Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Saturday, June 30, 2007

My traning walk today

5.56 miles!! 1.5 hours!!

Life's Lessons

Some of you may have seen this via email. you know my theory on lessons (hence my blog). I got no list today except for 1-10 I'm gonna miss Sara while she's gone. So I am stealing someone else's list. Not sure who wrote it, it doesn't matter.

Try to guess which one was my favorite...

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement, starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don't worry, God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything, if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood, but the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion.Today is special.
22. Over prepare then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone for everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters, in the end, is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Matt 22:36-39 "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" 37Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'[a] 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'

Friday, June 29, 2007


Joshua 3:5 Joshua told the people, "Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you."
Like most of my days, God never ceases to amaze me! I have learned lessons these past two days that I am going to tell you about.

Lesson 1. Be in pictures. So what if my hair needs a dye job, so what if my make up isn't perfect, so what if I am too fat. Be in pictures so that loved ones will have memories when we're gone.

Lesson 2. Sometimes it's not about winning. There is a contest for my walk that the winner who writes the best entry for why they walk during the 3 day wins coverage of $2200 (the minimum donation one must raise to participate in the 3 day). I wrote it (see below), and I wrote it in the hopes that I will win, but if I don't, it's ok, I wrote it for me.

Lesson 3. People love & support you that you've never met. Ok, I totally know this from MY perspective. I pray for people that I don't know, I love them, I support them when I can, but today I got a donation from someone I just "met" via the blog for my walk. WOW. Blown away.

Lesson 4. Don't be afraid. I was so nervous, so afraid of all the aspects of my walk. God eased my heart about all of them.

Am I the only one that the love God gives us, blows me away? I fell like the seeds on a dandelion that get blown by a little kid. Reminds me of this song:

Your love is amazing, steady and unchanging
Your love is a mountain, firm beneath my feet
Your love is a mystery, how you gently lift me
When I am surrounded, your love carries me
Hallelujah, hallelujah, Hallelujah, your love makes me sing
Hallelujah, hallelujah, Hallelujah, your love makes me sing
Your love is surprising, I can feel it rising
All the joy that's growing deep inside of me
Every time I see you, all your goodness shines through
And I can feel this God song, rising up in me
Yes, you make me sing
Lord, you make me sing, sing, sing
How you make me sing

Why I walk by Margie Maierle

To try to put my finger on why I am walking in the 3 day breast cancer walk is like trying to nail down jello. There are so many reasons. I walk for those who have passed before us, I walk for those who have survived. I walk for those who held their breath during a breast exam or a mammogram, and who held their breath waiting for the results.

My mom died when I was 16 months old, she was 31. Both of these ages seem too young. I walk in the hope that one day I hope that I can truly celebrate Mother’s Day. I am a mother of a beautiful daughter, but when I think of Mother’s Day, I think of all the projects made for someone else, not my mom. I think of the flowers brought to her grave. I think of all the times when someone would hear that I didn’t have a mom and ask me about it.

I walk because the one thing my mother taught me long after she was gone was how much you can love your children. I walk in honor of my mom who knew love so big that she chose my life over hers. She didn’t have the option of treatment, She was pregnant when she found out she had breast cancer. Well, she had the option, but it would have killed me, because she was pregnant with me. She chose my life, in doing that, she chose to give up her own. She loved me before she knew me, that much. After she died, the doctor told my dad that even if she would have had the treatment, she wouldn’t have survived anyway, that was almost 33 years ago. In honor of her choices, I named my daughter Phyllis, after her. A name that in my mind, only means one thing, love.

For most of my life, I thought I would die young, I thought that before the age of 32, I would too, die. I celebrated my 32nd birthday, not my 30th. I held my breath the entire day that my daughter was the same age as me (to the day) when my mom died. It sounds silly, but to me, it didn’t seem silly. I walk so that Breast cancer will not be a death sentence. I walk so that no other child will know the pain of losing a mother.

I walk in honor of my dad, my cousins, my aunts, uncles, and all of my family who miss her. I walk in honor of my daughter who never had the opportunity to meet someone with that much love. I walk in honor of myself who has daily struggles of missing her mom, and misses that I can’t just pick up a phone and call her.

I walk for hope.
I walk for a mother’s love.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

On June 27th I got the honor of going to a meeting with my Magic Breast Cancer Walk Family. I took over 30 pictures, and unlike any other event, there are pics with me in them!! It was so amazing, i met my tent mate, her name is Bonnie, and she has an amazing smile, I think I loved her from the moment I met her.
Jim Harper and the gang

Fay Samona, isn't she cute!! She organized it!

Me & Linda!

Bonnie (my new friend and tent mate!)

Me & Sandi (she's our leader, this is her 5th Walk!!

This is Erin, our coach, she announced where the walk will start and end! I can't tell you via blog, but call me and I'll tell you where you can meet me at the end :)

It was Bonnie's b-day and she never should have told me, because I told Fay, and we all wished her Happy B-day!!

This is Tanya, a survivor, I tried NOT to cry while she talked but you know how successful I was at that!! She said that she was here because of others who did and didn't survive before her. She was great, we talked after, and then I totally lost it, couldn't even talk!

Mike looks at the new bandana we got with his mom's name because we are walking in honor of her!

Me, Jim Harper, his wife Lynn

Me and Fay!

This is me & Bonnie, I almost forgot to get one of us!

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

are you afraid?

Reading through Jeremy's sermon notes had just opening my heart so wide that God just pours in, there was a section that said "what is God calling you to do that if you don't do it, you will regret it for the rest of your life?... if it is not of Him, it will fail and won't be a big deal but if He is truly in on it, then HELL itself will not be able to stop it."

I for some reason am still afraid that I won't raise enough money for my 3 day breast cancer walk. And the funny thing is that I am not afraid of the 60 miles, I am afraid of not raising enough money, I am afraid of not having a ride to the walk and I am afraid that I will finish and no one will be standing there to take me home. Now, I prayed and I prayed and I have wanted to do this for a long time. But I'm still afraid.

As for the money, I have a Spaghetti Dinner planned in August, and I am thinking about having a "pink night" which just is a girls night in with dinner and a movie (time and place to be determined) and i will get there.

As for being all alone, I am going to have get over it. I'm going to have to :)

I know that I am supposed to do it! There will be a cure for ALL cancer! I know it. And Hell itself cannot stop me! I know this. I stand strong for those who have gone before us because of this ugly disease, I stand strong for those who have survived. I stand strong for all the families who have had to support their families during this ugly disease.

Judges 6:14 But God faced him directly: "Go in this strength that is yours. Save Israel from Midian. Haven't I just sent you?"


I know that Arlene is not having her treatment today. But it's Wednesday and I am standing and marching for our dear friend today, and always.

Isaiah 53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed

Tuesday, June 26, 2007


I'm sick of my gifts. Ok. I said it. I want to have different gifts. Right now, I am not liking my gifts. Incredibly selfish you are probably thinking, right? she loves working with youth (because she's the mom type), she's great with baking/cooking. She is a great hugger, smiler (hello! have you seen my lips), I can spot danger ahead sometimes before it's close to happening (it's that stupid mom thing again), and I have a knack of getting kids to remember that counters aren't chairs, so we don't sit on them (that would be my "hey sweet pea, that's not a chair, don't sit on it"). I always have an escape route in case something happens, a plan A, B, C, sometimes all the way to Z plan in case something happens and my baby and I need to get out quick. Yes, that's right, our bus breaks down in Kings Island and I IMMEDIATLY start to pray for wisdom on where we are going to stay, just in case. And if your child is in my presence, rest assured, I will take every effort to make sure that they are safe and well cared for (and probably well fed). But sorry, I am sick of my gifts.

You are thinking those are all good things, right? Do you really know what its like to never really ever let go and have fun? I do. It means that while you love God with all your heart, you really hope that He does see it because if I let it all the way open, something might happen and I won't be prepared. It means that when your heart wants to open when you are with all those kids, you're back at the words making sure that it doesn't go wrong and the kids have the right words. It means that during service, you are distracted wondering if every person got greeted, did they feel welcome, and next service (experience) when there is 3 times (at least) as many people, will they feel the love of God when they walk in. It means not crying because you don't want people wondering or asking what's wrong when you are handing them a program. It means that "go big or go home" might fall a little short.

I wasn't there on Sunday, I picked my dad up from a well deserved vacation. I missed church, I missed the message that God had for all of us, but as usual, my focus is me here. I missed the message, but the print out was sitting at the back desk, and I stole it (gasp). It probably would have been thrown out anyway, but i will return it when I am there on Sunday (so I didn't EXACLTY steal it, I borrowed it). I wanted to hear what He had to say via Jeremy. And I got to hear it (read it) undestracted, I haven't finished it yet. But you know what I heard? I heard that God is using me for something great. That He will use me (and my gifts), for Him, even though He certainly doesn't need me. But that He has provided a way for me to succeed in Him, that I don't always need an escape route, because He's got it. He's got it all and though I am small, and weak, and that I have been forced to worship in what I do not just singing (which is an incredible lesson in itself to be shared in another blog), He's got it. And He put me right here for a reason. And that in the HIStory of all His people, there were times when we all didn't like our gifts. And that I can't have someone else's gifts because mine are needed.

You know, I was a little bummed that I missed church on Sunday, that the flight landed smack in the middle of the mornign so I woudn't be able to go to church, maybe it was all part of the plan.... Hmmm...

John 3:27 (Msg) John answered, "It's not possible for a person to succeed—I'm talking about eternal success—without heaven's help

Monday, June 25, 2007

Kiros Boyz

I planned on having the Kiros Boyz over for dinner before the played at Alive on Sunday. Here was my plan… 6 Kiros Boyz, me, Phyllis, and max 5 kids (because I didn't think the Kiros boyz would want to hang out with me)… Turkey dinner at 3:30. Total at max… 13 people in a small house.

Here’s what happened… 6 Kiros boyz, Phyllis, me, Mac, Ashley, Mark, David, Zack, Quinn, Johnny, Selena, Penny, Rachel, Lexi, Hailey, Jessie Mic, Penny’s mom - Phyllis. 21 people. Dinner at 5:00. The boyz were late, Mark showed up with a whole bunch more, Kiros was late, but really, it was a great time. The kids and Kiros played guitar hero, Mac picked “raise your voice’ to watch (not really, but Ashley wanted to watch it, so he suffered through it).

It was a great day/night even though it did not go "as planned".

Neh 12:43 That day they offered great sacrifices, an exuberant celebration because God had filled them with great joy. The women and children raised their happy voices with all the rest. Jerusalem's jubilation was heard far and wide.


The girls making Kiros Posters


Katie's Gram came to visit and see Katie sing!!

Sunday, June 24, 2007


Psalm 33:20 We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield
I think zebras are like the coolest now. Not that I am going to start collecting or anything but everytime I think of Is 53:5 which seems to be a lot lately, I think of zebras and healing. funny, those 2 things never went together before.

It seems that cancer is coming more and more out of the woodwork, it needs to be gone, gone! I tell you! You all know that i am walking in the 3 day breast cancer walk because it's so near and dear to me, but let me tell you, I'm walking for the hope of all! I'm banking on the research and money for breast cancer is a link for all cancers. ALL of them! My friend Carole who had Ovarian cancer said that there is a link between the treatments of O & B. So... that's my plan, I'm walking in the hope for one will be the hope for all.
By His stripes and loving loudly!!

Isaiah 53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed

Saturday, June 23, 2007

I have this friend...

No this won't be some crazy story about me who I try to pass off as one of my friends. I really do have this friend. She's pretty cool.

About 4 months ago my friend Christie blew me off after I took her to the airport and kept her car at my house. I seriously don't know what I did, but whatever it was... oh well. I miss her a lot. And I know that people come in our lives for a reason, a moment, a season, or a lifetime. I thought our friendship would be more of a lifetime thing, I even wore the freaking ugliest swimming pool dress for her wedding. If that's not friendship, I don't know what is.

N-E-WAY--- I have this friend, the one I am about to tell you about, her name is Katie. She's Adam's wife. In case you ever have her over, she likes Strawberry Shortcake but will eat anything you give her. She's just nice like that.

I can't tell you all the things I like about Katie because there's just too many and you might be jealous of her (I am!), let's just say she's one of those kind of people who you think she can't possibly be that great, but she really is. Really.

She was concerned about me. I kept saying yes, when I should have said no to somethings. She let me read this book, "what matters most" and it's about lasting in Youth Ministry, but really it's just about lasting in general. There's a part in the book of an example where Doug Fields goes off on someone, in a nice way, saying that he wouldn't have lasted in Youth Ministry if guilt worked on him or that he said yes to everything. People have told me a million times that I should say no to more things, but I just always had a hard time with that. Until now. I'm learning, I'm taking more time for myself, more time for my family, and I'm saying no without guilt.

I can't say thank you to Katie enough. For being my friend, and for caring about me. I think she's the greatest, and I love her.
10 Great things about Katie
1. She has a great smile
2. She sings GREAT
3. She plays the guitar, great
4. She makes good chicken shish-kabobs, corn, & potatoes
5. She loves Jesus
6. She's a good listener
7. She's great to her hubby and supportive too
8. She loves her friends
9. She can rip up carpet & lay a floor
10. She has a cute voice and a great laugh
11. She has great hair

Proverbs 22:11 God loves the pure-hearted and well-spoken; good leaders also delight in their friendship

Friday, June 22, 2007

Cross Training

In my schedule someone at work made for me for my walk was "cross training" instead of walking. Last night we went to see Crowder at Northridge, what a great time! I was worshipping and sweating like crazy, I wonder if WW has figured out how many points you burn after you see David Crowder.

I was laughing to myself wondering if that was considered cross training. Worshipping, the new form of cross-training. Get it?!

Thanks Kaymac for an amazing time. I love you so much!!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Going to the Doctor

Ok. Something has got to be wrong with me. Seriously. 13 pounds since February only eating 1250 calories a day, something has got to be wrong.

I made the appointment, going to get my blood work done, the whole deal. I need to do something.

I gained 2 pounds this week, and there was no reason for it. I started walking 3 times a week, over an hour each time. It's time to seek some help to get this checked out. Maybe I have a slow thyroid or something.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

for our girl Arlene

Isaiah 53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

Kings Island

So we leave for Kings Island, 46 kids, 17 chaperones, 1 bus driver, 3 cars, a trailer, and a truck. And a whole lot of prayer following behind us.
So we stop at Wal-mart. "there's something leaking from the bus". Great... a minor detour to Wal-mart to get some stuff to fix it...
Temporarily, very temporary. The next stop... WalMart parking lot to hold "games" for Fuel on location in Findley, OH.

So... we needed a place to stay. lo & behold St. Michael's Archangel church... Call information "can we stay at your church, we're stranded"... they found us a KofC hall. Set up for a funeral the next day... but it was dry, no bugs, and the perfect place. They blessed us in amazing ways. We held Fuel on location, a little tuned down, but we were blessed by the whole experience.

We held communion... Fuel Style. Grape juice in styrofoam cups and the tray was the top the drink cooler. And hearts open to all that God has done for us.

So we made it!! Tuesday morning we hopped in the bus, and arrived safe and sound!

In the park... I took lots of pics...

Jackie, Cierra, Tyler, Ryan, Matt, Brittney, Phyllis, Zac, Jordie, Mac, Amber, Jessie & corey in front of the fountain

Warriors, Corey, Amber, Amber, Jordie, Jessie

Phyllis and Jessie

Ashley, Me, Phyllis, Jessie, & Amber (there's only like 3 pics of me the WHOLE trip!)

In the Fear of Flight

Roller Coaster Buddies, Ashley & Phyllis

On the Eiffel Tower

As the storm rolled in, one last pic!!

We're safe on the ground, big storm a coming

2 Knuckleheads who danced in the rain.

Trevor, Mac, Ash, Adam, Lexi, Mark, Jessie, Phyllis, & Jessica S

We're goin' home!