak it, live it” they will help you.
But it’s hard. But… I’m going to consult some more…

Exodus 14:13Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.
John 14:27Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid..
So this is it. I am sure no one really cares, but I was told (by God) that I was supposed to write (and publish this). My day went pretty crappy yesterday. I know that God is a loving God but I also know that He is all powerful. And when I don't listen... consequences. I don't know if it was a coincidence or not, but I am telling you, I feel better when I listen to God, even when it's not something I want to do.

I was listening to Chris Tomlin at work today, "you've seen the depths of my soul and you love me the same". I can remember when I first heard that (Youth Specialties), I think that was the moment I decided I wanted to marry him (everyone has to have something they really want but it's out of their league- trust me, I strongly doubt that he would even be interested in speaking with me!) And then I'm listening more... "the earth is filled with His Glory". He knows what I need to say, He knows that out of my struggles, I will, in turn, serve Him by helping someone else. After I get my poop in a group.

So... here it is...

I don't want to write about this. For real. But I can hear God saying... you need to be held accountable. You need an accountability partner for this one. I watch you struggle with this everyday. This is not easy for me. Believe me. I'm a sinner.

I want to save myself for when I am married. I know it's a little too late. Only a little though because Christ can wipe my slate clean. I wish sometimes I had no sexual desire and life would seem so much easier. I fight with this every day. EVERY day. It's everywhere, it's in the grocery store, in the car next to me, it really does seem everywhere. I try to be strong, and then Satan sends it to me with a beautiful package, a HUGE temptation. The package is beautiful on the outside, shiny paper, a beautiful bow. I want to open it. I think, oh, just once. One more time. Then I will wait for my husband. But I lean on the Lord. I know that once I open the package, it will be great... for a minute, then I will be sorry. My heart will ache for the one that God is preparing for me.

I had to listen to my daughter say "my friends told me 'you're mom is a sinner'". I literally could have died at that moment. That sucked. I made a mistake. I "signed on" to a relationship without consulting God first. By no means is she a mistake. I gave her to the Lord. She is His. She is the perfect example that if you give it to the Lord that He will make good.

Please help me. Pray for me. Hold me accountable. I know God is preparing me, and preparing my (future) husband for an abundant life in His light. But the preparation is difficult.

1 Thes For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you shoudl abstain from sexual immorality.

Monday, April 03, 2006

I've been praying about school a lot. Lots of conversations have been pointed upward. It's because school is always rough for me. I like to be busy, I like to do a lot at church. I like to do a lot with Phyllis and my friends. School really puts a big damper on that. Homework, papers. YUCK. It wears me out. I'm emotional. I could be tired, and I am like a little kid throwing a fit. Not kidding. I could be tired, and one (two or three) things can really set me off. Whatever sets me off is not usually what's wrong, I'm tired, someone is bugging me, I'm mad. When I'm mad, I cry. The problem is that everyone wants to make sure I'm ok I am, just leave me alone.

As an only child, I got time to myself. I enjoyed time to myself. I would spend days in a book. So now, sometimes I crave that time. Silence. Some time that I am not being overstimulated by a million things, a million projects, I just want alone time. Mostly, I want to stop and talk to Jesus. And because I am usually happy (I have a lot of joy) when I retreat, everyone freaks out. Almost like they need me to help them be happy. I like to be happy, but I also like to be sane (it's quirky, I know).

Even Jesus, said, Hey- can you leave me alone for a minute, I need to pray, I need some "alone time". I need it too. Let me tell you, if something is wrong (or that I am upset with you) eventually you will know because I am a straight shooter. If you see me, and I look tired, I look wore out, I probably am. There's really only one thing you can do for me. Pray. Pray that I find strength in the Only one who can get me through, pray that I get some sleep, and pray that I get (or take) the time I need with God. A hug would be good too.

Luke 5:16 6But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed

Sunday, April 02, 2006

I start school on Wednesday. Not so WOO HOO! I get my degree in June! VERY WOO HOO!!

It's going to be a tough semester. 4 Papers, Saturday classes. ICK! I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me (Phil 4:13).

When I look back on last semester, it was really rough. I was over committed on so many levels. Everything suffered. My decision (not my hope) is that I will take baby steps in making commitments. Before each thing that is placed before me, I will first take it to the Lord and say, "My Father, is this Your will?" Only when I hear the answer, will I then answer.

I didn't really think about my schooling when I signed up. I just signed up (jump in with both feet), the only thing that was different was that I went part time the first two semesters so I ended up with two different co-horts. I was so glad that I did. I prayed for so many in my first one. One friend (my partner-in-no-crime) ended up with Ovarian Cancer. Oh how I love her, and oh how God healed her (HE IS SO GOOD!!) and another friend's uncle was in serious health problems, he didn't know that Lord, but with a whole lot of praying, I am hear to tell you, I hugged him, and the best part... HE KNOWS AND LOVES JESUS!! Double Woo Hoo!!
The second co-hort was completely different from the first, I have no idea how my walk has been witnessed except by one. He asked me about God one day, and how with all the different religions I knew that Jesus was the One to follow. Only by God's grace and wisdom did I even attempt to get through that one because Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1) and his questions were based on believing in something that he couldn't see. But God planted the words just the day before (Is He good or what?)

So I am sure that God knows what He has in store for me. And it's my decision (Pastor J-- that really stuck with me even if you were talking about marriage) that I will follow God's will. This semester, and beyond.

Jer 29:11 11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Daylight Saving Time!

Spring Forward... AHH!! I lose an hour! That just sucks! But remember... it's all in your perspective.

Sure you wake up late for church (oh yeah, this is me, Thanks Tonya for waking me up). But look at what you get. MORE SUN!! We got to drive to work in sunshine, we get sunshine longer at night. There is so many things that we should celebrate because we lose an hour of sleep!

Spring is here. Easter is coming, Jesus is Alive! WOO HOO!! Jesus is Alive. Death has lost it's victory! We are free!! WOO HOO!!

Saturday, April 01, 2006

It really is all about Him

For real. Do you have any doubts?

We had the Prayer Vigil at FBC yesterday. IT WAS AWESOME!! Sue and Dawn used their spiritual gifts to new highs yesterday.

The first prayer guide I went to was the one about God's Will. Am I doing it? Am I living it? I'd have to be honest and so "for the most part". I want it to be for "always", I need to work on it.

Matthew 26:36-39 36Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray." 37He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me." 39Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will."

Then off to the "Cross of Burdens", write down your burden and nail it to the Cross. LEAVE IT THERE!! Ok, I am going to, it's all in God's hands. I'm sorry, please forgive me, and Help me please. I am so thankful that my sins are washed away by the blood of Jesus.

1Peter2:24 24He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.

Then off to the crown of thrones, Do I believe in Jesus and what He did (and what He is going to do) with my whole heart, to be honest, that was the EASIEST one. YEAP! I do.

Matthew 27:29 29and then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand and knelt in front of him and mocked him. "Hail, king of the Jews!" they said.

Next was Communion. I love that one (We had it last time too). I always imagine myself there or more like Jesus with me now. It always brings me closer.

Matthew 26:26-28 26While they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying, "Take and eat; this is my body." 27Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, saying, "Drink from it, all of you. 28This is my blood of the[b] covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.

Off to when Mary used the whole thing of perfume to wash Jesus' feet. Ok, maybe I never realized this (and please don't hate me after this... I am only human) but she used her HAIR. I know it's Jesus, I know... I know... but Yikes her hair. But He says after someone gave her a hard time that she could have sold the perfume to help the poor, "you will always have poor, but you will not always have Me". Aren't we lucky? We DO always have Him. He sits at the right hand of the Father, but He also sits at our dinner table, in our car, He stays up with us in the middle of the night when we are worried and cannot sleep. He's with us in all our dark places, and all the places that bring us absolute Joy. (Where two or more are gathered...)

John 12:1-8 1Six days before the Passover, Jesus arrived at Bethany, where Lazarus lived, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. 2Here a dinner was given in Jesus' honor. Martha served, while Lazarus was among those reclining at the table with him. 3Then Mary took about a pint[a] of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus' feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. 4But one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, who was later to betray him, objected, 5"Why wasn't this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? It was worth a year's wages.[b]" 6He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it. 7"Leave her alone," Jesus replied. " It was intended that she should save this perfume for the day of my burial. 8You will always have the poor among you, but you will not always have me."

Then it's off to the Cross. Oh the Wonderous Cross. It was 13 feet tall. It really could go on tour with the GoodYear Nail. It was huge. It was breathtaking, and it was frightening. As I walked up the candlelit aisle, I was scared. "I'm not worthy". I'm not. It's all Grace and Love. ALL OF IT. It was beautiful. When I looked up at the shadow on the ceiling, He was hanging there. It looked just like Jesus was hanging there. I AM NOT WORTHY... Grace and love, grace and love, grace and love. It's hard to put to words. It was beautiful.

Col 2:13-14 13When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature,[a] God made you[b] alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, 14having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross

Gal 2:20 20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me

Grace and Love to you my brothers and sisters. Grace and love to you.